“I was telling my daughter…” was how the message started. It was a message that was sent to me by one of the couple of people I consider my “inner circle” here in Australia. I know her for a couple of years now, all thanks to our daughters. She is one of those women that fill the room with warmth. But she is also a tough nut. She is honest and straight forward. And I guess that’s why people just simply love and trust her. She is also one of the few who know who the Momma behind this blog actually is. So after I posted my “Sleepovers” post she reached out to me. Because that’s who she is. She tells you… and don’t you like it when one of your posts provokes a reaction? So here is what she had to say:
“I was telling my daughter about your post about sleep overs and saying how some children don’t like to sleep over (my son’s friend often comes with all his sleepover stuff but then by 10pm decides he would rather be at home, it’s no biggie) because they just love their own beds and how it can make them feel awkward and that they might worry people think they are a “baby” or a “scardey-cat”… and before I could finish explaining she chipped in and said: “No Mum , they aren’t baby like or scaredey-cat like, they are actually very brave for standing up and saying when they aren’t comfortable, it’s not easy to say at 10 o’clock at night you want to go home…”
She made me very proud…. your blog created a good conversation with her and our boy about not doing what doesn’t feel comfortable. I used another friend’s analogy where they quoted: “When we walk into a forest we see all the tree’s and admire how beautiful they are for all their different shapes, sizes, colors and the like… we see a bent one and think ah yes, that one needed more light so grew bent this way… for example… and we just accept and admire each tree… when we meet fellow humans we don’t do this, we immediately judge and think… they are too tall or small or fat or not the same in some way… so when I meet people I try to imagine them as tree’s and just accept and admire and enjoy their unique beauty…”
We all encourage our mini people to stretch themselves and test their boundaries and challenge themselves but if something really doesn’t make them comfortable or they don’t enjoy it…. or they look to give something away, like a hobby or a toy or game or teddy… because they fear they will be judged…. it takes just as much stretching and testing and challenge to remain true to themselves and say “no thank you!” or “I don’t want to” or “yes that is my teddy” etc….
So well done you for listening to your mini people and what they as individuals enjoy rather than encouraging them to push on through their discomfort to fit some people’s expectations….
Soon enough they will be away from our homes more than in them as their lives grow even more and expand….there is no rush!
Enjoy your Thursday you lovely person you. XxxxXxxxX”
Needless to say that her comment felt like one big massive hug (and she is really good in hugging…) and made me think even more about how important it is to truly listen to your kids. And the tree analogy? You know me by now and you all definitely know how much I like that one!!!