Dancing is such a beautiful thing to do. And it makes you feel better, doesn’t it? I know you can dance and be sad, you can dance and cry while you do, but in a way it always lifts the weigh off your shoulders.
I love to dance. I always did. I danced for fun and to flirt. You know… we all do that occasionally, right? But I did it in an innocent way. It was more of a chance to escape an awkward conversation somewhere in a corner of a dark room. So I danced, and however wanted to start a conversation could simply join me and then start talking.
When I was a bit more mature in and in my mid twenties we had this group of people working together and also going out together having fun. It was usually about having dinner together maybe heading somewhere where there was a pool table and play a bit and then going out for drinks and a bit of dancing. It was a good group of friends. Some were in a relationship and every now and then their partners would come along too but usually when we were working at an event our partners were usually not around. It was a group to feel safe in, to laugh hard and talk about many things. Of course there were other people working alongside of us, different people working the different events with us as a core group. They came along, we “invited them in” and we always had a great time.
One day a guy who only worked that one event with us joined in. I found him very weird from the very beginning. I still remember how his glance felt when I was on the dance floor with my friends and he was standing in a corner, leaning against the wall and watching me. It was that kind of guy who felt irresistible and had some sort of success with women. I never understood why. Neither did I find him attractive nor interesting to be around. He had a french accent so maybe that helped him too. Anyway… This guy stood there for a long time and just watched. When we then stopped dancing for a while and had drinks he sat down next to me when my friend got up and started a light conversation.
I’m a people person and I love having chats. I also am that kind of person who tries to see the good in everyone and everything so I figured I just chat with him although him watching me didn’t feel good at all. It for sure helped that my friends where all there with me. So after having a small talk for a little bit he explained to me that you can always see how good some is in bed when watching them dance. And he told me that he thinks I’m a great dancer…
I don’t know about you, but I found it completely out of line. What a stupid pick up line! I don’t remember what exactly I said. Probably something like “oh, okay” before I turned around looked at one of my best friends and told him that he needs to help me get a drink. My friend and I had that thing going that we never questioned why when one of us said that “we need to help doing something”. It was kind of a code for both of us that we wanted to remove ourselves from a situation and talk to each other about it. That’s what we did. I have to say that my friend was also a bit of a womanizer. But he didn’t get that approach. So for the rest of the night he shielded me off and he kept doing it for the rest of the event.
And for those of you who wonder now: Yes, we have also played the slow dance together pretending we are a couple card on occasion. Never was there more than a deep friendship between us which is still there today.
The remark that guy made left a bit of a mark. Ever since that night I don’t feel as free anymore when I dance because I often wonder what kind of signals I’m sending. But then I do not go out dancing anymore so I might as well get over it now. It is in my mind though when I watch my daughter now who loves to dance and will soon reach the age where she will go out dancing too.
I love to watch her dance but every now and then I wonder what certain guys might see when they watch her. What signal they think they will get, what kind of things they will see in her movements. And it makes me feel slightly sick.
He probably thought he made me a huge compliment, as sleazy as it was. I also know that he thought it would be a door opener for him to get me to his room. What still baffles me till today is that some men seem to think women work like that. What baffles me too is that it seems to work. Why else would he have said it? And why not using a nice compliment like “I love the way you move on the dancefloor”?
So I for sure hope that my daughter will never lose her passion for dancing and for sure not because of an idiot like that. I also hope that she will never have to hear a stupid remark like the one I had to listen to. I hope that she will keep dancing and that all the remarks she will get will be “clean” compliments.
When it comes down to me: I love dancing at home while my favorite music plays and then I can let myself go as well. And I love my every now and then dance in the rain or in the park too 😉