There’s one thing I see as the biggest mistake people can make: Treating kids with no respect.
I’ve always watched parents and how they treated their children. For a while I was considering becoming a teacher but my plans changed. Maybe that was why I looked at parents closer. Maybe it was just because I was curious. I don’t know why. But what I know is that it for sure taught me a lot about what I wanted to do as a parent and what attitude I never wanted to adopt.
I wonder what those parents expect from their kids. I mean how can you possible expect them to be respectful, to talk in a respectful manner if the words you use towards them, the tone of voice you use is so below every normal standard. I had this really crazy moment this weekend. One of those moments where you stand there and shiver because of what you have witnessed. One of those moments you think that it can’t really be true. When you look at your friend or spouse with the question in your mind “did you just hear that too”…
The way this mom talked to her child almost made me sick. How can a child develop a normal attitude towards others, how can a child speak in the right tone, use the right words if it gets destroyed by words coming from the one person who should build him or her up: The parent?
The sad thing is, that kids like this will turn into adults like that too. What they grow up with will be the normal approach they will have unless some sort of “angel” enters their life and makes them see how wrong of an approach it is.
I witnessed something else tough too: Watching parents explain things to their child. Listening, answering questions, truly connecting. Not just pretending, not just making stuff up and not just shushing their child or giving them the easiest possible answer just so they stop asking.
I believe a child has the right to question things. And we have the responsibility to find the right answer and not just the easiest one. It’s how you teach your child. About everything. About life. About respect. About value. Honestly, what can be more important than taking the time to explain something properly, to truly answer a question to your child? Why would you brush it off? Why would you shut them down?
Those two examples made me think about the fact that we are all teachers. But we are also students. And I think it’s important to see that we can learn as much from our children than they learn from us. They teach us to teach. They teach us to listen, they teach us to learn again. So I figured I share a post as a Blast From The Past about teachers and students with you today.
No, this post is not about school. And yet it is. All of us have been students and most probably still are. We never stop learning and being inspired by what surrounds us. We all have been teachers too. In one way or the other. Some of us more than others but I bet that if you think about it you will come up with things that you taught someone at some point, no matter how old you are.
Life is a classroom. We all are students and teachers at the same time. Everything we do, everything we observe is a lesson in itself. While some of us decide to make this their “real life” occupation, others are happy to just follow another path, maybe unaware that there’s still a teacher inside of them. Only when we become parents we realize that it’s been a part of us anyway.
What, though, makes a good teacher? What makes the difference between a teacher students like to listen to and want to give their very best for and a teacher everyone wants to walk out of?
I think it’s simple. It’s the same ingredient you need as a parent too:
I couldn’t agree more with Dr Debbie Silver.
It’s the quote most probably all of us have heard: Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Respect and like your students and they will respect and like you.
I often wonder why this is so hard.
I often wonder why so many parents seem to struggle with this so much. How can it be that we request respect and also affection if we are giving it back or paying it forward?
Sometimes I watch parents and how they treat their kids. It bugs me, the lack of respect. I do get that dealing with a toddler is not always easy. Hey, I’ve been there too. Twice! And yet, how can you teach them to respect you if you don’t show respect to them and their needs too. How can you demand their respect if you don’t treat them with respect?
It doesn’t mean that they can do whatever they please to do. Not at all. It’s the way we interact that makes a difference. If you have a disrespectful approach, how should the child learn to behave differently.
Kids are a mirror of what they see, what surrounds them.
If you want them to be respectful people than show them how it’s done. No matter if you are a teacher or a parent.