Fate Or You? Who’s In Charge Of Your Destiny?

Perfect Day7Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?

For sure a question I often think about. To what point can the way you think, the way you act, the things you believe in actually influence your destiny? And how much of it is fate?

I just finished reading a really thought provoking post on Erika Kind’s blog. Lot’s of food for thoughts combined with the Daily Prompt. All of this actually makes me struggle to start this post as I’m not too sure about where to go first and not to be too confusing. Please excuse me if I will repeat myself in this post over and over again and also if it suddenly gets a bit confusing. I really try to stay on track. This prompt, this question, is very close to my heart. It’s something I think about over and over again.

Let me tell you what I came up with for now: It’s a combination of both. And it’s very important to be aware of this.

There are lots and lots of mental coaches out there. Tons of inspirational books and programs that are meant to help people have a more positive outlook on life and therefor achieving their goals in general or quicker. I get it and I totally agree with the idea that if you are positive and have a positive and driven outlook on life, you will achieve a lot.

But what about the place you start off? It’s something you can’t really influence, right? I just had a conversation with my son about how lucky we are. How lucky we are to live in a good country, a war free country, a peaceful country. How lucky we are to have a chance to get a good education, for being able to go to school (or being home-schooled). How lucky we are for having a good health system in place. How lucky we are for having had a good start into life.

There are others out there that are not as lucky.

You can’t choose which country you are born into. You can’t choose the political situation of the country you are born in. You can’t choose the financial situation which you are born into. It’s all fate, isn’t it? You can’t choose if you get sick, if someone close to you gets sick. You can’t choose the way your parent raise you, what they teach you. So for a long time you are totally in control of someone and something you can not control.

It’s fate.

Basically the “tools” you get to build your life can’t be controlled by you. It’s all “given” to you. The “tools” and let’s call it your first “workshop” are not chosen by you. When explaining it to my kids I tell them that we come into this life carrying a little backpack. In this backpack are the “tools” we’ve been given to use in our life. The place and situation you are born into is your “workshop”.

What you’ve been given and where and in what situation you start off is all given by fate. Nothing you can do about it. But then it starts. The tables turn. You grow into a independent person and you can make your own decisions. Suddenly it’s up to you how to use your “tools” and if you want to stay in that “workshop” or if you want to move on to a better one or one that suits you better. You can decide if the “tools” you’ve been given are enough or if you need additional ones and you can decide if the “tools” you have need some improvement.

That’s when you start controlling your own destiny.

Fate and controlling your own destiny kind of go hand in hand if you let them. Accept where you are coming from and the situation that surrounds you. Because that is something you can’t change. What you can influence is how you go forward and what’s ahead of you by choosing wisely what to make of your situation, your “workshop”, and how to highlight and showcase your best abilities, your “tools”. Once you accept that the place you start from and your initial abilities are fate and have nothing to do with who you can be and only define you to a certain degree, you can move forward. You can fine-polish your life, your abilities, your personalities.

You can control your destiny.

Inspired by the Daily Post Daily Prompt – Que Sera Sera

30 thoughts on “Fate Or You? Who’s In Charge Of Your Destiny?

  1. It’s a good read. πŸ™‚
    Sages say you should completely accept what you can’t change.
    You should work for what needs to be changed.

    Acceptance opens portal to eternity.

    Anand πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That is amazing. I see it exactly the same way. Awesome! I think I even did a post about that a while back. Anyway. Fate to me are the destinations, the crucial happenings in our life which are simply meant to be, come what may. And destiny is the path we choose to walk from one to the other. Destiny to me is the way how we deal with fate. That means destiny is under our control. I found the post in case you are interested: https://erikakind.wordpress.com/2014/11/10/reincarnation-and-karma/

