What a emotional story. Although I wish there would be a happy end to it (which I would love so much more), I love the way you show your emotions in it. The love you two shared until that moment, how close you were. Thank you so much, Schattenengel, for sharing your story with me.
I am sitting against the large rock neither paying attention to the names engraved on it nor the stories they could have told if they haven’t died.
The scenery unfolding right in front of me is beautiful – which is probably an understatement. The place itself is aglow with its special energy.
But even that can’t enlighten my mood right now.
I feel a wet droplet touching my arms. One wet drop which isn’t able to loosen the iron grip I had around my knees, around myself.
Curled up into myself. Like a prisoner. Like a protective shield.
My mouth moves on its own will. Against my own. I wouldn’t want to voice your name right now.
That would be like calling for you, like wanting you to come here for me….
But that’s not what I want, is it?
A second tear falls keeping the other company so it won’t be alone anymore.
And I wish I was that other tear.
A third tear falls. I remember that we once sat here. A soft blanket underneath us. A little basket in between the both of us revealing the soft textured fruit. Strawberries.
One of which found its way in my mouth. And managed to halfway hang freely outside of it since the fruit was too large as it seems.
In that moment it wasn’t though because you leaned over and closed your mouth over the second half sealing our lips together.
A fourth tear falls.
We were sprawled out across my couch entangled into one another. The TV showing an episode of the criminal series castle which we often watched together. Me being particularly fond of the adventurous writer and you of the persistent detective.
I shifted positions rather clumsily to properly look at you while talking. It ended up into an unintended (but really passionate) kiss.
A fifth tear falls. You were playing a video game on your computer when I came in. You asked if I wanted to join you. I shrugged and smiled sitting in your lap as if it was the most obvious thing to do. And it felt like that.
A sixth tear falls. We were huddled close in an embrace on your bed. Neither of us moving apart. Both of us breathing in perfect sync.
A seventh tear falls. “Sail Away” sounded from your radio letting my heart beat as if it was our first kiss again. The kiss was just as special but not the first and I hoped for it not to be the last either.
An eighth tear falls. And a ninth tear and a tenth soon followed.
Even though the memories of us breaking up three times honestly doesn’t hurt nearly as much as all the other memories.
I let the tears fall. Remember how much I thought this story would have a happy ending.
And I wish it could still have one – but it can’t. It never will.
That’s what I cry for.