I wrote the following post a few months ago. The person back then really got to me. Today I had a very different experience which still makes me smile. To be honest it all comes down to how open minded a person is. I hope you enjoy this blast from the past and it makes you think about keeping an open mind because I believe it’s a very special gift and the thing with it is…
…, that it’s not for everyone apparently. Homeschooling is a big part of our lives and so far we never regretted to decision to teach our kids ourselves. As I’ve mentioned before there are the occasional conversations that push your limits and Just recently I had another one. It took me by surprise, especially the intensity that lady had.
Most of the time, when other people get a bit out of line the converation will still stay calm and it’s only a matter of explaining your reasons to a certain point and after that it’s kind of a “I accept your way and you accept my way” kind of end to it.
This time it was different. She is a friend of a friend of ours and we all were invited to our mutual friends house. We have never met and our kids have never met before. I’m used to the points most people bring up re homeschooling by now and I sort of have my standard answers ready. This time it was just so different!
As I’ve mentioned before, it was her intensity, if not to say almost aggression that through me off. And she kept riding that one point. Although she claimed it was a question, she stated that she thinks that homeschooling can no longer work when the kids become adolescents, as they just don’t listen to you as a parent then anyway and as home-schooled kids will therefor also not take the education serious anymore. She thinks that they will stop listening to you and therefor will not learn anymore.
Definitely something to consider or talk about. And I would have not minded it, if she would have had a different approach. And if she would have tried to listen and maybe understand or at least accept my point of view. And here we are back to the one thing: Respecting someone else’s opinion!
I tried to explain. But after a while I felt it would be more productive to explain it to the wall than her, as she just didn’t want to hear my side, our side. Now here is the dilemma: You are at your friends house and you would like this to be a pleasant evening. Luckily there were other people too and so there was the chance to focuse on someone else.
I don’t feel the need to defend a decision to someone I don’t know. Someone that doesn’t know our kids. Frankly, she can think whatever she wants to. I find it interesting though, how certain people tend to critizise something they are not familiar with. It’s interesting, that some people tend to critizise a decision of someone they don’t know just because it’s not the way they would choose to go.
I find interesting, that people like this never critizise their friends or just other parents for the school they’ve chosen. They don’t question the decision of parents who choose public school over private school, although you could start listing things to critizise there too for sure. Just for the sake of critizising. So the problem is not that we choose something the majority might not choose, but something that’s simply not done “in a normal manner”.
So I brush this little attack of with the thought, that she would have probably reacted in a similar way if I would have been either married to a black person or married to another woman… It seems, that she’s the kind of person that struggles with everything that’s out of the ordinary. Or maybe she just had a very shitty day.
Maybe I should have pointed out this interesting article to her. But, I guess, she would probably only have picked up on the negative and not the positive in it. As much as I don’t want to think like that, but some people are just not open for other opinions and actually, that’s kind of okay. As long as they don’t try to force theirs on anybody else either…