She Doesn’t Work

This is a fantastic article about the many tasks of stay at home moms. We are like hamsters in wheels and on our feet doing things all day long. And yet we feel it’s not enough. We often feel uncomfortable when we say that we are a sahm. Our work doesn’t get recognized by many because it’s “invisible” and maybe also because it has no “price tag” attached to it as there is no salary involved.

I know it from my experience that the word “just” is often used when I explain what I do. So in that sense I talk myself and the role I have down. But why?

Why can’t we be proud of what we do? Why don’t stay at home parents get the recognition they deserve? 

Just because society demands you to spend a set amount of hours in an office somewhere, doing a certain amount of hours of work outside your home and get paid for it? 

What about the impact we have on our kids by being there for and with them? How and why did something that was so normal become so weird? 

Stay at home parents don’t sit around at home and watch TV all day. They work hard taking care of their families. It’s something that needs to be recognized. 

17 thoughts on “She Doesn’t Work

  1. It’s insane how stay-at-home parents get no recognition. I’ve seen what parents have to go through with their kids; it isn’t a simple task even without a job.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The job is under-rated. That’s a hell lot of work to do as sahm; it’s thankless. I wish it’s the case of lounge around all day, watching TV. Lol. If only. But I guess that’s possible if we are filthy rich and can afford to hire lots of nanny and domestic help…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The job is under-rated. That’s a hell lot of work to do as sahm; it’s thankless. I wish it’s the case of lounge around all day, watching TV. Lol. If only. But I guess that’s possible if we are filthy rich and can afford to hire lots of nanny and domestic help…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry that there are people out there that make you feel guilty for being a sahm. It is what it is, most of them are probably just jealous. They resent their husbands for not making enough that they too can stay home with their kids and take care of the family. I personally give mad kudos to you. I was a sahm for 1 year and that was plenty for me. I needed to work outside of the house. Now, I do nearly everything a sahm mom does, minus the taking care of the kids during the day part and I work 40 hours a week. You do you and don’t worry what others have to say about it.

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    • I admire you ladies, working and taking care of everything. I work full time throughout January and love it. Crazy hours but it sort of feels like a break and I don’t mean that in a mean way. It simply energised me to do something different. And then I’m happy to be back home with everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

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  5. You have the most important job in the world! You have to manage the house and find ways to live off one income! It takes a lot of courage to decide to live off one salary and it’s a decision most are not willing to make. I say forget them. I work but it’s the choice I made for our family and it is no better than anyone else’s choice of job with or without salary. I wish others u Der stood the sacrifices and the benefits you make for your family when becoming a SAHM. Great job โ˜บ

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    • Thanks. What “bothers” me is that we cannot simply respect each other’s decisions or ways of living without criticising. I have heaps of respect for working moms as they lift double the weight.


  6. I am glad slowly people are becoming more aware about the intensity of work that is managed by stay-at-home parents. A 24 hour job with virtually no thanks – high time we turn that around.

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  7. I had four kids, 2 step children and 2 of my own. Was I a stay at home mum? For a few years yes, because the kids needed me, they were babies and we all know what working at home means: washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking and of course being the domestic goddess caring for everyone. I am talking about something like roughly 40 years ago. I just want to say that when my kids were at the school age, I was no longer a stay at home mum.There was quite an easy reason why. We needed the money. One wage did not cover everything for a 6 person family, so I went back to work. You know my first job was the only cook in a “kinderkrippe” a place where kids were looked after while their parents went to work and I was lucky that my two youngest could also be there. My son was autistic, so he was at a weekly intern school, only coming home for holidays and week-ends. They were given breakfast and dinner in the Krippe and in between meals and looked after with games, walks etc. etc. I had no choice, we needed the money. After a few years I changed my job and returned to office work and stayed for 30 years. I no longer was dependent on the money, but my kids no longer needed me on a 24 hour basis. By the way I spent my free time at home catching up on what I could not do because I was working to earn money. Just saying.

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    • And that’s what I mean when I say working moms carry double the weight. It doesn’t stop by “simply” going to work. It continues with taking care of everything a sahm does.


  8. I totally agree. Just as I agree that working moms should get a lot of credit too, because they have to get all the daily work done AFTER working a full 8-10 hours outside of the home. Work is work, and we should all be respectful of everyone’s roles in life.


  9. My wife sometimes gets depressed because her mental health issues prevent her from having a “paying” job but I keep telling her that what she does, managing the family and taking care of the household, is indeed hard work and something she should give herself credit for managing.


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