Bloody Body Shaming

All my life I’ve been not only been blessed by looking okay and being healthy but also by not being around cruel, mean and manipulative people. Bullying in school for me only meant to be teased for the color of my hair. Never was I hurt to the extend where I couldn’t cope anymore.

Of course it was all a bit easier back then, as social media and the slaughtering on it was not a tool just yet. But kids could hurt. Words could scar. It just kind of disappeared in a way whereas now it is floating somewhere in the open space of the world wide web and will forever be around to maybe hit you again one day.

I often wonder where this need to hurt others comes from. I just can’t figure it out. It has been around forever. We seem to be a bunch of creatures that thrive by putting others down. In a way we feed on making others appear worse than we are. And for what? Just to feel better ourselves? Strange, isn’t it?

You would think that making people happy would make you happy. Making them feel good in their skin would make you feel better too. Accepting others for who they are and how they look like would make us stronger and more balanced too. It feels so much more logical to me.

Obviously it’s not the case.

One of my very first posts on this blog was about a personal trainer who in my eyes went over board with a stupid remark. And now, just recently, the so called comedian Nicole Arbour thought she was funny by making jokes about fat people. Seriously? I’m not even going to link to her stupid clip.

What do they think their doing? They claim it’s motivational, they claim it’s comedy. In the end it’s just one thing: Bullying. Yes, jokes have always been around and usually the funniest were those that picked on a certain group. I remember my mother telling jokes about mentally disabled people and everyone thought it was funny. I remember that there were always jokes about different religions, different skin colors and so on. I guess there are fine lines between something being a joke and something being extremely hurtful. If a joke is told between two people it’s one thing. You don’t necessarily hurt anyone. If you go public and start joking about a certain group of people, about a certain body shape, religion or skin color than the line between bullying and telling a joke is even thinner to non existing.

I’m flabbergasted how people just say stuff, maybe aiming to hurt someone, maybe not, without even thinking about what it could really do to someone and to what point it would affect that person or that group. Where’s the good old live and let live? Did it ever exist? Probably not, looking at our interesting history.

Everything at all time is about controlling someone somehow. By keeping a person small you gain power over that person. How crazy… Instead of motivating someone who then would pull on the same rope with you, in the same direction with all that person can give?

Today I’ve found this post about an amazing Yogi, Valerie, who I found truly inspiring. Inspiring because I admire her for putting herself out there and risking being attacked. Obviously she is dealing with all of it pretty well. I admire her for dealing with the stupid remarks they way she says she’s dealing. And on top of all I admire her for all the poses she can do. This girl is inspiring. But rather than seeing how inspiring she is, how awesome she is for rocking those poses, how flexible and strong she is, people attack her. People try to make her feel bad by telling her what they think is wrong with her.

The thought that went through my mind?

What I see is an amazing woman. A woman who obviously feels comfortable in her skin, which I found an amazing example for all of us. To all you haters out there, making bad remarks about this woman: Try to do what she’s doing. Try to be as inspiring as she is. Try to be as positive as she is. Try to be kind. Try to be nice. Try to be open minded. If you manage to tick off only one of those points then think again about what you said.

Think again.

You might realize how stupid it was and hopefully feel slightly bad about it. Apologize. If you don’t realize how stupid your remarks were, then you are simply a lost case.

23 thoughts on “Bloody Body Shaming

  1. Bullying has been taken to a new level via the Internet. It is mostly anonymous, and therefore cowardly. But I’m sure it still hurts. No person that feels good about their own self would ever reach out to inflict pain on another. And that is the problem, I think. Those that bully…are most likely a mess, probably a victim. It’s all so sad. Thoughtful post, Sandra. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My body image came from being competitive in a sport where the athletes were in categories by weight. Now, 20 years later, I still criticize myself for every millimeter and half pound. I wonder if I will ever be free again.

    Liked by 1 person

      • The important thing is for them to have a good trainer who can see if “bad habits” are starting and not reinforcing them. I was a rower in university. Our coach was good, but body image and eating disorders were only discussed as a female issue. It was not until long after I left the club that I realized that the poison seed had been planted in me too. I think the best defense is education and awareness of the signs.

        I wish you and your family much fun and success with the martial arts training. I have also studied a little bit, and have found that the training helps is much of my everyday life.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have zero tolerance for bullying. It’s cowardly and does more damage than they know. And for what? What purpose does it serve? I was lucky not to have been bullied. And my kids haven’t had to deal with it much either. But everyday it seems, we read about suicides as a result of this nonsense. Senseless and sad.

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  4. Pingback: Bloody Body Shaming | cwa115's Blog

  5. It’s a really shame in this ‘civilised’ age that there is still such a vicious circle of nastiness to each other. The problem I see is that the people who feel the need to be nasty are very vocal, and the people who are supportive and nice, by their very nature, are less ‘in your face’ and so not as easily heard. Maybe we should take it on ourselves to be more proactively supportive of each other, to drown out the cruelty of others. Mir xx

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