I am guilty of lying. Not just once, not twice. No, I used lies multiple times in my life. And so did you.
Yes, you lied. And I know you did. Would you like to know why I am so sure about it? Because we all lie. We all use lies on our journey. It just depends what kind of effect those lies have.
I don’t like lying and therefor my lies are not big ones. But it starts with the usual “Hello, how are you?” and my answer “I am fine, thank you.”
Very often, if it is a stranger, who asks me this question, my answer is a lie. Honestly: Why should I tell a total stranger that I have a shitty day? Why should I tell this stranger, that I just had an argument with someone I like, minutes before I got asked how I am? Why would I tell this stranger the truth? And: If I would tell this stranger the truth and would answer “Actually I feel like shit…”, how would that be perceived?
I often feel like there is this unwritten rule (or maybe it is actually written down somewhere) that you always answer with “I am fine, thank you”. So if you suddenly answer truthfully and either say “I feel bloody bad today” or “I had a shitty day so far” or “it is none of your business” or “why are you asking, you don’t really care anyway” or even with a “I feel absolutely great” would it still be considered a polite answer? I am not so sure about it. Maybe the “I feel great” one would but not the negative ones. Nobody wants to hear that you feel bad really, so you tend to lie about it. You lie about how you feel just to be polite, just to not be the party pooper.
I admit I also told other lies in my life. But I feel like none of them were bad ones. They were so called white lies. The ones that really don’t have a huge affect on anything. Lies that make other people feel better, you know.
The kind of lies I also tell my kids. Yes, I lie to my kids! Especially at the moment. I lie to them, when I tell them, that Santa will be here soon. I lie to them, when I tell them, that the Easter Bunny exist. I lie to them, when I tell them, that the Toothfairy was here. But why should I not! I want them to believe in something that we can not explain. And this world needs this little magic. This world needs some “feel good lies”. I kind of know that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Toothfairy and all of them are not real, still I don’t want to stop believing myself. I want them to be real. And maybe that is why I keep telling this little white lies.
Lying is not always wrong. In my book it depends what the reason for your lies are. If you lie to hide something, something that you did wrong, then I don’t think it is good. I think you need to face the issue and solve it. When you lie and your lie gets someone else in trouble, then it is not a good thing. You should never do that. Stand up for yourself and be honest about what you do or what you have done. Never make anybody else pay for your mistakes!
If you lie to make someone feel better, then it is kind of like telling a story. Like in a situation where you know that the truth would only hurt the other person. That you need to tell them a little story for them to be happy, for them to think that you fit their picture… Of course only to a point, where you don’t totally sell yourself.
I thought this will be an easy post. I thought it will be easy to explain what I think and which lies I believe are good and which ones are not. But it is not easy at all. It actually gets more and more complicated and difficult to explain.
I consider myself a straight forward person. But as I said, there are moments in which I feel a little lie is better than the truth. Situations where I tell a little story to make someone feel better. It is kind of telling a story about Santa. What I would never do is lying about something really important.
And I guess you always have to ask yourself the question: How would I feel if someone would tell me the lie I am about to tell somebody else? If you can answer, that it would not make you feel bad if you would find out, then I guess it is an okay lie to tell.
And as Mark Twain used to say: “If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything.”
As kids, we’re told, time and again, that lying is wrong. Do you believe that’s always true? In your book, are there any exceptions? – Sweet Little Lies, Daily Prompt