Blast From The Past – Schocking Numbers

Interesting how reports can get to you. How they can sink in and not let go of you. I wrote about my worries in regards to being able to protect my daughter, my kids. Then I wrote about the report I watched about the woman who has to allow her abusive ex to see their child. Again I’ve seen and I’ve heard numbers that are so hard to grasp. And it’s not letting me go. I think it’s good to remind ourselves of those shocking numbers every now and then. Just to stay alert. To make sure we do our best to protect ourselves but also and most importantly our children. Here are some numbers I dug up a little while ago and think might be good to be shared again.

Don’t be paranoid but don’t be careless either…

One of the best things about blogging is the exchange with other bloggers, with people from all over the world and with all kind of different backgrounds. Of course it wasn’t any different with my post ‘Never Talk To Strangers’. The comments I got for this post were really thought provoking. Especially the one My Thoughts On A Page left with a link to one of her posts made me think (please read it and please reblog!). Can it really be? Can the numbers really be that shocking?

Every now and then, and more often than I would like to, I hear parents say ‘this little shit did this’ or ‘the little wimp did that’ or the ‘oh just toughen up you douche-bag!’. I don’t like to hear that. It hurts me! Now imagine how the child must feel. The child who hears those words out of the mouth of the mother or the dad. How belittling it must be. Now, is this abuse? Officially probably not. Words can hurt, right? And they can scar.

Now this post isn’t meant to be about this verbal approach (let’s just not call it abuse). Still, I wanted to mention, that there are so many more ways of abusing your children, of hurting them and leaving deep scars that might never heal. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical to throw a child of the path, to make it feel bad, unloved and hurt. So even if we don’t mean the words we say to be so harsh, they still might stick around for ever and they still might leave wounds. Wounds we probably never will be able to see.

As I feel children are more than worth protecting and to be looked after, I constantly struggle with the idea that someone in the right mind could actually physically hurt a child. I hope that people in the right mindset will struggle to understand how a baby or any other young child can possibly be beaten or raped. I struggle to understand rape in general but when it comes to sexual abuse of children it’s even worse. So this post is about physical abuse of children. To be precise, it’s about numbers related to physical abuse of children. Numbers that shocked me when I saw them.

Although I’ve stated months ago that I’m not the kind of person, who likes to do heaps of research, I started looking up those numbers. When I read My Thoughts On A Page’s post I honestly thought that those numbers must be a mistake. Until I looked up statistics after statistics after statistics… And frankly, it doesn’t make me feel good… It actually makes me feel sick, sad and in a way helpless. Here are only a few of those numbers (Source: http://arkofhopeforchildren.org/child-abuse/child-abuse-statistics-info. I decided to only link to this page, but feel free to google child abuse statistics and you will see…):

Sexual Abuse:

  • Child rape occurs every two minutes

I wonder how long it took you to read this post… now imagine, how many kids got sexually abused in that short amount of time…

  • 1 in 3 girls will be sexually molested before the age 17
  • 1 in 6 boys will be sexually molested before the age 17

I automatically started thinking of all the kids in my kids’ activities, our kids friends and so on. So can it really be that there are a couple of them, who have to go through this ordeal? I looked up the numbers for Australia and they aren’t any better…

1 in 3! 1 in 6!

My daughter plays soccer. There are 10 girls in her team. So statistically 3 of this team will at any stage be sexually abused before they turn 17…

  • A sex offender will molest an average of 120 victims, most of whom do not report it

Imagine how those victims must feel… Especially considering the next point…

  • 90% of molesters abuse children they know

Family… Friends… Neighbors… Makes me feel even worse. Now in my ‘Never Talk To Strangers’ post it’s all about strangers. In a way you feel under control as you can teach your child the stranger danger idea. But in this case? How to explain to them that people we know, we might like, might be dangerous. How? Without making them feel awkward? Without destroying the trust? And how can you still trust in your surrounding when you see numbers like that? Kind of makes you feel paranoid…

  • Oftentimes, a sexually abused child is abused in other ways too

I guess it’s all about keep them as little (mentally) as possible in order for them to apply…

More Numbers:

  • Every 10 seconds a child is abused (or raped)

I don’t even want to look at my watch anymore…

  • 3.3 million child abuse reports in 2010

Those are only the ones that got reported…

  • For every report 2 more go unreported = many millions abused annually

What kind of world are we living in?

  • 61,000 reports to Child Protective services per week = 6 per minute
  • Of 1.5 million runaways 85% are fleeing some form of abuse

And then? Will they get out of it? Or will they end up in a abusive relationship or on the street? What are the chances? I guess at one point you would probably just feel worthless. What will that do to you and your future?

