Confidence

I consider this one of the most important lessons to teach my children. It’s a big step to get to the point where you don’t care about what other people think of you. It takes a lot to get to the point where you feel confident enough to not let other people’s opinions get to you. Where you simply know that you are good enough. Where you simply know that what you do is the right thing to do. Where you can say “I don’t care what you think”.

It’s one of the biggest hurdles to overcome if you are programmed to actually think everyone else’s opinion matters. To realize that the fact that you worry about what they might think is actually hindering you from be who you truly are.

I’m not talking about bulldozing people over here. This is of course a very different way of not caring for others. It’s about knowing that you are good enough and that your decisions are good enough.

I want my children to know that it is not important what other people think of you. If you live your life the right way and stick to your values you will attract the right people. You will have people in your life that are good for you and you will be good for them. But if you worry about the opinion of others you will not be free. You will not be true to yourself. And automatically you will be surrounded by people who will act like vampires, sucking your energy from you and not caring about you getting weaker. They will use you. I want my children to not get to that point.

I want them to care for the ones that are worth it. I want them to build the ones up that are worth it. I want them to be there for them as much as they are there for my children. I want it to be a natural give and take action. One that is not built on expectations but rather on trust and inspiration.

I want them to know that they will be fine even if people don’t like them. I want them to know that the right people will like them if they like themselves. And you can only like yourself if you are yourself.

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14 thoughts on “Confidence

    • Thank you, Van. I think it is more than ever. With all the outlets we have now, not letting the opinion of others affect us is truly difficult. I feel there is a steady bombardment of everyone’s opinion and it takes a lot to swim against it.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Loved the post.
    I just turned 20 but till two years ago, I’d been underconfident for a very long time in my life. I don’t know why. Anyway, I know exactly what you were saying in the post and I felt like I could connect to it.
    I really think its important for people to reach that stage where they know what it’s like to be surrounded by the kind of people who are sucking all of your energy off you. You realise then that caring about what people think is what got you into this.
    I mean of course, no one would want their children to be in that spot. Its a valuable lesson though, don’t you think?
    Beautiful post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sandra, that is so true today. You can please no one but yourself if you want to be true to yourself. Others may like what you do and become friends, but you should not worry about what others think of you. Haters gonna hate no matter what and they’re not the people we want to be around.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think I have taught my kids this lesson. My way of expressing to them it is that, in the end, the only opinion that counts, the only one that you will have to live with for the rest of your life, is your own. It’s just not always easy to put this mindset into practice, and it takes practice to be able to fully implement it all the time and every single time. In the meantime, unfortunately, they’ll still have painful experiences. I still have some of those myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree. I’m doing a little challenge at the moment where I stand in front of the mirror every morning telling myself in a loud voice that I’m beautiful and I’m enough (I do add that I got this and that I have the power). For 30 days. It feels weird but I want it to get to the point where I actually believe it and live it. Are you in?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. For myself, at this later stage in life, where I have already endured most of the trials and tribulations that would damage my self confidence, I just tell myself that I’ll be OK. That’s enough to keep me going and forging ahead, whether or not I perform to my own expectations. I guess I keep “lowering the bar” and “moving the schedule to the right” when it comes to achieving any of my goals these days!

    Liked by 1 person

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