I wonder why it is always the people you think are the closest to you, who struggle the most with accepting who you really are? After writing one of my last posts, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And then I had some comments on my post that made me realize that I am actually not alone. How can it be, that people who should know you the best, don’t know you at all? Or at least it seems like it…
So I wonder if it is really the fact that they don’t know you, or if it is rather that they don’t like the person you are because it is not who they want you to be? And why is it so hard to accept a person for who this person is? I just don’t understand it. And I for sure hope I will never do the same.
I guess the longer you know someone, the more they think you fit in a picture they paint of you. But you probably don’t. Because you are you and you grow and develop and change. They have their expectations, as I have mentioned before. They expect you to do another job than the one you do, they expect you to not be happy with your life because they don’t see how you can be. They expect you to live another lifestyle than the one you choose to live. And it is all bullshit.
What I think is most annoying is when people tell you that they miss the old you. That they can not understand where the old you went and so on. Hey, the old me is still here. I was always there. But the old me did bend in all directions to fit into your picture where as the me today is not doing this anymore. And although realizing that you don’t like the me I am today, I will not change back to this old and weak me. I am who I am and I never felt so good about it.
It has nothing to do with the outside influences. I only “grew up”, I only discovered the person I want to be. The person I can truly say yes to. And it doesn’t bother me anymore that other people think it’s not real. It is real. It is like breaking out of a golden cage and finally being able to fly. Finally being able to spread those wings and enjoy the feeling.
Being myself is definitely good enough. For me and for the people who truly love me.