Life Changes…

… the moment you become a mom.

Everything is different from one moment to another. You are no longer just ‘you’.

Suddenly you realize what the word ‘love’ or even ‘unconditional love’ really means. Something you probably thought you know already but believe me: As much as you might love your partner: It does not compare.

The joy you are feeling watching your child. I have no words to describe it really. It’s just magical. The pride, when your baby does something important or special or when you realize how he or she turns out.

The magic of watching them develop and grow. Or when you hear them explain things in the way they see it. It is eye opening!

You are responsible for a life. And there is everything you would do to protect this life. You would give your life for your child. I would kill for my children if I had to.

The pressure you suddenly feel. Don’t screw up! Don’t destroy this magical and pure and beautiful person. Let him or her discover and spread the wings, keep the creativity alive. Be there, when your child needs you. Always.

The worries you suddenly have! And they change with your child changing. So many worries when they are babies. Is your child eating enough, growing and developing as it should, sleeping well. How often did I jump out of bed in the middle of the night to check on my kids to make sure they are still breathing…

And then they start walking and running and falling and hitting their heads and you just hope that they don’t break…

Mine are over the point where I worry about them falling too hard (oh well, not really, as you are probably always worried about that fact…) but I worry about other things. As I said: It develops and grows with your child as well…

There are so many day to day worries I now have… Just normal stuff all parents worry about and sometimes I also worry about not doing the right thing homeschooling them. Those moments are usually triggered by a comment from the outside (see my post “The Odd One Out” ) . And it is silly that I still let myself get to it. But that is usually short lived.

I used to love flying. I couldn’t get enough of it. Traveling in general. I hopped on the plane and I was not worried or fussed. I just went with it. Nowadays I start worrying the moment we book the trip. I worry about not packing enough or packing too much. I am worrying about running late on our way to the airport and having to rush the kids to the point where it gets really annoying…Heaps of little things… I am worried about a creep being on our plane, worried about the flight itself. Worried not for me but for my kids.

I am worrying about bad influences, about bullying. I am worried about “the bad people” out there. I am worried about a asshole boyfriend or girlfriend, breaking my babies heart or doing something really bad to her or to him… I guess there is not much I can do about them getting their hearts broken… It will happen eventually at some point…

Worried about what the social media could do to them if they are not using it responsibly.

I am also worried about protecting them too much. I am worried about not letting them experience things the way they would if I would not tell them to be careful. I am worried that they think too much about what could happen if, just because I told them before. Did I stretch the point “Don’t follow a stranger no matter what” enough or too much?

Will I be able to protect them as well as I can without limiting their freedom to discover life and have fun?

I am sure every parent has worries. Maybe similar or even the same. It is a part of what being a parent is about. Reading my post right now, I thought: “What! That sounds so bad, so negative! So hard, maybe even a bit crazy…”

Being a parent is not bad, negative, hard (maybe a little bit) or crazy. It is all about finding the balance between your worries and the pressure you might feel and all the beautiful sides to it.

It is about not letting yourself be overcome by the worries, about making you children aware of what they need to be aware of and maybe even overcome some of them. It’s about balancing the parts which are worth worrying about and the ones that are not.

It is about enjoying the ride with everything that comes along. Worry when it is the time for it. Laugh when it’s funny, cry when it’s sad. And be aware that there is only so much you can do, you can influence. As the rest of it… Well I guess you just have to go with it.

19 thoughts on “Life Changes…

  1. There is a whole new category of emotional experience. Parental worry, parental guilt, parental shame. Seriously my emotional rainbow became iridescent with parenthood. I identify so much with this post especially because it is not a downer about how hard parenting it is. It is down to earth and loving about the fact that parenthood is an emotional roller coaster and that’s ok. Or at least this is the message I left with. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I told my husband last night over a cup of tea that I think the happiest I have ever been, the most overcome with joy, was when I first held my daughter in my arms. Endorphins are incredible! I missed it with my eldest son who was whisked away to NICU the minute he was born.

    Ahh, the worries of keeping your children happy and safe…hehe…and of course worrying about your kids’ worries…

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  4. Great post! You list a lot of worries. That’s because there are so many. And more now than when my children were little. But the beauty part is that you clearly are able to access all the magic that children bring to life. You are still enchanted by it. As it should be!

    Liked by 1 person

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