Fate Or You? Who’s In Charge Of Your Destiny?

Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?

For sure a question I often think about. To what point can the way you think, the way you act, the things you believe in actually influence your destiny? And how much of it is fate?

I just finished reading a really thought provoking post on Erika Kind’s blog. Lot’s of food for thoughts combined with the Daily Prompt. All of this actually makes me struggle to start this post as I’m not too sure about where to go first and not to be too confusing. Please excuse me if I will repeat myself in this post over and over again and also if it suddenly gets a bit confusing. I really try to stay on track. This prompt, this question, is very close to my heart. It’s something I think about over and over again.

Let me tell you what I came up with for now: It’s a combination of both. And it’s very important to be aware of this.

There are lots and lots of mental coaches out there. Tons of inspirational books and programs that are meant to help people have a more positive outlook on life and therefor achieving their goals in general or quicker. I get it and I totally agree with the idea that if you are positive and have a positive and driven outlook on life, you will achieve a lot.

But what about the place you start off? It’s something you can’t really influence, right? I just had a conversation with my son about how lucky we are. How lucky we are to live in a good country, a war free country, a peaceful country. How lucky we are to have a chance to get a good education, for being able to go to school (or being home-schooled). How lucky we are for having a good health system in place. How lucky we are for having had a good start into life.

There are others out there that are not as lucky.

You can’t choose which country you are born into. You can’t choose the political situation of the country you are born in. You can’t choose the financial situation which you are born into. It’s all fate, isn’t it? You can’t choose if you get sick, if someone close to you gets sick. You can’t choose the way your parent raise you, what they teach you. So for a long time you are totally in control of someone and something you can not control.

It’s fate.

Basically the “tools” you get to build your life can’t be controlled by you. It’s all “given” to you. The “tools” and let’s call it your first “workshop” are not chosen by you. When explaining it to my kids I tell them that we come into this life carrying a little backpack. In this backpack are the “tools” we’ve been given to use in our life. The place and situation you are born into is your “workshop”.

What you’ve been given and where and in what situation you start off is all given by fate. Nothing you can do about it. But then it starts. The tables turn. You grow into a independent person and you can make your own decisions. Suddenly it’s up to you how to use your “tools” and if you want to stay in that “workshop” or if you want to move on to a better one or one that suits you better. You can decide if the “tools” you’ve been given are enough or if you need additional ones and you can decide if the “tools” you have need some improvement.

That’s when you start controlling your own destiny.

Fate and controlling your own destiny kind of go hand in hand if you let them. Accept where you are coming from and the situation that surrounds you. Because that is something you can’t change. What you can influence is how you go forward and what’s ahead of you by choosing wisely what to make of your situation, your “workshop”, and how to highlight and showcase your best abilities, your “tools”. Once you accept that the place you start from and your initial abilities are fate and have nothing to do with who you can be and only define you to a certain degree, you can move forward. You can fine-polish your life, your abilities, your personalities.

You can control your destiny.

Inspired by the Daily Post Daily Prompt – Que Sera Sera