Listen And Create

In my books one of the most important but also sometimes most difficult things to do. Listen. Really listen. Don’t just only listen to the words but also to what’s been said between the lines and in the way, the tone, it’s been said.

Sometimes you just don’t manage to open yourself up to really get what’s been said. And sometimes it’s really hard to listen to your kids when they tell you one story after the other. You zone out. And yet, it’s important not to as you might miss the one important message. The one message they wanted you to hear.

I catch myself often to only listen to the stories my children tell me half-heartedly. I catch myself in the moment I do it and it makes me feel bad. I wonder if they were just telling me story after story and I didn’t miss anything important or if they were about to reach out and tell me something that really matters to them and although it probably seemed like I’ve been paying attention nothing stuck to me.

When I realize that I was zoning out I usually apologize to the kids and ask them if they could tell me again. So far I’ve been lucky enough to not hear the “oh never mind” yet and if there was something bothering them they would tell me again. And still it makes me feel bad. I want to listen to them. I want them to know what they say is important and that we listen.

It’s important to me as I know how bad it feels like when the one person you want to talk to, you need to talk to, just walks away and doesn’t listen to you. I know how bad it feels when you think your thoughts don’t count, that they are not important. I know how bad it feels if you think that your voice doesn’t matter, when the one person you want to talk to doesn’t listen.

I don’t want my kids to have that feeling. I want them to go out there, step into this world with the confidence that what they have to say matters and that people listen. Not everyone will listen and their words will not matter to everyone but I want them to know that it matters to me, to us.

While writing this post I thought I might make a little list of the 10 things that seem most important for me to teach my children and this is what I came up with:

  • Respect and honesty
  • Values
  • Tolerance
  • Confidence
  • Do what you love to do
  • Be who you are
  • Give your very best and be proud of it even if it did not lead to where you wanted to go
  • What you have to say matters
  • You have a voice and it counts
  • It’s okay to show emotions

There’s so much more I could add on. But I guess these points cover the basics. What would you put on your list of the 10 most important things to teach your children?

22 thoughts on “Listen And Create

  1. To love themselves, to love others, to love creation, to know what love is and is not… I figure all the rest will fall into place naturally.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Children learn by example. I have tried to be a good example. SoI have to say My Fathers “Never Lessons” so that my Fathers “Never Lessons” was a nice place to start. From there I taught my son that to Love means that you don’t pick and choose, you love everyone even if what you believe is not what they believe. I taught him to love and care for the planet. I taught him to question everything because when you question you learn the truth. I taught him to lead not follow. I taught him to respect himself and others but also respect that it must be earned. He knows that he is greatly loved and that he can always depend on me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Just Plain Ol' Vic and commented:
    I think as parents, we do want to always do right by our children. My “list” of important lessons to teach my children is similar – so in no particular order:

    1. Honesty
    2. Respect – yourself & others
    3. Be Responsible – for your actions & accept the consequences
    4. Love & Compassion – for who you are and how others are
    5. Do Your Best – No matter what it is, live up to your potential
    6. Question Everything
    7. Stand Up For Your Beliefs

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s a good list. And there are certainly more that could be added. I catch myself zoning out on them too at times. They tend to want to talk at my busiest time, when I’m right in the middle of something. I try to make their needs my priority though, as hard as that may be sometimes. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: One Lovely Blog, Liebster And Creative Blogger Award Once Again | A Momma's View

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