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a great way to put this. We may not always be in control of which toolbox we get, but we can certainly control how we use those tools. Like you, I believe that it’s half and half. Some things are out of our control and other things we have complete control over. Our destiny will move us ahead without our help, but we can change it too if we wish to do so. That’s a scary thought though. I think we need to be careful about what we force to change. Maybe our path is going straight, but then we force the hand of destiny and it turns into a winding slope downward.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. How courageous of you to have entered this subject!! Kudos to you for that!!! I will make my opinion very short (at least I will try) First of all let me tell you I agree with the basis of everything you have said about fate, about tools, about social and economical environenment. We can say for sure that it doesn’t matter where you come from, you can become a doctor or a president even if you are born in a slum and you can also become a junky handpandling on the streets even if you come from a rich country, a rich family, went tothe best schools, had the nicest parents. It’s all a matter of making right decisions, have faith in yourself, in my case, is a very important matter. One has to have faith, one has to do everything he can to acquire and maintain it for the rest will never come. One has to do the leap of faith it takes at one time or another to be who you really want to be but then again, you may not succeed the way you wanted which brings out the question ”Do you know what you really want out of life?”. So I would say that to me fate is a question of knowing what you want to do, get your priorities in life bstraight as soon as possible so that you will not loose time acuqiring tools that you do not really need while you could be spending your time and efforts where they are really needed. Then again there are ”the others” and ”life”. I am afraid that the only thing I do not agree with you is your last sentence saying that : ”You can control your destiny.”. The way you said it after all the things you said before most definitely bring out a screaming ”YES WE CAN!!” but I would also say that in the end, one has to be humble and say that all we can REALLY do is to put the ODDS on our side for one never know what will happen when you interract with the ”others” and ”life”. I once heard a saying: ”We never know the ultimate goal of our existence until we have taken our last breath on this earth”. It may seem far fetched but when I really think about it, it makes perfect sense tome. Maybe I will give al my life to study to become a doctor, fail, try again, fail again, become a teacher be happy with it and think I have found my purpose in life and then one morning, at 55 years old, I’m retired and I save a kids life that would have been hit by a bus but the bus doesn’t miss me and I die. So my purpose in life I would say that all I have done before that day is of little significance (let’s say I didn,t have any kids) compare to saving that kids life!!! Another saying comes to mind: ”A tree is best measured when its down”. You know all I have said doesn’t change the fact that all you said was totally dead on but I would just add that one never knows what ”life” has in store for us and that it comes down to making sure we make sure the odds are on our side, do our best and pray for the rest. I hope I didn,t seem to ..pedant…? God I hope not because it really wasn’t my intention.

    Liked by 3 people

    • What a great comment! You should actually put it up as a post in it’s on your blog. Really great thoughts… I agree. You’re right when you disagree with me. Probably it would have been better to say “we are in control of shaping our destiny to a point and then it’s all about fate again”. Thanks for triggering much more thoughts in me in that subject. This is what I love I this blogging community. One thought leads to another!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I m glad you are so open minded!! Like you send you weren t wrong. You just weren t totally right!!! I have thought of putting it n my blog but I thought it was ok as it was. An all-open conversation about fate. I love it just the way it is on your blog! I will keep an eye cuz I love the subjects you flirt with!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think for me I like the quote because I choose to not let “fate” decided my circumstances in life. It seems to fatalistic to just say that is my fate or lot in life.

        “Fate” may decide where you start in life (economics or demographics) but how you end is the fate you make.

        Liked by 3 people

  5. Pingback: Weekly Review / Thank you / Introduction | Author Erika Kind

  6. In a nutshell, the Jewish teaching is that life has a purpose, namely the journey of the soul through certain trials and tribulations in order to refine, strengthen and bring to maturity one’s free-will “muscle”. Or, as one famous rabbi put it, the purpose of life is to perfect one’s character.

    Now, each soul has a unique set of imperfections to work on. So each soul is born into a life of specific circumstances to enable that process.

    For example, let’s say one person’s main lesson he needs to learn is patience. He will therefore be destined to encounter many challenges that will try his patience – that’s the only way he can learn patience.

    Or, to borrow a Talmudic example, imagine a person who has a predilection for human blood. You might say blood is his destiny. Yet he too has a choice: doctor or murderer?

    Here’s another example. We have a tradition that everyone has a predestined soul mate. However, there is no guarantee you will meet each other. It all depends on the choices you make. In fact, you have a primary soul mate if you both make the best choices, and you have secondary, tertiary etc. soul mates if you make other choices. Most people who are single at age 30 (to pick an arbitrary age) would agree that the person they are today is very different from the person they were 5 years ago, and their ideal partner should have similarly changed.

    Therefore, it is important to stress that in making choices, one changes oneself. Depending on the choices you make, then, you can change your destiny.

    Liked by 1 person

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