Blast From The Past – When Rules Get In The Way Of A Friendship

Minecraft it is. All the time. At least for my son. He can play. Of course there are rules. And the rules sometimes cause issues. Before I tell you more in form of my little blast form the past post I need to say something though: I love watching him play while also Facetiming with his friend and talking about strategy. It’s not anti-social at all. They connect over it. They sort of create something, even if it is in a virtual world. And they plan. There needs to be a little room for that too in a day. Just a little bit…

Minecraft_coverMaybe you remember that my daughter has asked me twice to write about something she would have like to have discussed. It was my ‘Like Tom & Jerry’ and ‘It’s Hard Work To Be Barbie’ post. Now yesterday my son inspired me to write a post. Well, you know, they both always inspire me but this one was very specific.

The last couple of times my son played Minecraft on his computer he was allowed to play online with one of his best buddies. And while they were playing they were Facetiming, which is basically a video call. Don’t ask me why they decided to Facetime as they had their eyes glued on the computer screens…

Now as it is with those digital games, you kind of get lost in them, especially when playing with a good friend. There are rules in our house and those rules not only state on which days he is allowed to play but also for how long and especially for how long in one go.

The other day we were a bit slack and let them play for longer. Much longer. They had heaps of fun and they won’t see each other for a little while so I thought it would be a good thing to allow him more time. He is usually pretty good with keeping to the rules and listening to us if we tell him to stop. We rarely argue about it. But that day, after he played for basically almost double the amount of time he got slightly upset when I told him that it is time to stop. He told his friend that he unfortunately has to stop and his friend was upset too. And when they were finally offline and phones were off too my son looked at me and said:

“Mom, this is a typical case of rules getting in the way of a friendship!”

For a moment I was not sure if he really meant it and was about to explain him how silly this is, when I saw his cheeky smile. He totally got me! Although I am sure there was a little bit of seriousness shining through…

Still it made  me think… Of course there is no way that rules have to be kicked out of the window just because our juniors decide that they “stand in their way of having a good time”. But it is understandable, right? And we were the same as kids!

I remember how annoying it was when we had to go home because it was time to. I remember when we were not allowed to go and play with the other kids because we had not finished our homework yet. And how stupid we thought it was when we were not allowed to play with certain games because our parents thought they were not appropriate. But some of our friends were allowed to. And we could not play with them…

All of this is a case of “the grass always seems greener on the other side”! I remember telling my parents that my friend is allowed to play it and the answer I usually got was “well you are not your friend!” or the “if your friend would jump off a bridge, would you do it too?” I am pretty sure you all have heard that too..

So we suddenly find ourselves on the other side. The side that makes the rules and is in charge for sticking to the rules. And we get challenged. Challenged by our kids who don’t understand why those rules are there in the first place. At least some of them seem totally strange to them. I mean why would you not be allowed to play Minecraft for hours and hours and hours. Maybe even over night? And why not constantly online and with all kind of strangers?

I guess it is still hard to understand that we made those rules to protect them. Rules are just not fun, especially when they stop you from having a great time with your friend. I totally understand that and I know that our kids will understand as well why there are rules.

After all the rules in our house are not the most difficult rules they will encounter in their lives…

11 thoughts on “Blast From The Past – When Rules Get In The Way Of A Friendship

  1. I’m so glad you understand that you have rules for a reason. Most parents would relent in the face of “fun” but it’s refreshing to see a parent who knows that their rules are there for a purpose and, as you said, your rules won’t be the toughest your kids will ever face. Preparing our kids for the real world. That’s our job as parents.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rules and structure are good to have. We’re the same here. He has a set time to play each day and when he reaches said time there’s no more until the next day. On very rare occasions, on very slow, down days he’ll get longer. He loves his Minecraft.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rules are not fun but they are so important to maintain discipline and sanity.. Good job at making them and wish you all the luck with having the little ones stick to them.. it’s tough but not impossible.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Same over here! The kids mirror so much. We find ourselves in our parent’s position and on the other side remember well when we were kids and thought like our kids do now. They growing up is a constant adjustment of rules too.

    Liked by 1 person

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