Enough Is Enough

When was the last time I felt ready to throw in the proverbial towel? When was the last time I had enough? Honestly, it actually happened pretty regularly for a long time. For way too long. First I felt strong and I thought I knew that if I face this person again or talk to this person I would be fine. But then during the encounter I suddenly realized that I started giving in. That the wall around me started crumbling. I found myself back in an old pattern. It hit me. It hit me hard. I felt bad. They managed to make me feel bad. Not only sad, but bad about myself, about my life, about decisions I’ve made. They managed to make me question myself. They managed to mess with my mind.

It’s that moment when all the expectations someone else has in you actually start getting to you. When you feel like you try so hard not to let it happen, to be strong and not to let it get to you. You feel like they put a heavy weight on your shoulder. A weight you don’t want to carry. A weight you should never have to carry. Something, that is not your baggage. But for whatever reason it happens. They manage getting to you and as much as you don’t want it to happen, it does. It hits you.

And you feel how this wall you tried to build around you in order to protect yourself is suddenly falling into pieces. And you realize that the expectations creep up on you. And in that very moment you suddenly feel like throwing in the towel. Like giving up, admitting that they are right. You feel like you are in the water and someone is trying to pull you down. And for a while you keep kicking and fighting it and then you reach the point where you just had enough. And then you start thinking about giving up. About just accepting their way and letting them pull you down into this abyss. You feel like throwing in the towel.

Oh how much I hate this feeling! Have you been there too? I think certain people have a talent. They have a talent to get to you. They know exactly how to get around this wall or how to go under or over it or how to even make it break. And no matter how much you feel prepared and ready for it, they somehow get to you. At least this was the case in my life with certain people.

Each and every time I prepared myself for an encounter, I told myself “enough is enough”! This time will be different. This time I am even better prepared than last time and I am over it. I know the way they will try to get to me and I will not let it happen. I have told myself this for so many times. And so many times I came out of it feeling like giving up again, happy for the fact that I was on my own again having time to recover. Happy to have my husband around to support me and pick up the pieces. Happy for having the chance to realize that throwing in the towel is not what I want to do.

So I take a deep breath and I am back on track again. I remind myself, that it is what they want. It’s not what I want. It’s their expectations and not mine. I would not stay true to myself if I would give up now. And I actually hear these words in my head: Enough is enough! They stepped over this line too often. Enough is enough! They have hurt me way too often. Enough is enough! They never respected me or tried to even see my point.

Enough is enough! I will not feel pressured anymore. Enough is enough! I will not let them get to me anymore. Enough is enough! I will not let their expectations slow me down anymore or even make me live a life which is not mine. Enough is enough! I will not let them make me sad or confused anymore. Enough is enough! I will not let them make me feel as if I have to throw in the towel.

It is my life. The way I chose to live it with the people I want in it. Enough is enough! It is time, finally, to not feel guilty about this anymore. So what do I do with this towel? I rather use it on the beach now than throwing it in. Because that is my life. A happy life. A life I choose to live and for that, I don’t need any explanation. I just need to do it.

towel

In response to the Daily Post – Daily Prompt: Enough Is Enough

22 thoughts on “Enough Is Enough

  1. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    Just a suggestion. Keep the towel get rid of the person that makes you feel like that. You are not obligated to have someone in your life that makes you feel less than what you are and what you are is something pretty terrific.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thanks for the reblog! I appreciate it! And yes you are right. But some people you can not get rid of that easy… I did find a good way though to manage it 😉

    Like

  3. Very well written. It reminds me of my relationship with my mother. My husband has encouraged me to be amused rather than frustrated, and that seems to help. I can stand back and pretend I’m watching someone else’s ridiculous interactions with her rather than my own.

    Liked by 2 people

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  5. I have had similar problems with people. These people are, whether I wish it or not, part of my life in a way. It used to be a miserable part of my life but I finally reached a point where I said Enough is Enough. And rather than continue to put up with the way they treated me and trying fruitlessly to handle interactions differently, trying not to feel bad, trying everything to live up to their expectations and trying to fit in to their lives – I finally stood up for myself or at least I drew a line in the sand. I realized that I did not need to fit into their lives, I did not need to be what they wanted. I had my own life and it was my choice on whether to let them be a part of it or not rather than the other way around. I didn’t have the courage back then to speak up and call them out on their mistreatment, instead I simply stopped taking their calls, stopped showing up to their events, avoided any interaction with them whatsoever. It was my silence and my absence that finally sent the message I had never been able to speak. And when they continued to call and invite me to events and request to be a part of events in my life and such things, when I was ready, I limited the amount of time I gave them and whenever anything happened that I didn’t like or anything that started to approach unnecessary criticism occurred – I left. It helped that I always had the full support of my husband. Now I have control over the interactions and they occur on my terms.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yep, was in that situation for more than twenty years with my in-laws – most of all my sister in-law. I was pushed to the end, ignored, manipulated and lied at. It is over because I said: Enough is enough!!! I earned the greatest respect from my mother in-law and my sister in-law has lost her domoination over me – because I simply don’t care. I am not in hatred. As long as everything is going along with myself I am fine. But I am not bowing anymore. Oh, I wrote a song about that: https://erikakind.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/not-anymore-18-9-cut-2-min.mp3

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So true, you’re all prepared and somewhere in the next encounter it starts all over again – the looping can drive you nuts. I think you’re on to something. It’s not the words we practice (though helpful ) but our mindset. Good for you! Now, excuse me – I think there are a few towels I need to shake out.

    Liked by 1 person

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