Must Not Fail!

We all might have been there. We all might have worried about failing in your job, in your relationship, maybe in a sport your doing or a hobby that is close to your heart. To be honest thought all of those failures you would have been able to manage, learn from it and move on.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts. – Winston Churchill

There’s this one area in our life though, where I think failure has a much bigger impact than in others. When you become a parent your life changes forever. Suddenly there are unknown worries, pressure you would have thought might never get close to you. No longer are you responsible for only you. You are responsible for the life of your child. It’s a big game changer.

When you fail as a parent though, it’s a entirely different story. For me it’s the one thing I’m terribly afraid of. I must not fail as a mom!

Of course I know that parents are no super-humans. We make mistakes. We are not perfect. For sure something that also teaches a valuable lesson to our children. But what if one of those mistakes has a bigger impact on our children than we would have thought? What if that one mistakes leads to failing our children?

I often wonder how big a mistake has to be to fail your children.

Words and actions can scar people for their entire life. What if we don’t chose our words wisely and trigger thoughts in our children that affects their future? What if our actions lead to something terrible for them? It’s my biggest fear.

Although I have that fear, I don’t let it paralyze me. If I would let it, I would have probably already failed my children. We need to believe in our ability. We must believe in being good parents and also forgive ourselves the little mistakes we make. But we need to keep away from huge mistakes.

I’m trying to think about what failing my children would mean for me. So I figured I make a list of the things that I’m most afraid of:

  • Making them think and believe that I don’t love them
  • Making them think and believe that they are not important
  • Making them think and believe that I don’t listen to them
  • Making them think and believe that what they have to say is not important
  • Making them think and believe that they are not good enough… for nothing…
  • Making them think and believe that their actions won’t make a difference
  • Making them think and believe that there actions are not important
  • Making them think and believe that they are not precious, worthy, valuable…
  • Making them think and believe that I don’t support them and their decisions
  • Making them think and believe that they can’t trust their instinct
  • Putting them in a dangerous situation
  • Not being able to provide them with the best possible tools for the best possible future
  • Turning them into disrespectful, unkind and intolerant human beings

There are many more things I think I could think of, but those things are the major ones. It’s a thin line of being aware of the things we don’t want to have an impact on our children, the things we don’t want to fail in and not letting them worry us too much. If we let it get too big and paralyze us we fail our children too. Because we won’t be the free and easy going parent they need. I guess the main thing we can provide our children with is love, respect and an open ear and open heart for them. Day after day after day.

Although Bill Cosby is probably not the right person to highlight I still thought this quote was pretty much spot on. I do have an immense desire to succeed as parent. And I know that it will keep me on track and hopefully away from making major mistakes. The future of my children is the most important thing for me. And I will for sure do my very best to not screw it up.

Are you worried about failing in this part of life too? I wonder what failing your children would mean for you?

Inspired by the Daily Post Daily Prompt – Must Not Fail

17 thoughts on “Must Not Fail!

  1. Good post. I can tell you, having a special needs child increases the fear of failure exponentially. What if I fail at that? Who’ll take care of him, if need be, when his mom and I are gone? Puts the pressure on.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: Must Not Fail! | hectorvruiz481

  3. I agree becoming a parent is absolutely a game changer. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if childbirth came with a “How to not permanently screw up your child” guidebook! All we can do is our best, and be the best example we can. Your list was great!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post Sandra. I always feel I must be failing them if they do something I would never have expected of them… But sometimes we, as parents, beat ourselves up way too much….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The very fact that you are scared speaks volumes of your protective nature. You are careful & mindful as a mum. Things can’t go wrong ever if you know ‘what needs to be done’ over ‘what should be done’.. Your list of things is something you already know answers to. So have fun with motherhood. Just like Bill Cosby was not the right person to be quoted, even I might not be the right person to be commenting here. But, then, I thought I should tell you that are a great person πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. They surely do not arrive with instruction manuals. And they will survive any and all of the mistakes that you fear, if they know that they are loved. It’s all that really matters. Try not to beat up on yourself. We all can relate. ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

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