Blast From The Past – For You, My Son

He is sitting next to me, reading his book. I’m joking. Asking him if he would read to me. He just looks at me with this “are you serious” kind of look. I answer him that I am and he just laughs and shakes his head. He keeps reading. And then he stops, looks at me and asks me if I’m serious. If I am he would be happy to read to me. And I see the love he has for me in his eyes. I smile at him and tell him that it’s okay. Just keep reading.

I can’t help myself watching him from the corner of my eyes. He has grown up so much. My little boy is a teenager. A teenager who doesn’t need his mom as much anymore as he used to and still does so much. A teenager who still happily cuddles, hugs and kisses his mom, even in public. A teenager who has just scored his first job and is doing great in it. A teenager who talks so much “rubbish” with his friends. A teenager with a deep voice and a good humor. A smart, polite young man. And still… He needs me. He needs his dad. Somewhere in there is still a little boy and most likely will always be.

While I think about all of this so many memories come up. So please forgive me that I share this Blast From The Past today. I just can’t help myself ;-)…

Where did my baby go? The little baby boy I immediately had a deep connection with? I look up and see a wonderful teenage boy. A young man in the making. A young man, a teenage boy I still feel deeply connected to. Somewhere in there, I’m sure, still sits this wonderful little baby boy you were just a couple of years ago. Oh you are still wonderful, don’t get me wrong! You will always be, even when you are a grown up man.

Crazy… if I add the same amount of years to your age now that you already spent on this planet then you actually will be a grown up man…

Time flies. It really does. And I guess you only truly notice when you have kids. Sometimes it’s almost like you walked around the corner and everything is suddenly different. I feel like I could make one step back and peek around that corner and see you there, not able to walk yet, discovering your toys by sticking them in your mouth, rolling around. Falling asleep on my chest or in a very comfortable pose on Dad’s arm. But those times are really over. You no longer fit on this arm and if you would fall asleep on my chest it would probably be pretty uncomfortable.

Funny how we have so many little things to celebrate when the kids are little. The first smile, the first little giggle, being able to lift the head up, then being able to roll over, army crawl and sit and move around in whatever way possible way to finally find the strength to stand up and walk. And then it all begins. From there it speeds up. You walk, you run, you talk, you grow, you get smarter by the minute. And then you are a teenager.

I was always proud of you, my son. You were always amazing. Many of our friends, many of the people you encountered mentioned that you are an old soul in a little boys body. You always listened. You were always polite and respectful. You have values.

I always felt it was easy with you. Some times I called things to be challenges but honestly, you so far have never truly challenged us. You are incredibly wise for your age. You’ve always been. You and your Dad seem to have the even stronger bond than you and I do. Maybe not stronger, just different. A connection only a father and his son can have. It never made me jealous. I never felt excluded. It made me happy to see, it made me proud. The two of you solved issues you and I would have not been able to solve. And that’s okay. We all need each other. We all support each other and we all build each other up. We are there for each other.

Yes, you do go crazy. You tease your sister, you tease your Dad, you tease me. You have to! I want you too, I need you too. After all you are still a kid. Even when you are all grown up, don’t stop being crazy every now and then. Dance in the rain, sing, make your jokes, tease, giggle. Enjoy this life of yours. Stay fair.

Your life is still only young. There will be so much more you will encounter. Together with us, on your own but hopefully always knowing that we will be always there for you. I truly hope that you keep listening to your instincts, keep making wise decisions. Keep looking up and enjoy the world that is around you. Keep smelling the flowers and keep making others aware of what is around us too. Keep connecting with people, the way you always connected with them. Keep choosing your friends as wisely as you did so far. Keep hugging and kissing and cuddling us. It means so much to all of us. Stay who you truly are. Always!

Words cannot describe my love for you. I can’t tell you enough how very proud I am of you. I’ve always been and I know deep down inside I always will be. You are an amazing person. My little baby boy, my boy, my son: I love you and I’m so happy that you are my son!

Inspired by the Daily Post Daily Prompt – Connected

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