Feeling Numb

Posted on by under Life15

Last week a 17 year old girl got murdered in one of Melbourne’s suburbs. The murderer handed himself into police after he… wait for it… raped a woman in a Christian bookshop… But that was not all…

Not only did he stab this young girl to death, raped this woman but he also (all apparently in a 24 hour window) stole a mobile phone and attempted a carjacking of an elderly man. And when in the police car he flicks the finger…

So here we are. A 17 year old schoolgirl who just wanted to have a peaceful walk in a park is no longer amongst us. The killer sits (at this stage) behind bars. It has been said by police that parks are not safe for women.

And I wonder… I wonder for how long this guy will sit behind bar. I wonder when he will be released, either on parole or maybe given a little break from prison. I wonder how long until he goes out there and abuses or kills again.

And while I sit here and wonder about him, I also think of the girls family…

How can you possibly deal with something like this? How can deal with the fact that your girl is no longer here, her life taken by a crazy person, who seems to not have any remorse. A person who was know to the police before. How can you possible deal with the fact, that he will one day be out again, walking around, enjoying his peace, while your girl can’t anymore. While she is gone.

How can you forgive? Can you forgive? Should you forgive?

How can you accept the fact that the only thing you can do is watch in court and accept the decision of the jury and the judge? How can you possibly deal with that? Over the last weeks, months and years too many of those criminals were out of prison too soon. Too many got out and did it all over again, causing another family and shear unbearable loss.

Second chances… I don’t understand… I do understand… I don’t know anymore what to think about it… All those women, those girls, those kids, all of them, they don’t get a second chance. They are gone. Their lives have been taken. Their last moments in this world were filled with panic and pain. And the people who caused it get a second, third, fourth, fifth and so on chance.

I feel numb. And I am not even personally involved. But it makes me feel numb to say the least.

So this is to all the women, girls, kids, who never got a second chance. To all those women whose names were the headlines of the media for days until they slowly but surely disappeared. You are not forgotten. I mention two names here. If you like and remember other women or men or girls or boys, feel free to put their names in the comments.

I hope one day, pedophiles, rapists and murderers will stay behind bars forever…

This is for you:

Jill Meagher
Masa Vukovic
Adeline M. (the Swiss therapeutic who was sent out to drive the rapist and murderer to his therapeutic horseback riding… she was sent on her own… with a repetitive offender… I wonder what the responsible people were thinking…)

45 thoughts on “Feeling Numb”

  3. Evil. Not crazy, evil. There is a difference. Being a sociopath isn’t necessarily a mental illness. The person is a monster, and should be treated as such.

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  4. I was actually driving to work thinking similar thoughts inspired by someone I knew who committed murder-suicide. I will write that post, but it will probably take me days to organize my thoughts before I can write a word. I feel more resolved to do so now, reading your post. And so sad, and forever full of unanswerable questions.

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  6. And the trauma he has wrought on people is never ending. It isn’t over with what he did because his actions are going to be far and ever reaching for as long as loved ones are alive and suffering.

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  8. hi, as promised, I’ve started following you and came to see what you were writing about, and am blown away by this blog – and I’m in the UK and had never heard of this case – I don’t have words for this – but the awful phrase that is insisting to be written is “its criminal”! Not just the act of absolute violence, but that he was ever allowed to roam the streets. My condolences to the family – families. After something like 7 years, another strange case in the UK of a woman who disappeared whilst on her way to work, has possibly been solved and someone has finally been arrested today.

    It does happen everywhere, but please don’t change your way of life out of fear – that is criminal too!

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  9. I can’t put a name in the comments because of confidentiality reasons, but when I worked at a domestic violence shelter I had a client return to her boyfriend because ‘he’s changed,’ and two weeks later her name was in the paper. She had been found murdered. Fortunately, her two-year-old had been found where he was locked in a closet and survived the attack (I like to think that he didn’t hear it either, but I’m sure he did).

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  10. Wonderful thought provoking post, I have very similar views. there are way to many taken too soon, I can never understand why someone would do such a thing. The punishment though really should fit the crime and not be let off lightly with often what are soft sentences. There was a case several years ago now near where I live with a child, Milly Dowler I do not know how people cope after loosing loved ones in such awful circumstances!

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  11. Sometimes, it’s difficult to trust our justice system since it has so many flaws and no one wanted to admit it and take actions. However, even if those lowlives somehow escaped the clutches of our laws, they will not escape from the laws of the Lord.

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  13. sad, but it happens all over too. agency to choose always comes with good and bad consequences. thank goodness we have good sense to make the right choices; others aren’t so fortunate to be reared to use their agency to do good. sad.

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  14. Stories like this get me every time. Sadly, too many names, if only I can write all of them. It’s one of the most unfair things in life — women and girls get violated in this manner. What frustrates me even more is when I read about reactions that shame/blame the victims. Did she provoke it? Did she imply consent (to the rape)? Did she do this, do that? She deserved it, she’s slutty. (this one of the worst things said) The focus is on the victim. The burden of proof, on the victim. This is just one of the reasons why VAW is a very personal advocacy for me. Something has to be done. Those girls should never be forgotten and overshadowed by new sets of girls.

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  15. i agree with you. rapists, pedophiles and people who murder–the one caveat about people who murder is this: if the murderer has a mental illness and has tried to enter treatment and was denied access to treatment then I don’t consider that person the culprit. I rarely mention this directly, but my Mother was murdered when I was in my late 20’s. The guy who killed her was dumped in the street with a bag of pills even though he clearly said he felt he was going to lose control. This is the source of much of my advocacy on the issue of the homeless mentally ill. He was ill and he was dumped and he became psychotic and my Mother got in the way. She wasn’t the best Mother but she did not deserve the death she had. This guy wasn’t perfect but he did everything he could to make the system aware that he was a danger. In this instance I blamed his doctors and those politicians that
    decided to make it impossible for people who are a danger to themselves and others to enter treatment.

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      • Thank you Her death is not something I can write about except in the moment.
        On some level I’ve never fully processed it and in this sense my DID may be something of a blessing.

        One thing I do know is that a murder takes more than one life.

        The entire family suffers and some of the family members never recover.

        My Mother’s murder destroyed my sister.

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      • It’s life..it happened. At least I’m not the Mother or Father of that poor murdered child that you mentioned in your post.

        If it does turn out, as it so often does, that the guy who did this had a brain disease that compromised impulse control, if it does turn out that he told people who did nothing; then we should turn our wrath on those people. But if it turns out otherwise, that he was just some decadent sadist with no respect for life; then I hope he is locked away for the rest of his days.

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  16. Thank you for sharing this on my blog. You’re deep with passion and right to have it on a story like this. It’s heart breaking to read things like this but we need to know. In this situation I would strongly promote capital punishment. You hurt a child, woman, murder someone like this, you die. An eye for an eye in my heart.

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