Yep, you heard me right. Let’s get naked. But not the naked you think of. I’m talking about another kind of naked.
If you follow me for a while you might have realized how much I like TEDtalks. Every now and then I post one here and share my thoughts about it too. As I just did yesterday and am about to do now. I found this one while I was looking for the “Stripped Bare” one and of course the title caught my attention.I was pretty sure that it would not be about undressing. Or maybe it would?
So I watched it. And the funny thing is, that it fit perfectly well with a meme I’ve saved for quite a while now and was waiting to find the right words to “frame it with” in a post.
I will never be able to express so well what Sheila Kelley is saying but I totally agree with her. I mean look at us women! There’s one thing we all have in common: We harshly critizise ourselves. And most of us don’t live the sexy beast that is hidden somewhere under being the woman society wants us to be.
I know that I’ve let her surface briefly every now and then and funny enough it was the time I had the most success in life. On all levels. But I always felt slightly guilty to live the sexy side. And Sheila nails it by saying that we all are told at some time in our life that we shouldn’t be so sexual, shouldn’t be so proud of being a woman, so confident. We get shushed. The sexy beast in us gets shushed.
“What my body was saying is: You can clearly see that you have no idea who I really am! And she was completely right. – Sheila Kelley
When you watch the video you will realize that Sheila uses “she” when she talks about her body. It’s something that caught my attention right away. I would always call my body “it”. Why is it the case? Why would I not call my body “she”? She is clearly feminine! What about you ladies? Do you call your body “she”? I bet it’s an “it” too… And I guess it all goes back to how we’ve been raised.
After watching this video and clearly loving what she’s saying, I decided that I will call my body “she” when talking about her from now onward. I will make sure that my daughter will appreciate her body as a “she” too.
What the video also taught me is that sexuality is not only related to sex. It affects so many more levels in our life if we live our sexuality. By being confident with our sexuality, with the sexy beast inside of us, we become more confident with us as a person in general. We become more confident with what we do because we have found ourselves and know what we want, when we want it and who we want with us. And maybe that’s the “problem”.
Maybe that’s what got us here in the first place. Maybe we were not supposed to be confident. When we were not allowed to think freely, to vote, to drive, to dress the way we wanted to dress, the sexy beast got stored somewhere deep, deep down in our soul. And we better had to keep her there. Society was harsh with women who lived their sexuality in the past. In some places it still is. Even brutal. We have this in the past and still it affects us until now.
All those generations back we learned that it’s safer for us to keep our sexuality as hidden as possible. And we past this on to the next woman in our generation. And on and on. Until today. Although we might not have to hide the sexy beast inside of us any longer because time clearly has changed, it still is the normal thing to do. Because we grew up with it. Our mothers grew up with it, our grandmothers did and so on. It’s manifested inside of us. We are programmed this way.
It made me think of the first time I traveled to Brazil, aware that the Swiss men always claimed that the most beautiful women would live in Brazil. You know what: There are a lot of really beautiful women there. Honestly though, I don’t think that in a percentage there are really more beautiful women than anywhere else. What I found though was, that all women I saw were so confident. Because they were confident in their bodies they seemed so much prettier and sexier. And I guess that’s probably why men think there are more beautiful women there… They live their inner beauty, their sexy beast.
Reprogramming is hard because we all find issues on our bodies, parts that we are not happy with. And why is this? Because society has decided on a beauty model. And if you and your body don’t fit that model, you feel you are not good enough. If you think about it, it’s stupid. How can we possibly all look the same way? Why can hips not be wider, breast smaller or bigger, our body taller or smaller, our waist wider or thinner, the shape of our cheekbones different, our lips finer or thicker, our eyes bigger or smaller. And why does our hair look like the hair on the billboard?
Just because someone at some stage decided that the sexy, attractive women and her body have to look a certain way, doesn’t mean it has to be that way. We are sexy, no matter how we look like, if we want to be sexy. If we allow ourselves to live this side as well.
It’s time to reprogram our thinking, our acting, ourselves. This is not about taking over the world and changing things radically. It’s about going back to the roots. Going back to realizing what kind of wonderful creatures women actually are. It’s about not only realizing it but accepting it and living it on a daily base. Embracing our sexuality again and seeing it as something desirable. Something good. Something clean. And not something you have to be ashamed of. If you feel comfortable in your skin, if you feel at ease with your body, the vibes you send out will be so much stronger, so much more energetic and they will eventually attract so much more positive things.
I will never be able to express it better or as good as Sheila Kelley did. Thinking about the best way to end this post I have to use another quote from the video but also would like to tell you to remember one thing she says as well, referring to Charles Dickens: Be the hero of your own life!
“Women: When you walk into a room, remember that your breast should enter five minutes before you and your glorious ass should leave five minutes after you’re gone…” – Sheila Kelley