The Biggest Chance

warmth5What’s the biggest chance I’ve taken so far in my life? Looking at this question I was tempted to answer that it was my move to Australia. It was a big chance to take indeed. With no family in Down Under and only two friends we already knew it seemed like a very lonely place and very far away from everything when we stepped on that plane.

What if it would not work out? What if we would not settle and would not be able to stay? What if… In the end or at least until now it all worked out. And still I could have made this post about our move to Australia and gone into more details about our move and our life down here.

Then I gave it another thought and came up with something entirely different.

I think the biggest chance in life I took so far was marrying my husband after only such a brief time of dating. So many things could have gone wrong. To be honest, we barely knew each other when we said yes. Looking back now it could have ended in a disaster. So many people around us, so many friends, thought we were completely insane. It was just not normal not to date each other and then move in with each other and live together for at least a couple of months or years before tying the knot (for those of you who have not read it yet, here’s our story).

It was done differently to how we did it. People go out together for a while, they live together for a while and then eventually they get married… or they might not.

We’ve seen so many couples suddenly split up after years and years of dating. And we knew then what we know now: There’s simply no guarantee.

I wonder what I would suggest to my daughter or my son if they would do the same thing. Would I tell them to wait and first live together for a while, to get to know each other before making such a huge promise?

Would I? I don’t know.

It would be the reasonable thing to do, right? But how can love be reasonable?

How can you put in words what you feel inside? How can you explain your gut feeling? That gut feeling that tells you if the relationship will work out. If there are doubts most probably it won’t last forever. How could you ever possibly put such a feeling into the right words? I don’t think it’s possible. We all think and feel in so many different ways. What seems totally logical to me might sound completely insane to you. A description that makes total sense to me might throw you off completely.

So how can you put your gut feeling into words? You simply can’t. It’s a feeling. Half of it (at least) will be lost when you try to describe it…

As I’ve written over and over again I believe that you know if someone’s right for you. And when you know you take chances. Maybe it will work out and maybe it won’t. It’s life we are dealing with and it’s constantly moving and changing and challenging you with new things. So how can we ever be sure about anything?

I guess this is what I would say to my kids: There’s never ever a guarantee for anything. You have no guarantee for something to work out. Not a friendship, not a relationship, not a job and not a treatment. And it doesn’t matter how safe or secure or grounded something is or seems, there’s always the chance that it will change.

The right storm will manage to blow every tree down, no matter how strong it seems. The question is if that storm ever reaches the tree..

Everything you do is taking a chance.

And there’s nothing wrong about it.

A reader of mine recently reminded me of Jim Carrey’s Commencement Speech at Maharishi University and I’d like to highlight the following although it’s definitely worth watching his entire speech:

You can spend you whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all their will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear…

and:

You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love…

Do what you love and spend your time with who you love. There will never be anything wrong about this. And this is something I will for sure teach my children. Don’t live your life fearing what could possibly go wrong and in doing so stop living. Live your life, take those risks, take those chances, do what you love. Take the chances YOU decide are worth taking.

We are so scared of taking chances in life because we fear to have regrets about it later. How can we have regrets if we take a chance and do something we love and be with someone we love, instead of just do something so something is done? I often wonder how people can talk about a safe decision, a safe path to go, a safe option to take. Nothing is safe. Nothing is guaranteed, nothing is for granted. We can never know where life leads us. So how can we know what’s safe?

What do you think is better? Taking that chance, taking a risk or choose the so called safe way?

I took a huge chance marrying the man I knew would be my Mr Right. We are still here. Together and happy. We’re friends, partners, a team, a strong unit. It was the biggest chance in my life so far and it payed off and I will never regret having taken this chance in the first place.

Inspired by the Daily Post Daily Prompt – Take A Chance On Me

17 thoughts on “The Biggest Chance

  1. If you don’t take the chance, you’ll never know! Besides, safe is boring…:p Still, either way, there’s no guarantee to anything in life, isn’t it? The real challenge is facing it all head-on, putting on a brave face, winging it and hope for the best. I’m glad you take that chance, Sandra! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I felt the same way about my wife. I just “knew”. We did date and live together first, but I knew right away she was the one. Life is about risk. I agree that taking the “safe” path could lead to mistakes too. Might as well take that risk anyway, with no regrets.

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  3. Love this post! It’s so funny that you decided to write about this topic in particular. It’s an excellent example of choosing your path in life in spite of any fears, or reservations you experienced. Thanks for sharing. G-uno

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We take chances every day. We also must remember how impermanent this world is, our circumstances are. All we do send us down the path – how will you react to the steps you’re in in the moment?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. If you never take chances then are you living a life that is worth living?! You know what they say: with great risk comes great reward.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t think I’ve ever told my kids this, but part of my parenting philosophy is to give them enough rope so that if/when they hang themselves, there will be enough slack in the rope for me to save them. That’s a roundabout way of agreeing that they should take chances. When they need to make a decision, spouse and I give our daughters our opinion(s) and advice but always close by telling them that the decision is theirs and we will always be here/there to help and support them in any way we can. They’re adults now so we don’t want to and really can’t make their decisions for them.

    On the subject of taking a chance on love, and just knowing when it’s right, that’s basically what I did, though several times in the past 25 years I have told myself I must have been crazy to do so and what was I thinking. On the flip side, Daughter #1 has been dating her boyfriend for about 3 years and they have lived together for the past 2. Spouse is/was afraid that Boyfriend was possibly stringing her along, which is what Spouse had done to a woman he lived with for 7 years but knew for quite a while before he ended it that he would not marry her. This was well before he met me and KNEW, of course. Daughter did not like to hear this as potential direction of her relationship but Spouse and I are satisfied that we have performed our parental duties in that regard. We just hope and pray that we won’t have to help Daughter recover from heartbreak over this in the future. If we do, I guess we both know, based on experience, that heartbreak is something you risk when you commit to a relationship.

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