I wonder why it is always the people you think are the closest to you, who struggle the most with accepting who you really are? After writing one of my last posts, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And then I had some comments on my post that made me realize that I am actually not alone. How can it be, that people who should know you the best, don’t know you at all? Or at least it seems like it…
So I wonder if it is really the fact that they don’t know you, or if it is rather that they don’t like the person you are because it is not who they want you to be? And why is it so hard to accept a person for who this person is? I just don’t understand it. And I for sure hope I will never do the same.
I guess the longer you know someone, the more they think you fit in a picture they paint of you. But you probably don’t. Because you are you and you grow and develop and change. They have their expectations, as I have mentioned before. They expect you to do another job than the one you do, they expect you to not be happy with your life because they don’t see how you can be. They expect you to live another lifestyle than the one you choose to live. And it is all bullshit.
What I think is most annoying is when people tell you that they miss the old you. That they can not understand where the old you went and so on. Hey, the old me is still here. I was always there. But the old me did bend in all directions to fit into your picture where as the me today is not doing this anymore. And although realizing that you don’t like the me I am today, I will not change back to this old and weak me. I am who I am and I never felt so good about it.
It has nothing to do with the outside influences. I only “grew up”, I only discovered the person I want to be. The person I can truly say yes to. And it doesn’t bother me anymore that other people think it’s not real. It is real. It is like breaking out of a golden cage and finally being able to fly. Finally being able to spread those wings and enjoy the feeling.
Being myself is definitely good enough. For me and for the people who truly love me.
This was one of the reasons we originally moved away in 2007, as we were living our lives for other people and weren’t allowed to have our own. We discovered this was the same where we moved to, people only wanted to know us for what we could do for them, and if we were unable to comply with their demands or plans for us, we were dropped like hot potatoes. Our attitude has changed somewhat, but we are still the same people. People can like us or not, it’s their choice but we don’t base friendships on brownie points and accept others as they are with no hidden agenda.
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Isn’t it crazy??? What you just said sounds so familiar to me…
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You are enough. That’s all. That’s the most difficult thing to start believing about yourself, for anyone. And once we all start doing it, whatever others think or say will not matter. Good luck on the journey of self-acceptance. I’m on one myself and it is a bumpy ride. I hope I get there some day.
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We will get there.
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Mark Twain said: ‘be yourself, everyone else is already taken.’.
You’re doing fine.
In fact, they have an issue, not you. An issue you’d better take no ownership for and pay no attention to, anymore. There are times when we cannot understand other people’s behaviors. Guess what, most likely they can’t either, so the best we can do is to not allow them to drag us down with them.
You know who you are and are happy with yourself. That’s a great achievement. Enjoy it.
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That helps so much, Lucile! Thank you for that!
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She’s right. It’s their problem, not yours.
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Thanks. It’s true.
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You are more than welcome!
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I love this! Ever since I was a child I always tried hard to be the person others around me wanted to be. Of course the ‘me’ was always someone else depending on who I was with. And in the end I realised that it’s not only them who don’t know the real me but me too, and I got sad. And now I’m struggling finding out who I am, that’s why I started blogging. Though, I have to admit that with the increasing number of followers and likes almost makes me feel the same. I have lots of drafts yet I feel like I’m out of inspiration. This is really hard and can be like hell. Thanks for this post, it’s really relieving to know that I’m not the only one.
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I think that you know who you are deep inside. I always did. But I feared going down that path because I did not want to disappoint others…
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That’s it. I am afraid too. Pretty much actually. I’ve realised recently that the ‘child-me’ knew several stuff better than the current, bit more experienced me. It is really interesting.
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Being you IS good enough. Those that do truly love you do so because of who you are. If others can’t accept the real you, then they are the ones that need to deal with it, not you. It’s their loss.
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I know. Atill gets to you every now and then.
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Yes I know. It hurts.
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Years ago, I used to say ‘I love me because nobody else does’. When I think back to those bleak days, I feel sadder now than I did at the time. And I feel sad that there are people out there who still feel that way.
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I guess it’s good that we changed…
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I feel sad as well reading that. How awful to feel that nobody loves you, so you had better love yourself. It is awful that there are others that feel that way about themselves; I’m glad though that you are no longer one of them.
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Maybe being myself is not good enough, but that will have to do. After all, I live not to fulfill anybody’s expectation anyway. This is me, and this is my life. Good or bad, I’m the one who live it, not anybody else.
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Is it good enough for you? Are you happy with who you are? I am, you know. And it makes me angry that certain people question that…
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It’s the best for me.
And what you are is the best for you. Never forget that.
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And that is why I love being here with all of you!
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BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Amen.
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Thanks!!!
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“I am who I am and I never felt so good about it.” That is the essence and the only thing that counts. We are living for living our life and for living other people’s life and fit in a personalitiy they prefer. To be happy and proud to be the persons and at the places we are today is one of the profoundest insights. The basement of happiness and success.
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Thank you :/)
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It amazes me sometimes how people that know us the longest may no us the least- and vice versa… as if our initial impressions stay and can make it hard to see when change happens.
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Exactely…
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LOL! I loved your observations! I just said to my Ron the other day, “How come everyone else’s kids like me, and my own do not?” A tad dramatic, but there is some truth to the question. I think you hit it straight on. We are not what they want us to be. I always get along with everyone except my real family! 😀
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Haha… Seems like everyone is in the same boat…
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Thanks 🙂
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