Think!

I’m a mom. I’m a mom that wants the best for my children. I’m a mom that believes that every child deserves the best. I’m a mom that believes everyone who’s involved in teaching a child something has the responsibility to give his or her very best to provide the kids with the best possible opportunity, teaching and training. And I’m a mom that gets angry when I witness that this is not done properly.

We often hear that phrase “What matters most is how you see yourself” and I totally agree with it. But what if you are young and you get shaped not only by yourself and the way you want to be, which you probably don’t really know anything about yet? What if the people that matter the most in your life, the people you look up to, you respect the most, suddenly turn on you? Criticize you for something that is not your fault and is totally out of your influence? It will get to you! No matter how strong you are. If you are young and only in the process of shaping into a confident person, it will have a huge impact!

I dislike (for the sake of not using the word hate…) to see people brush over a mistake they make just because they deal with children and not adults. I believe kids deserve the same amount of respect from us we are expecting from them.

I dislike it a lot when adults who are responsible for kids critizise something that the child has no influence on and can’t really change. Especially when it was this adult who made a mistake in the first place.

I dislike it when I child looks up to an adult and expects this adult to teach him or her something (or coach) and instead of doing the job properly this adult ignores the child and doesn’t give the needed feedback.

I dislike it when the feedback given has nothing to do with the child’s effort and instead of pointing out what was done right the mistakes other grown ups made are pointed out and used as criticism towards the child.

A coach or a teacher or any other adult who deals with children on a daily base and has a responsibility supporting a child has to build up the confidence of the child. In no way should his or her ego be an issue. I also think that if that person has an issue with how things are handled by other adults in this child’s environment it shouldn’t be made the child’s problem, but rather be discussed in a conversation between those adults.

It drives me nuts to see how selfish some so called coaches and teachers handle situations just because they feel like their ego has been “hurt”. Wake up! Think! Sometimes it’s not the child’s fault! Be a grown up and approach the other grown ups involved rather than not doing your job properly and letting a child down that looks up to you. What’s done there is undermining the child’s confidence.

Coaches and teachers demand respect from their kids. But they also want the kids to stick up for themselves. They want them to perform and be strong, be smart, be motivated and give their very best. I have no problem with that, it’s what it’s about. 

What irks me though is that some people seem to forget that they have to show the same amount of respect, motivation, support, strength and effort to the kids too. And they have to accept it when kids stick up for themselves as long as it’s done in a respectful manner.

I often hear adults preach to their kids to admit when they make a mistake and I totally agree. But how should kids learn to admit it if grown ups they look up to don’t? If they don’t admit it and don’t say sorry but rather play an obviously unfair blame game? It’s sending out the wrong message.

Don’t kill that seed of confidence in a child just because you can’t admit to a mistake you’ve made!

I think it’s pretty simple: If you want the kids to look up to you and to respect you, to listen to you and follow you, then give them a reason to. As much as they need to prove themselves, you need too.

Best advice ever…

10 thoughts on “Think!

  1. I so agree, and can cite so many examples over the years. One blatant one..my son’s Kindergarten teacher was struggling through an ugly divorce, clearly a man-hater at this point in her life. She took her anger out on all the boys in her class. It was so obvious to all of us who witnessed as volunteers in the classroom. She had 30 years of tenure, so they ignored our complaints. His 1st grade teacher saved them… built up their confidence, gave them attention and respect, restored their love of school. Such a contrast. Personal issues that affect the way a teacher relates to an entire gender…should never happen, but, sadly, it does. Thanks, Sandra. ā˜ŗ

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t give it a lot of thought, as I have not taken the path to motherhood. But looking back to childhood, this makes perfect sense. Something for me to keep in mind. Thanks for the post šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It takes a special kind of person to be a teacher. My college roommate, who is still one of my closest friends and LOVES being a kindergarten teacher, is an excellent example. Of course, they are also human beings who sometimes have bad days or difficulties in their own lives which may show up in their work. I know that happened to me when I was working and sometimes what was going on in my personal life may have shown up in my on the job performance, though it was usually the other way around and I brought my unhappiness in my job home with me. I guess we may have higher expectations of those who work with our precious children. When we see that happening it may be used to teach our children a life lesson about how they can help other people, even grown ups, get over and out of their bad attitudes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I really appreciate you coming over and commenting, as the exchange with you always triggers many thoughts in me. You make me think and see things yet again in a different (sometimes similar) light. I love what you are saying here. You’re right. It’s a good lesson for the kids indeed.

      Liked by 1 person

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