NaNoWriMo

I did it! I signed up for NaNoWriMo! Not entirely sure why, but I did it 😉

For a long time I wanted to write and I just feel it would be a good time to finally start. So here is my little excerpt for you guys:

“There is blood, blood all over… and the pain! The pain! It really hurts; it feels like a knife cutting through her abdominals! Stop it! Stop it! She tries to talk, tries to scream, but no sound seems to escape her mouth! Why can she not just scream! It hurts, she feels bad… the blood! She is cold, feels bad, really bad. She is drained in sweat… but she feels cold, really cold! Her heart is racing. It hurts, she is scared and she wants to scream. What are all those people doing around her? Why is nobody helping. Why is everyone just looking at her? Why are they all shaking their heads? She is trying to grab one of them but she cannot reach them! Her arms feel so heavy! She wants it to stop! She can feel it coming out; she can feel her baby coming out! The baby! It’s too early! And there is this familiar blond woman in the corner, smiling, laughing, with an evil look on her face. Pleased to see, that she was incapable of doing anything. Happy about the drama, which was unfolding in front of her. Why is nobody helping? The baby! The baby! The baby! No, no, no…

“NO! NO!” she can hear herself scream. It’s dark. Only a little bit of light comes through the closed blinds of her bedroom window. The alarm clock shows 3.38am. She is drained in sweat and shacking. Her heart pumps like after running a marathon. She checks her linens. No blood. No pain.

Finally she finds her way back into reality. It was only a dream, a terrible nightmare. Where is the light switch? She needs to turn on the light. She needs to get out of the dark. Tonight it was only a nightmare but a couple of months ago most of it was horribly real. It was still hunting her. In real life there was not as much blood as in her dreams. Nevertheless it was a very bad experience. It combined so many elements. Pain, blood, panic, and maybe also hope but then big disappointment and deep sadness. The feeling of a shear unbearable loss…”