I often wonder if people really are the way they seem. Who they really are. Just recently while watching a mom while waiting for my kids I was wondering why she would put up such an act. Or if she really was that kind of a person. And it made me think of a post I’ve written a while back. So here is my blast from the past about wearing masks.
Are we all just showing the mask we wear? And if so, do we swap masks depending on the occasion? I’ve recently posted a quote and also read a really great post about our true faces or wearing masks and it made me think.
I wonder if we really ever truly show our real face, if we truly open up. Or maybe better: I wonder when we stop being ourselves, as I believe that we are our true selves when we are kids. At least at some point. So when do we lose this ability to show ourselves, to trust the people around us with the utmost we, as personalities, have to offer: Our true inner self? And why do we decide that we have to act like someone else?
Is it all the rules we learn to follow? Do they change us? Or is it just a simple development? Do all people wear a mask? Do we all play a game and hide who we are? Do we actually still know, who we truly are?
Prajakta states beautifully describes in her post how she swaps masks in order to fit into the different situations in life, to fit in with the different people and probably most importantly to fit the expectations. While I was reading it I started thinking about my life and how I deal with all kind of situations. And I guess it is true. We do put on different masks, play different roles, act differently to who or what we would actually really be or be comfortable with.
Even as children we start acting ‘accordingly’. We evaluate the situation and then try to fit in by turning ourselves into the person who we think will have the best position in this situation. Maybe it is as simple as wanting to get a treat from our grandparents and be the good child they want us to be although we would rather go nuts and re-decorate their house.Or maybe it is a bit more complex and it is in the teenage years, when we so desperately want to fit in and want to be cool and do everything to be the coolest girl or guy around. So we start dressing differently, maybe talking differently, listening to music we actually don’t really like, but hey, it’s what the cool kids listen to. Maybe we even go as far as drinking or taking drugs or doing other silly stuff, we feel completely uncomfortable with. But it is what we have to do to fit in…
Dates, friendships, family, job interview… you name it. Different moments, different masks.
And now I wonder… do we really show a completely fake person? Or are we actually every single one of them? Those masks we wear… are they really just masks we put on?
Mask: A covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise or to amuse or frighten others
Now, is what we do really like wearing a mask? Is it really being in disguise? Or is it just a way to show the world all the different layers of our personality? Being able to adjust can after all be a pretty great little gift and also protection. And is not showing our true face really a bad thing? Do we really need to show everyone our grumpy, sad, desperate or maybe totally scared self? Does it not speak for us that we try to adjust? Try to be nice or strong?
Even with the people we love the most, who we consider the closest we are not always entirely honest. We show them a mask too. Maybe not always. But what about those moments when you get angry at your partner (maybe for no reason) and instead of telling him or her off you put a smile on your face (probably looking like an cold blooded assassin…) and keep doing what were doing before. Or with your kids… when you are about to crack down but you just don’t want to. You are exhausted and they are pulling your nerves and you would so love to scream but you know it would not be right. And you pull yourself together and you smile anyway… You just put on a mask.
Wearing those masks is normal. It is part of the deal and it probably always was. Important is, that we never lose track of who we really are, that we never lose ourselves and never stop loving the person we actually are. And that we always stay honest with our loved ones. They are the ones who deserve the real us the most. And most probably they are the ones who love the real person inside of us the most… together with us.