Whenever I write a post I put a little bit of myself out there. What I write is what I feel. Although I keep it light I sometimes can’t help addressing things that deeply move, anger or scare me. I will put my heart out there, say it the way I feel it, the way I see it.
When I do I’m aware that my opinion might not be shared by everyone. And that’s totally fine. After all blogging is about exchange of opinions, information and experiences. Which brings me to one of the things I think is important: Etiquette.
See, when I visit a blog I imagine I visit your home. So when I visit I feel and behave like a guest. I might not be on the same page as you are but I still like to read what you have to say and in doing so try to see where your opinion is coming from. I might ask you a question in the comments to your post.
By reading your post and leaving a question in the comments I might learn something new, or see clearer where you are coming from. This might change my opinion or not but it will for sure give me a better understanding. I might read through the comments of others and see what your answers to their questions or comments were. Again, this might give me a better understanding where you are coming from. And if I can’t understand you point of view at all or if I find it too extreme, I will simply disappear and leave you alone.
As I said I feel like visiting your place when I visit your blog. It is your place. A place you share your views, your sorrows, your fears, your feelings, your opinions. Where you mix and mingle with the people who might think like you. Who like what you write about, the way you tick maybe. Just like people you would have over in your home.
Apparently not everyone shows the same amount of respect, or etiquette.
So far I’ve been lucky enough to not have experienced trolls on my blog. Almost all exchanges I had so far with followers, readers or others just coming over to have a quick read were very interesting, well mannered and peaceful conversations. It’s the way I like to keep it.
I have a rule here on A Momma’s View. A rule that I have in my house too. If you visit me, I’d like to make you feel welcomed. It’s just the way I am. I want you to feel comfortable being here and sticking around. If you visit you play nicely. It’s easy, you know. I like a good discussion, even if we never find common ground. My rule is that we are kind with each other and that we play fair. We play nice. We inspire and motivate, support and if we do not agree we accept the other opinion and stay respectful. Sometimes agreeing on disagreeing is good enough and you can still keep up a nice conversation and maybe everyone takes something away from it.
If you still don’t like what I have to say, what comments are left by my visitors, just leave. Nobody forces you to stick around or to keep following. It’s entirely up to you. If you don’t like what I have to say to the point where you get aggressive instead of just leaving you definitely must have a problem. Or too much time on your hand. Don’t torture yourself…
What I will not accept is rude or aggressive behavior, especially not against my guests or in the blogger world all the people who take their time to comment on my posts. Just like in real life it’s one thing if you jump at me but it’s a different story if you jump at my guests. I’m happy to take some heat as a host but I will not let you harass my visitors. If you visit you play nicely. It’s easy, you know. If you don’t like it, leave. Nobody forces you to stick around or to keep coming back. It’s entirely up to you. If you don’t like what I have to say to the point where you get aggressive instead of just leaving you have a problem. Or too much time on your hand. Because honestly, who sticks around without liking it?
It’s what blogging etiquette is all about for me. Live and let live. If you can’t live with the opinion of other bloggers to the point where it makes you aggressive simply don’t visit anymore. Let them do their thing. Do your thing on your blog.
Be kind, have an open mind, leave comments that are constructive and good. Minding ones manners is good too.
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Yes! That’s it!
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I love this. This is what my judgement post the other day was about. It is completely OK to disagree, have a contrasting opinion or flat out think that I’m wrong. That is life. But then to bash and hate as a result, completely unnecessary! πππ
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I couldn’t agree more.
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π
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Good thoughts, well said! π
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Thanks, Simon π
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Well said Sandra. I think trolls should get a life and stop trying to be keyboard warriors. Love your blogs, I always enjoy reading them. I love your view and thoughts and I know if we sat down and had a coffee to chat it would be for hours and hours lol
Hope you’re well x
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Will do that next time I’m in Sydney!
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Yes let’s.
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Definitely!
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Good post Sandra. I feel the same, and welcome comments on my posts too. Likewise to date, I have been lucky not to have trolls. Some comments open up a new perspective, or draw attention to something I may not have expressed the way I meant it to come across. We are all individuals, share common ground, or differ in opinion.
It’s what makes life interesting, and rudeness should not come into it at all. π
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Exactly π
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I like the part that screams get out…Lol. This is an advice for trolls I wrote recently..
https://mariajob.me/2016/06/28/follow-button-not-for-everyone/
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Thanks for sharing, reading it now.
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I really enjoyed reading this and totally agree with you but what do you do when a certain blogger you are following carries on being outright offensive to your beliefs and practices as an individual..Is it not bound to affect you at some point…?
