#atozchallenge – N for Normal

Normal is a very big word. Don’t you think? Because let’s be honest: We all kind of define normal in a different way. Yes, I agree, there are the standard norms that society dictates, which in itself can already be challenging, but then it quickly starts getting complicated. Just think about how often we use the word “normal” when we tell a story, describe and compare something…

I can’t stop thinking about an episode I encountered when my daughter was not even 2 yet. She was a bigger baby, and by bigger I don’t mean it in a negative way. She was a big baby. The kind of baby that is hard work to give birth to. Not the normal (see, there it is…) kind of size baby. While in baby swimming class, which was just a normal thing to do back then, I met a group of women. Some were Australians, one was Canadian, one was American and one was Eastern European. Now we all were normal looking moms but the Easter European one, who seemed rather skinny. Our kids were quite similar in shape and size. We got along. It was normal to hang out for a cup of coffee after swimming and often we caught up for a coffee outside of the baby swimming. While most of the moms in that class were first moms, my American friend already had a son who was about my son’s age. So that was pretty handy. But back to my Eastern European friend…

Now she has a couple of degrees. She is a smart cookie. And she knows it. While I’m still in contact with her, I wouldn’t say we are friends. We don’t catch up. It’s the random “hi, how are you” every now and then. There are many reasons for it but I guess they can all be listed under one topic: Going to far.

One morning we caught up for coffee and I was handing my daughter a snack. It was not an unhealthy snack. It was the normal fruit and biscuit combination most moms offered their kids during the morning. And then the lecture started. I was told that I need to cut out this and that from my daughters diet. That it was not normal that she was such a big baby and that I need to watch out. Funny enough I just had a visit at the nurse the day before for our regular check (something that is done here in Australia) and she said that my girl is well underway.

I don’t know why people think it’s okay to tell other people what they have to do. But looking at the pictures of this woman’s daughter on Facebook now I can tell you that I’m sometimes tempted to write to her and say that I think it’s not normal how thin her girl is. That I’m worried about her skinny thin arms and that I wonder if she is feeding her enough. But that would be bitchy… Looking and listening to some moms I see I wonder though, if that would not make me more normal… And then I wonder if I actually want to be normal…