In my opinion there is no such thing as a small wedding ring. A wedding ring is a sign. A sign for something special and it will hold a special meaning for those people involved, no matter of the size, color, material or prize it has. It’s what I believe and so it always throws me off when a relationship is compared to the size of the wedding ring or it’s diamond. Today I read this post here and I found myself nodding my head while reading it. You can’t put a prize on a feeling and therefor you can’t compare this feeling to the value of an item. A wedding ring in this sense is nothing more than an item. The value of it should not be the money you pay for it but the meaning it has.
Reading the post mentioned above made me think of a post of a dear blogger friend of mine and a response post I wrote to it, which I would like to share here as a Blast From The Past.
I read Vanbytheriver’s post about diamonds, or better our connection to them. A really good post you should definitely read. Before you head over to her post though, let me share my thoughts on the subject. I love diamonds. I really do. But there’s something I just don’t get. Something that I’ve mentioned in my comment on Van’s post. It’s the pressure!
Yes, pressure is actually the reason diamonds become diamonds. While pressure creates a stunning rock out of charcoal, it can make or break us.
We’ve all been lead to believe that if we love or are loved a diamond is the one gift to give. Let’s just simply not get there, as Van already covered that in a great way. I just want to share a story.
Many years ago, right after my husband proposed to me, we spent a little time in New York. When he proposed he did not propose with a ring ready to be put on my finger. It was a very spontaneous proposal. Because we sort of left to the States only shortly after, we decided to look at rings while over there. Up until then I never really thought about the size of a ring or the shape of the diamond, as most of my friends were not married or were wearing the kind of ring that was usual for us back in the days: A “simple” gold (or white gold) wedding band.
One day we decided to go ring shopping. You might guess it: We didn’t buy.
It sort of hit me. When the person on the other side of the counter started showing us all the options I kept shaking my head. He kept explaining to us, what an important thing it would be to choose the right ring. He kept pointing out, that the diamond should be of a certain quality “as a beautiful woman deserves a beautiful diamond” and brought out ring after ring with bigger diamond after bigger diamond.
I kept thinking “what’s wrong with this world?”
That thought has never left me.
Why is it, that the quality of a person, the quality of a relationship has to be measured by the quality of a rock?
As I said it’s all about pressure.
Think about it! For me and my husband it only started when we wanted to buy the ring. I didn’t have friends who told me that the ring on my finger would have to be of a certain quality. I didn’t have friends that were wearing huge rocks on their fingers, telling me that my ring would have to be at least that size. I didn’t have friends that were unhappy with their wedding ring, complaining about not have been given a bigger one. My husband did not have friends who told him he had to buy a ring with a diamond of at least a certain quality, a certain price. He did not have a future wife pointing out that if she would not receive a huge diamond there would be something wrong with him. That he would be cheap. What we both had was a person in our group of friends who actually made her future husband return the ring and change to one with a bigger diamond.
Why is it that some feel they are not good enough, that the ring they’ve been given is not good enough? Why do some feel pressure to buy a ring that financially is totally out of your league, just because you fear to disappoint the person you love? What happened?
Now let me explain: I believe that not everyone thinks like this. But just look around! It’s been hammered into our brains! It’s the advertising, it’s the movie scene. When you propose you have to do it with a ring with a huge diamond. The guys need to spend a fortune on them to impress the ladies. Doesn’t it sound a bit off? Doesn’t it make you think of buying something (someone)?
I’m sure it’s not meant to be like this. And yes, a beautiful piece of jewelry is something fantastic. Just stop with the pressure! See it as what it is: A simply sign.
It is widely believed that the first examples of wedding rings were found in ancient Egypt. Relics dating back as far as 6,000 years ago, including papyrus scrolls, show us evidence of braided rings of hemp or reeds being exchanged among a wedded couple. Egypt viewed the circle as a symbol of eternity, and the ring served to signify the never-ending love between the couple. This was also the origin of the practice of wearing the wedding ring on the ring finger of the left hand, which the Egyptians believed to house a special vein that was connected directly to the heart, otherwise also known as Vena amoris. (Wikipedia)
It really shouldn’t be about the ring. It should be about what you feel and what you think of each other. It should be about your future and about what you will build together. It should be about your journey.
You can’t put a price on this.