Hey You!

Why are you looking at me like this? Why are you so super critical? Who do you think you are? Now let me tell you something: I can see the disgust in your eyes. And I can see how you scan my body. Now I ask you: What is wrong with you?

Illustration of a Thin Female Standing in Front of a Mirror and Seeing a Plump Girl in the ReflectioLet me tell you something! I am no longer 20 or 25 or 30. Nope. Those numbers have past. My skin is not as fresh as it was back then, but it is still soft and marvelous. My face is not as even as it used to be, but all those little lines are lines of happiness. They are the sign of hours and hours of giggles, laughter and smiles. Happy moments with my friends and my family and I wear them with pride.

I see how you look at my boobs, my belly, my butt. Stopt it! My boobs fed two children and provided me with the most amazing intimate moments with them. They are totally allowed to hang a little lower than 20 years ago. And by saying this, I also want to point out, that I am pretty happy with them still!

My belly is not as flat as the ones on the girls in the magazine but hey, it is a work in progress and under the soft cover I hide my little six pack. Two kids and no stretch marks! So what is your issue?

I totally see why you look at my butt and my legs like this. I would be jealous too. No cellulite and they look pretty good. So good that I still can rock shorts and short skirts. So what is the issue here?

Stop being so critical! What you see here is a woman heading towards her mid 40’s, a mom of two, who has every reason to be happy with what she sees in the mirror. So listen to me, woman in the mirror, stop being like this! Be happy with what you see! Be proud with who you are! You have every reason to!

I catch myself regularly checking my body out, thinking how much it has changed over the years. I look at certain parts and think to myself how many women might consider doing something about it. Something I would never do. I believe in aging naturally. I am willing to put effort in my aging body but no botox or other artificial stuff. It is just not who I am. Sometimes it gets to me though. Sometimes I realize the changes in my body. I realize that I am no longer the 20 something year old. And I start looking at myself in a more critical way.

I guess it’s something we all do, right? We are critical about our appearance and only a few of us actually manage to feel 100% comfortable in their skin (where are you? If you are one of them, if you always and I mean ALWAYS feel 100% comfortable in your skin, please let me know!), all the others have their little issues. Be it the grey hair, the saggy boobs, the muffin top, stretch marks, cellulite on butt or legs, veins, fluid retention in your limbs or whatever. And we all have things we can handle better and things we really struggle with.

For me it was always my tummy. I always (yes always) felt my tummy should be flatter. It got better after a sports teacher once told a group of us girls that women, who are fit and work on their abs don’t have a flat tummy. So that helped for a while, as I was doing a lot of sports back then. But it came back to me. Especially after having had my first baby, it really hit me.

I did not loose the baby weight as fast as I would have wished for. And it all was stuck around my waist. I sort of managed until the day when someone I used to work with asked me how far in my second pregnancy I already was. I only just had my baby 3 months prior… It really hit me hard. I actually often got asked if I am pregnant again. Just because of my tummy. And of course it does not help you feel better.

I am now at a point where I know how to deal with it and that my tummy is the one part of my body which needs the most work. And I actually have build a friendship with it. It is important that we come to terms with what we don’t like. It is us after all. Every single part of it is what defines us. My issue is only a small one and one that I have the power to change. So I am lucky. I just feel that there is so much pressure from the outside on every single one of us.

We open a magazine and there are pictures of celebrities who just had a baby and look as if they were never even pregnant in the first place. In moments like this it is difficult to remind yourself that there is photoshop, that they can hire a personal trainer 24/7 and a nutritionist and a nanny. It is difficult to also be aware of the fact, that some just also bounce back in a different way. It is not that we are not perfect! It is not that we are not amazing! It is not that we are lazy! It is not that we are not beautiful or sexy!

We are unique. And we bounce back in our own unique way and time. Our bodies are unique and we should give this more credit. We are the person our husbands fell in love with. We are the moms our kids love like crazy. We are perfect. We are amazing. We are busy. We are beautiful and we are sexy! Start with the woman in the mirror and start now. It is time that we see it and embrace it and love us the way our loved once do: Unconditionally!

24 thoughts on “Hey You!

  1. Babes, I am SO with you! The only alternative to aging is death, & as long as we’re lucky enough to be alive we’re all heading in the same direction. Might as well find ways of being comfortable with that, rather than dreading it, amidst pressure to look eternally youthful from media images that are totes fake anyway!
    You have a lovely weekend.
    EJ x

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I do not think you will ever find someone who is 100% happy in their skin! I also hate my tummy. It is my biggest bugbear but I am working on it too. I think you have made some great points here. We should embrace the fact that we are aging without any major problems! So what if we have got saggy boobs or a big bum , as long as we are healthy, we should be grateful!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. How right you are…and I think even the skinniest little waif will have some issue with their body.
    I’m a typical UK size 12…always have been, always will be…I’d love to be smaller but my hips just won’t allow it. I sit and converse with that woman in the mirror everyday and if it’s not my body she’s criticising, it’s my aging head. I’ve just learnt to tell her to shut up occasionally now 🙂
    I was a proper hefty little pudding after my first baby…and I quite often look at those pictures now when I’m feeling fat, to remind myself that I’m just ok as I am. We all need to tell the devilish figure in the mirror to ‘do one’ every now and again 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I hated my belly until my son, my fourth child, decided that he loved my belly. It is his favorite to cuddle up to. That made me look at things in a whole new way. I don’t care that Khloe Kardashian is rocking flat abs or that the tennis playing, country club ladies in my neighborhood complain about their almost non-existent gut. I love other people without regard to their bodies, I’m sure that is reciprocated. And I love my belly.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes we all age differently. I often look in the mirror and go “who is that?” Because in my minds eye i am still that young skinny 18 year old so do a double take when i realize i am not 18 but soon to be 60. The thing is even with pain and troubles and strife i am and always will be that 18 year old only so much happier with my state of mind

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Ladeee Luuuuuv | Diary of an Expat Somebody

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