When I shared this post the other day I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about what social network can do to you. But most of all I couldn’t stop thinking about rape, and the multiple issues with rape.
And here are my thoughts:
When a woman gets raped this is what she has to deal with:
Did you ask for it?
Did you do anything that would have invited him?
Did you dress provocative?Were you drunk?
Did you say no?
Did you clearly state that you don’t want this to happen?
Maybe he could have misunderstood you?
Did you act provocative?
Are you sure you did not ask for it?
Did you look at him in an inviting way?
Why didn’t you fight back?
Are you sure you did not want it?
This is what a guy has to deal with:
Are you sure you did not want it?
Are you sure you did not provoke it?
Are you sure you said no?
Maybe there was a misunderstanding?
Were you drunk?
Why did you not fight back?
I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten heaps…
But here is the point:
Nobody has the right to force anything on anybody! Not on girls, not on boys, not on women not on men! Nobody has the right to take what they want without consent.
No matter how short the skirt, no matter how much skin you see: It’s not an invitation to do whatever you want. In the end it does not matter how people dress. Actually you should be able to walk around naked without anybody harming you (of course there are other issues with that, but I hope you get my point).
It’s in the rapist head! And no matter if the victim wears the most unattractive, baggiest clothes ever, the offender will find a reason why the offender felt provoked, sexually provoked.
No means no! A body never belongs to someone else but the soul that lives in it! You can’t take, what you want, just because you feel you should have it, just because you want it!
A girl looked sexy in her school uniform? And that provoked you? A guy looked hot in his shorts and shirt? And that made you horny? Keep it in your pants! Just because something makes you hot, doesn’t mean you can simply go get it!
But I guess we all know that. And sex offenders are just wired in a different way, unfortunately. What shocks me more, what makes me sad, mad, angry, is that after the victim had to go through all of what happened to her or him, there are all those questions to be answered. And you know what? This shouldn’t be the case!
Someone took your body without your consent!
Why is it, that a victim has to explain why she or he dressed in a certain way? Why does a victim have to explain why she or he acted in a certain way?
In the end, it doesn’t matter how someone walks, talks, looks, dresses, they will find a reason to take what they want!
And what about this stupid “why didn’t you fight back” or “did you try to fight back” questions? Seriously? Everyone would fight back if they would feel like having a chance! But maybe the victim was too scared, maybe the victim was too threatened or just too weak to fight back! How about that?
So what’s the issue with rape? The issue with rape is, that it’s not over for the victims after it’s physically done!
There are still people out there who believe in the good in every person and who don’t expect someone to go crazy. There are people out there who don’t see a wolf in every sheep. And that is a good thing. Never make them feel bad for doing this!
In asking questions like this, you make them feel bad. You even make them feel guilty. And in my eyes, that doesn’t make you the best person either…