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Honestly, if it’s on a regular base just don’t follow anymore. If it’s in regards to one subject, think about it. I see it like this: I have friends who have opinions on a certain subject that I don’t agree with. But in general we are on the same boat. So I agree to disagree in that specific case. Bit I would not spent time with people who constantly are completely opposite of what I believe is right and who would be offensive. Same in the blogosphere. Nobody forces you to read a certain blog or follow it. If you followed it and discover that it’s offensive to your practices and beliefs then unfollow it. Just like in real life. You would not spend time with someone that is constantly offensive to you. Or would you? We all have this option. And I think rather than the exchange becoming more and more aggressive because both sides just believe that their view is right, you just drop it by not usurping anymore. You shared your point of view and that’s all you can do.
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To be honest I rarely take offences to heart and in my own blog refrain from posting hurtful or offensive stuffs but for example it occurred recently that a certain Vegan blogger posted a cheriding and admonishing post about the evil nature of the meat lover.Well I immediately unfollowed!..appreciate your views.
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Well, I think you were over at my gfunde hale post? Got some interesting comments there… I have to say though, that I did point my finger at the Faroe Islanders in my post…
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Or do you mean if they come over to your blog and be offensive with you in their comments on your posts?
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Is it ,I will make a note of that post n check it out..Although the one I am talking about happened just a few hours back..i wonder what that is about but would like to take a look.
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It’s supposed to be grindwhale post (End It Finally!)… I think you are right to unfollow if you personally feel offended. It’s the easiest. It’s not worth getting worked up. If someone has a strong opinion about something it’s usually lost energy to try to make a point.
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nice post. I agree with you. you are a guest on someone’s blog but it’s real easy to be insulting from behind a keyboard.
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Yes! Way too easy!
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So, not taking any pages from Dan Akroyd’s book? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viYuzuJom1k
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Hehehehe
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I might use that in the future π
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Well said!
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Thank you π
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Yes. This. Totally agree. I’ve only had a couple of those comments and they were just rude, not really abusive. The last one accused me of being childish and told me to get over myself. I actually didn’t mind the comment because it actually kind of proved the point I was trying to make in the post. Handy, really! π Others had expressed their differing views also but in an understanding and polite way. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me but do it nicely. Just as you’ve said. What I found interesting is that the person who left the comment was new to my blog and when I checked their blog, it was fairly new and they only had one follower. It was hard not to leave a “Let me give you a tip….” comment. π
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Hahaha!!! Well, I guess if that person keeps leaving comments like this the number of followers might not go up π The funny thing is that I’ve written this post a couple of days ago and scheduled it to be up now and in the meantime had someone going on and on about a post of mine to the point where I felt it got rude (it’s the whale slaughtering post…). I was actually thinking to take this post down to give that person the idea it’s about those comments and that blogger but then… It’s my general opinion, so what π
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It’s your blog. Post what you want to post. As you’ve said, there’s no law that says someone has to read it if they don’t like it.
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Exactly
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Totally agree. I don’t like rudeness in life or in my blog. I want it to be a magical place where people come together to share a moment talking about books, writing, photography, or whatever takes my fancy.
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Yes!
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Book reviews polarize as well, don’t they? I once read a review and a very rude comment on it. It was about ‘The Gone Girl’ and I had just finished reading it myself. I thought that the review was spot on but someone was not happy with it. The comment was mean! That person clearly didn’t like the book. I saw were the blogger was coming from but honestly, not everybody has to share the same opinion and books are received in a unique way by everyone.
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Yes I’m honest when I review but I am never mean. I know just how much hard work, dedication, and out-pouring of the soul goes into a book, so I could never be unkind. In fact I don’t review books that are below 3 stars
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Good one!
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OH! OK!
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Don’t walk away…
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OH!
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π
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You scared me.
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Never be scared of me. I appreciate different opinions and if they are shared in a constructive way I really don’t mind. You shared this link in the comment which points out some things and I found it interesting to read. I still don’t agree that the grind is done but hey, that doesn’t mean everyone else has to be against it. It was not about you at all π
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Totally agree! If someone doesn’t like what they read they should unfollow.
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Or ignore that post… If you don’t like what the blog is about in general then unfollow… Thanks for reading!
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I agree. Respect goes a long way. There is no need to be a bully or berate someone for their opinions.
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Thank you
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Sandra this is a great post. You are such a lovely blogger! Xo
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Thank you so very much, I appreciate your comment a lot!
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I like your analogy of visiting a blog is much like visiting a home, Sandra. And as a guest, we should mind our manners. There is no need to be rude if there’s a disagreement. We can always agree to disagree!
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Exactly. I wonder why it’s so hard for some to see that?
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Good question. It’s probably something they don’t think about because if their sole purpose is to taunt and to troll and be mean, being nice is just lost on them. To which, they shall be ignored. π
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Yep
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Great advice an completely agree with you. My only issue on WordPress is not being able to block someone. It bothers me that someone who is not so nice and has actually tried to upset me can read my blog. Nothing I can do about it though so I had to weigh the good and bad and the good far outweighs the bad here. π
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That’s very true… There should be such an option…
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