Our Words, Our Children

IMG_7052There is something that makes me truly mad. It’s when I hear parents talk down to their kids. When they talk to their children as if they are worthless or idiots. I wonder how you can do this. How you can let yourself go so badly that you take away the one thing your child will need in life: Self confidence.

How can you be so selfish to stomp all over your flesh and blood, even if it is only verbally? How can you call your child “little shit”, “pisser” or “this one” or “this idiot”? How can you make your child feel unworthy of your company? Why would you call your child “wimp”? What makes parents feel they have the right to do this?

When I hear something like this I freeze. I so want to say something, do something, make them realize how much damage they do. The problem is, that I can’t believe my ears. I can’t believe that I really heard what I heard. I start asking myself if they really said that. And by the time I know that I heard right, it’s too late.

I watched a little boy, maybe 4 years old, hurt himself. He was walking in front of his dad and was looking back to his dad, smiling at him and when he turned around it was too late for him to see the pole in front of him and he hit it. He hit it hard. He almost fell over backwards and started crying. But instead of going over there and hugging his child, the father started yelling at him and telling him off for being “such an idiot” for hitting the pole, a “stupid cry baby” and told him to “finally toughen up”. 4 years old… Why?

Why would you say such a thing when your child is hurt? What triggers such a reaction? And more important: What does that trigger in a child’s mind?

If you tell your child often enough that she or he is a wimp, an idiot, a cry baby, a pisser or a little shit, this child will probably start believing it. This child will grow up, thinking he or she is an idiot, is stupid, ugly, lame, a loser, a wimp, a little shit, a pisser, a little fuck or simply worthless. What will they turn into? A loser? A victim? A bully? A psycho? A lonely person? Or will they find a way to realize that they are worth something, despite what their parents called them?

I wish people would realize how important it is to treat your children with respect and love. The same respect and love you expect from them. The same respect and love you expect from others. Different people seem to have different approaches to raising children, I am aware of that. I wonder though, why so many seem to think it has to be the rough way… How about nurturing them? Nurture: Cherish, care and protect, help and encourage! What is wrong with that?

41 thoughts on “Our Words, Our Children

  1. We do what we know. We know what we learned. It’s ugly but true. Thank you for the reminder. It makes me see red when I see/hear this ‘abuse’ of children.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Words can so much make or break a person, but most particularly when that person is a pliable young child. You really hit it on the head. There are times when I can’t believe my ears, and is question, “surely that wasn’t what was said”.
    Thank you for sharing this very important post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I wish more people knew what you all know about children. They are people too and should be respected as such. Sadly some people do not see children as anything but property. Someone to take stress out on. Thank you for caring and sharing. I would like to repost if I may. πŸ˜₯

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Probably that is what that Dad had happen to him when he was 4 years old and started crying…Parents copy their parents until they wake up and decide to change their family tree. Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Sandra!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My daughter and I were just talking about this today. She is having a birthday party for my grandson who will be five next week. There were certain kids on the list that she said she almost hoped would not come because of their parents. She wants their kids there, just not them. And it’s because of the way they speak to their kids and yell at them when dropping off and picking up at pre-school. It does make such a huge difference. I know I cringed the other day when I read a blog and a woman referred to her two year old as “the little shit”. I could never even think of calling my child anything like that. It doesn’t matter if the woman said it in front of her child. It’s the attitude that matters. It’s the frame of mind.

    Liked by 1 person

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