I know it is hard at the moment. Believe me, I’ve been there too! And I know you think nobody understands why. But I do. I know you are struggling. Struggling mainly with the pressure you put on yourself. Why do I know? Because I do!
Don’t worry and relax. You are doing a great job. Your baby is awesome and you are taking great care of him. He is such a sweetheart. No, you are not doing anything wrong. He is the way he is and he needs his cuddles. Don’t try to do what they tell you to do. Every mom and every baby is different. I know they try to tell you to follow certain rules. But believe me, the only rule you have to follow is: “Listen to yourself and your baby and believe in yourself!”
He is just a perfect little boy! You love him so much and everyone knows. He does too, believe me. It is okay to be exhausted, you were up a lot over the last 12 months. He will be a beautiful big boy one day. Helping you out whenever you need it. And so smart and just beautiful. He will make you proud. Very proud. Proud of him being the way he is.
I know how much you love your job and you actually have a perfect deal there. You get to spend so much time with your baby and still you can do the job you love so much. Just enjoy it now. Things will change. The dynamics will change and it will get pretty rough there. But you will get out of it okay. And there is more in your future, believe me!
You know what, this little baby boy will be so much faster than you one day. And the thing you wish for, you know that he has respect for nature and people? You will be surprised to see how much he respects all kind of animals. And how well he behaves around people. It will be amazing how animals react on him! You will see!
And although you don’t know it right now: He will be an amazing big brother to a beautiful little sister. I know right now, you can not even think of having another baby, as you love this boy so much. And I know you can not imagine being able to share this love with another child. To be there for another child the way you want to be there for him, without neglecting him or the other baby.
But believe me, it is possible and it is the most amazing feeling. You can love two kids without one missing out! You can! And the joy she will bring into your life! Stop trying to think about it, you can just not imagine it. She will light up every room with her smile, her giggles, the way she is.
Stop thinking about how to arrange the place you live in right now, which rooms to make into the kids rooms. As it will not matter at all!
Remember how much you loved Australia last time you were down there? Well, guess what: You will move there soon. Well, not that soon, so there is still plenty of time to do all the things you like so much here. But the day will come. And boy, it will be a challenge to sort out all the things you want to take along or leave. This time, please leave more behind, don’t even take half of what I took along. You will only get rid of it over there…
There will be some heartaches along the way, I am not lying. Getting to this second baby of yours will not be that easy. But it will be so totally worth it. And you know: Be nice with your husband too. He deserves it. He actually works his butt off for you and the baby right now. And he doesn’t know what is going on in your head if you don’t mention it to him. Stop exploding and start talking. Believe me, it is important! Because one day you will both sit there holding hands like teenagers and watch your two babies run along a beach giggling. And you will giggle too. You will sit there and watch the sunset together, happy to be a team still and happy about having such great kids.
Gosh, I know I am giving you so many advices here and this is probably the most important one: Stop listening to everyone around you. Only you know what is important for you and what makes you happy. Nobody else. Only you and your family can figure out how things work best for you guys. Don’t follow ideas other people have about how “it” should work. They don’t know! Only you do. And you figure it out. You will, believe me. You guys just need to talk about it and you will find the right way.
And to be honest: For all those people (well most of them) it is not about you! It is about what makes them happy and about what is perfect for them. It is about what they want. And believe me: It is not what you want!
So, yes, go your own way. Get out there, grow up! You did what you have to and it is enough. It is time to grow up, time to be yourself, time to do things the way you would do it. Be selfish in their eyes. By being selfish you actually grow up in this case and you finally turn into a real woman and a real mom. You finally turn into yourself! And this is what your family needs, you know. They need you and not a copy of someone else. So be yourself. It will be good!
If only you knew, how much adventure lies in your next future, how much of a challenge you will face soon and how much the move to Australia will change you and make you better. If only you knew how important it is to do this! If only you knew, what I know now. It would safe you many sleepless nights. And it would for sure make you smile so much more.
So relax. Take the ride and just go with it. And enjoy it! It will be good.
After the roller-coaster ride there will be plenty of time to relax and it will bring you plenty of beautiful moments. With your baby boy, with your husband and with a little beautiful princess.
Inspired by the Daily Prompt – Good Tidings