It’s Not My Fault You’re Homeless

Listen, I get that you struggle. And I get that you are most probably not happy with where and what you are right now.

But it is not my fault, that life wasn’t that good to you.

So please, leave me alone while I eat my ice cream with my kids. Don’t stop right next to us and stare and tell us again and again, how much you would love to have an ice cream right now. I totally got it the first time!

You totally lost me by standing there and staring at us, telling us over an over how much you would like to have ice cream (our ice cream!) right now. Starring so much, that you scared the hell out of my kids, especially my little daughter!

You idiot totally lost me and the chance to get ice cream from me! Let me tell you something: As I saw you walking towards the place, I actually thought that I will never ever be able to finish my ice cream and I might offer it to you, if you were interested.

But not under circumstances like this!

You stood there and demanded your ice cream! No, OUR ice cream! Demanded to get something from someone, who paid for it. You have no right to do so! Nobody has! When my daughter looked at me with fear in her eyes and whispered to me how much you scare her, you reached your hand out to grab her ice cream and said “So I take it now.”! Not asking but again demanding…

Oh no! You most certainly wont!

I am proud of myself to tell you that she is not finished yet and to back the f off! Although, by now, she was not able to eat anymore and close to tears because of you!

I am proud of myself, that I did not give in and let you have our ice creams. I am proud that we left with our ice creams. I am proud of my husband who thankfully arrived in the right moment to pick us up and just starred back at you. I am proud at him for saying: “To pushy, man!”

Now let me tell you something:

If you are hungry, why are you asking for ice cream? I get that you might want a treat as well, but should it not be more important to you, to get proper food? Or were just only after a treat? Because, you know, if this is the case, I can take you even less serious!

I don’t understand why you are so bloody pushy! Man, you turn people off! Do you really think anybody would like to share something with you, if you demand them to? I don’t, as you know now. I don’t like demands! It is because of people like you, that certain folks think so badly about homeless people! It is because of people like you, that some people don’t give anymore!

See, if you would have stopped and said “Oh, how much I would like to have some ice cream too. Maybe you have some spare ice cream?” And then walk off. I get it, that you might not want to beg. And if you would have simply made the remark “I would love to have some ice cream too” and then walked pass, I would have totally given you the left overs. G! I would have probably bought you one!

But not like that! Demanding from people, just because they have what you want and because you are jealous of that, is not the right way!

I am tired of people like you, who treat people like me (the ones who are not homeless and seem not to struggle), as if it’s our fault that you are where and what you are. It is not!

Some of you try to make us feel bad about enjoying something! Why should we not treat ourselves and enjoy ourselves every now and then? You don’t know anything about us! You have no clue where we are in our life! You have no clue where we came from!

So back the hell off!

I am happy to give and I do give. But not to people who demand. Because if you demand, you are not worth giving. You will never be thankful, you will never appreciate. You did not look dirty. Your cloths did not look bad… So you are definitely better off than others. You don’t need layers and layers of filthy cloths to keep you warm. And you did not look like you are not getting enough food (that’s probably why you only asked for ice cream…). How about appreciate this! How about appreciate not freezing your butt off in a blizzard out on the street, like so many others have to worry about?

I admit, I’ve never been in your position. But let me tell you something: If I ever get there, I will not let myself get to the point where I scare little kids just because I want something…

I appreciate that I can eat several meals a day. I appreciate what we have a roof above our head and that we are healthy. I appreciate being able to give. And I would most probably still give and appreciate being able to give, if I would be in a different position from now.

Appreciation has nothing to do with where in life you are. And if you don’t believe me, check this out!

29 thoughts on “It’s Not My Fault You’re Homeless

  1. Hmmmm, Momma, that seems a little heavy-handed.
    If you never want your kids to be scared, you should move to Singapore. But then they’d have to stay here forever, because they wouldn’t survive in a real place.
    EJ x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I thought you were being satirical at first and then realised there was no reading between the lines. I agree with the comment that this was heavy-handed. Sometimes we have an initial reaction to something that needs to be thought through. Otherwise it perpetuates stereotyping and prevents us from working across our differences.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Sounds like he may have been mentally ill, to be honest. Which would explain the lack of understanding personal boundaries and social propriety (or impropriety, ast he case may be). It would also explain the homelessness. Very sad, actually. But I totally get how upsetting it is when someone scares your kids. Momma’s gotta do what Momma’s gotta do. πŸ™‚ We live in a broken world. xx Mother Hen

    Liked by 3 people

  4. You clearly had all reasons to be distraught, as the approach was heavy handed.
    In a situation of uncertainty you instinctively protect your kids. You cannot take risks. You did the right thing.
    We had a similar situation when my stepdaughter was 6 y/o but the man was mentally ill; and I suppose the behavior of this one denotes some of the same.

    The sad part of these types of events, is that it makes one label all homeless people as mean and dangerous; there is much more to be investigated about someone who lives in such inhuman conditions. Choice? A few ones do it, and there is always a dreadful story behind. Many others though, come from an even more dreadful context, and are just not as fortunate as most of us reading here.

    Is this a license to attack kids? No way. But we need not to lose our humanity and keep believing that unless people are mentally ill or a psychopath, people don’t go out to deliberately hurt others.

    Did you ever read Terri’s story about M and E on Write Out of the Darkness? It is the most remarkable story of generosity I have ever heard of in my life. It teaches us many lessons about not believing in appearances.
    http://writeoutofthedarkness.wordpress.com/category/m-e/

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The title irks me. It’s not your fault and he doesn’t know anything about your life and how much you can and are willing to give but to me, he sounded ill.

    You don’t know what happened that made him like so, it may had nothing to do with him being ungrateful. It may have not have been his fault for being homeless. The title just sounds selfish to me.
    Though I totally understand the anger for scaring your kids. I would have been uneasy about that too.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. When a man comes up to me… especially if my kids are with me… I already have my mama defenses up.

    Ask your question and then move along whatever the answer!

    I agree that he might have a mental issue BUT I also serve at a homeless shelter and there is an overall sense of entitlement and ungratefulness by those that come in off the street.

    NOW… the people who live at the shelter… who are working to restore their lives.. who are getting help for their addictions… who are hell bent on their children getting educated… the sense with them is a 180 degrees difference. They are polite… helpful… and appreciative.

    Homelessness is a hard issue… only God knows the heart of a man or woman but as humans we can only go by what we see. If someone asks me for money because they are hungry and instead I offer to by them dinner… and they turn that offer down… I don’t trust that hunger is their problem.

    If someone takes me up on the offer of food then I go the extra mile and offer to get them to the shelter in our city. If a person wants to restore their life… the shelter run by loving people are their for them if they truly want that help.

    Some homeless people don’t know what is offered in their city so us educating ourselves on what is available to them is very vital as well!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Looking at things from all three of the key perspectives has value in understanding the situation. From your perspective, your daughters and the person who demanded the ice cream cone. I don’t think it’s unexpected for a mother to defend her young or for a child who is still learning about life to look to her parents for protection. People who have less to feel sometimes feels jealousy and desire for equality in life.

    Taking a step back, I admire you for writing about how it felt at the moment. I know it’s easy for us to criticize but having been in tense situations before such as standing next to a cashier who was robbed by a trio of armed thugs, things can get pretty scary. What I’m saying is I think we benefit from trying to see things from the different perspectives. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: About The Chance To Re-Write… |

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