  • Only 10% of abusers do not know their abuser well

How bad does it have to be to know this person. To have memories… maybe there are still some good ones from before. Maybe it’s someone the community thinks really highly of, someone everyone likes and respects. Maybe it’s someone you trusted blindly. And now? Sickening! And what are the chances that people believe you? How very alone would you feel?

  • Abuse victims = about 48% male, 52% female

And yet, we always talk of women when talking about rape…

  • Every race and religion sees child abuse

The only fact that doesn’t surprise me… unfortunately…

So here is the fact: Most of the kids we see every day will statistically be victims of sexual abuse at one point in their lives. And most of them will not be raped or molested by a stranger but by a person they know, which includes family, friends, neighbors and older kids. People you would think they should be able to trust. People that you would think should protect them. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it makes me speechless. Stranger danger? Maybe! After reading this I would highly suggest to add a general abuse awareness talk with your children to your plan as strangers don’t seem to be the biggest threat anymore…

Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.Dave Pelzer, A Child Called “It”

For all of you survivors: You are so strong! It was never your fault! You deserve a good and happy life!

For all of you out there: Speak up! There are people who will believe you. There are people who will protect you and there are people you will help you to get out of it. Yes, you will make it. And yes, you are worth a good life! You deserve better!

18 thoughts on “Blast From The Past – Schocking Numbers

  1. I agree with you that children should be protected from all types of abuse. Looking at the numbers was there anything to indicate the age of abusers, particularly those under 10? Do the numbers tell us what constitutes abuse? The reason I ask is my abuser was another child around my age and recently my 3 year old grandson got in trouble at daycare for hugging/kissing a couple of little girls in his class.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow… no, I think there was nothing indicating the age of the abuser. I think though, that we talk about grown ups or at least teenage kids. A 3 year old should not get in trouble for hugging and kissing. This is taking it too far. But that’s only my opinion. Crazy, how the focus is on stopping kids being kids rather than protecting them from adults or older kids doing things to them that are clearly not right…

      Liked by 2 people

      • The kid that abused was just a kid like me. His family background was pretty dysfunctional and when he got older (teens) he and two other guys raped and sodomized a young woman. He did about 10 years in prison but that was only because he was implicated in a murder of an elderly man. I agree that a 3 year old shouldn’t get in trouble of hugging and kissing but I think some of this has to do with the disregard of common sense.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is very well written and an important post for all. Sadly, it’s rare for me to find other women who have *not* been sexually abused. Of course, those who have experienced any type of abuse in general are even more rare to find. People are not objects and should never be treated like one, but unfortunately that seems to be the exact case for many of us out here. People are very selfish in their intents, never thinking or caring about the pain they’re causing others. It’s all about them. We live in a very backwards society and sadly it’s been happening for generations.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Physical abusers, sexual abusers, bullies… I’ll just keep my kids at home, inside, with me from now on. Well written and these stats are enough to make one cry. Especially with the news of this Brock fella only getting 6 months for rape.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish there was an “appreciate” button in addition to the “like” button. I do not like this post, but I appreciate the vital, albeit disturbing, information. Thanks for posting this.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There’s so much to comment on here.
    Firstly, my understanding about how they’re teaching kids at school about this now is that nobody is allowed to touch your private places. My kids know all about white vans kidnapping kids and there have been a few sightings etc in our suburb. One of the things I understand about these predators is they they prey on vulnerable kids. Kids with low self-esteem. However, when you look at those statistics, it goes a lot further.
    One of the things is that when you have groups of kids together, there is safety in numbers.
    When it comes to the comment about the pre-school not allowing kids to hug and kiss each other, it’s also about respecting someone else’s space. Some kids don’t like being touched at all and have a right to their space. Schools and pre-schools are all about keeping yourself to yourself. They need firm rules with the little ones too.
    My best friend from childhood was being raped by her father and I used to stay over at her house. Indeed, I used to make pancakes with her as I mentioned in your next post. However, I remember that she had a cubby house in her backyard with proper glass windows and a real bed with a mattress. I remember that as clear as day because cubbies didn’t have beds. They were pretty makeshift structures back in the 70s. Now, I know.
    I had child protection training at work and they warn you about those clues. Those things, like my friend’s bed, which you note as being different in some way and not to dismiss them. One of those was people giving children expensive presents and I came across that even during the training where my friend’s boyfriend kept giving her daughter expensive presents. I mentioned that to the pastor at church. They broke up not long after and I don’t know if anything happened. But from what I understand, many of these predators pass under the radar and are friendly, cluey people and we need to be vigilant, not only around our own kids but in our community.

    Like

    • I guess you are right re your remark about the pre-schooler, they should have their space. This is an amazing comment, thank you for leaving it. Thinking back there have been some weird things going on with some of my friends. Not that I would know of anything happening to them but you’re right, there are trigger points. Stuff to look out for…

      Like

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