I took my daughter to a birthday party yesterday and while watching them get rid of their energy by climbing walls, towers and other interesting object in one of the indoor climbing facilities I had a chat with one of the other moms. We talked about how the girls have met and the friendship they have between each other. She then mentioned how much the birthday girl meant to her daughter. That her daughter sees the birthday girl as her best friend but that it was not the same for the host than for her baby. She explained that although the birthday girl really appreciates the friendship with her daughter she knows that it’s on a different level.
Friendships can be like that, I guess. Being there and talking about this made me think of my best friend and the relationship we have and used to have. And while I did this I thought, that it’s all about the perspective we have and our expectations. Maybe the birthday girl thinks exactly the same way about the friendship to this other girl. But maybe she simply has a different way of showing it. So I remembered a post I wrote about a similar thought and would like to share it as a Blast From The Past with you today. I wonder what your take is. Do you think we can actually value something the same way but life it in a very different way?
What seems to be 100% for some might not seem that way for others. It’s a lesson I’ve learned over the years. Something I stated in a comment to Sobadass.me on one of her posts. Great blog, by the way, you should check it out!
You might wonder where I’m going with this, so let me tell you.
In her post Sam mentions that she always gives 100% but sometimes feels like she does not receive it from others. Well, in short. You need to read the entire post. Right away I could totally relate to what she said. At the same time everything inside of me screamed “but”!
So here is my “but”: Sometimes it’s simply different than what you think it is.
As simple as that.
What seems to be 100% for us might not be the same for others. What seems less than 100% might seem to be the full load for others. It’s something I found out thanks to a friend of mine.
I always felt like I was giving her 100%. I tried to stay in touch, I tried to be there for her, I tried to be a good friend. And she appreciated it. But I always thought I would not get the same back. I felt she was not trying to stay in touch as much as I did. I felt like I did not receive the support I was giving her. I felt like for her our friendship was not as important than it was for me.
I was wrong.
She was the one who was always there for me. Through think and thin. Through all the ups and downs. She always gave and still gives 100%. Just in her way. And I learned what her way is.
Learning and accepting that we all have our own and unique way of giving and taking was a big lesson in my life. Probably the biggest lesson in regards to friendship but also for many other areas of my life too. It made me see the value of this friendship in an entirely different light.
It’s important that we try to see the situation form the other person’s perspective before we just simply guess. We are all very different. Not only in the way we look.