Blast From The Past – Outer Layers

Some things never change… this is one of them. I’m not comfortable buying cloths because I feel lost. I don’t really know what to chase and when I’m out there I feel overwhelmed. I’d probably be the perfect customer for a personal stylist…

What story do the things you wear tell about you?

In short probably that I’m a jeans, t-shirt and yoga pants person… Is that a good thing? Is that how I define my style? Not so sure about that…

I think if what I wear would describe my personality I would most probably be labeled “lost”.

Here is my dilemma: I don’t feel comfortable when shopping for cloths. I often wonder if I truly have a style. And what it is… I like my jeans, I like my t-shirts, I like my yoga pants. And at the same time I like my dresses, my skirts, my heels. Problem is, that I wear jeans, t-shirts and yoga pants 90% of the time. Or even more…


Image result for meme sahm yoga pants

Heading out to buy cloths feels almost stressful for me. The problem is that I know exactly what I want but then I will not find it. And I can’t let go of the idea of what I want and move on to something I can actually find. So I go back home, empty handed and honestly slightly frustrated for not having found anything again.

Somewhere in my life I also picked up the little bug in my ear, telling me that I don’t look good in this or that. And it sits there and keeps telling me. I only own dresses because of my husband. It was him who convinced me to buy them.

I remember standing in the fitting room, trying on yet another pair of jeans when he came over with a couple of dresses and asked me to try them on. I looked at him and told him that I could not wear them, that they would not look good on me. He simply said he would like to see if it’s true. I was wrong. They actually looked pretty good on me. I could totally wear them (I don’t wear them often enough, but hey, summer is just around the corner from us now).

What I wear on a daily base tells another story too. It tells the story of a mother of homeschooled children. A SAHM. Not that I think they all dress alike. But it tells my story. The story of getting up in the morning, knowing that I only have to get out of the house to walk the dogs. So yoga pants it is. Then I’m home making breakfast. Yoga pants. Then it’s about doing something outside with the kids and most of the time yoga pants still fit the occasion. Sometimes I might change into my jeans…

I like it comfortable. But I like to dress up. At some point dressing up became attached to something special. I do dress differently when I head out to the kids activities but if I compare myself to the other moms there I often think I could put more effort in. Then I realize as well that most of them came right from work. A workplace that expects them to wear blouses, skirts and high heels. A workplace that expects them to wear makeup.

And I’m glad I don’t have to. As pretty as they all look.

My lost is not lost. It’s just confused. It’s being torn between wearing what is comfortable and wearing what is been seen as sexy, career focused, modern. I’m a woman, so of course I would like to have it all. But what does define ME?

Do I need outer layers to define ME?

If so, which ones are the real Me?

Do I still need outer layers to sell an image of me?

Recently some guy made a comment about shirts for a girls sports team. He mentioned that they should go for the one style “as it’s cut to highlight the female body therefor would give the girls a fantastic feeling”… I almost got sick hearing this… While the wheels in my head were still turning trying to process what I just heard, especially coming from a mid 40 year old guy talking about 10-18 year old girls, another woman in the round spoke up. She looked at him and asked him if he’s serious. “Do you see what women wear? Do you really think it feels comfortable wearing all this shit? Do you really think we wear it because we feel comfortable in it? Now you want to bring this to our sport as well? This is about sport and not about a catwalk!”

With this she said it all. Most of the time it’s not about what we truly want to wear and what we consider our style. It’s about what we are supposed to wear. Don’t get me wrong. I know that you can feel good in a skirt and a blouse and high heels too. But I’m sure that most of us at least take off the high heels the moment we get home…

Our outer layers are often chosen to sell an image of ourselves to the world. The image of power, of control, of beauty, of freedom. Our outer layers are part of a mask we put on. We choose to put on. A mask that suits the purpose but hides the vulnerable side we all have.

Outer layers don’t define us. They might give you a hint of who we want to be, maybe want we want to achieve, but they are not who we really are.

I’d like to leave you with this comment and an amazing TEDtalk I highly recommend and I’ve shared before:

“The message to women in society is the same: You are valued for how you look, not for what is in your heart or in your head.” – Tracy Spicer

Outer Layers

17 thoughts on “Blast From The Past – Outer Layers

  1. I know what you mean here, this modern approach has left me behind too. I like things simple and often plain and comfortable but it seems the clothing industry no longer does this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hate shopping for clothes and shoes. When we went down for my mammogram, we went into one of the discount clothes stores that aren’t local here and stocked up with 2 pairs of joggers each and some tee shirts. We both badly need socks, but do you think we can find anything sensibly priced that doesn’t stop the circulation????
    Our clothes are clean, and comfortable. We don’t ‘dress up’, though if I’m out to darts, it’s jeans and the team shirt. Guess we might be considered cheapskates, scruffs, or untidy. Never judge a book and all that…………………………..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh never judge that book. I agree. Problem is that people do judge. I had that conversation with one of the dance moms yesterday. We both wear a lot of Target stuff and we sort of stand out in the crowd where our girls dance. But I just think it’s silly to pay $50 or more for a simple t-shirt just because a label comes with it… rather spend MUCH less and can spend the difference on something else or keep it.


  3. I think that quote is a huge lie and we know it. I’m home bound and I went to a company which has a stylist work with you. I can’t remember where you live but not sure they deliver Internationally. There site is great just to look at, it shows clothes together and ways to wear the differently. I really like them, I gave them a price range, things I didn’t want sent like jewelry. One the schedule you pick they send five items, if you don’t like any just return and only get charged $20. If you keep anything the $20 is waived. They also sell extras like camisoles and panties which out as items. Last shipment I didn’t like anything but since I had purchased some panties and camisoles it counted towards my $20. Take a look around, the stylist pages are great in matching clothes for your body type. You don’t have to buy anything to learn from their site. Good luck. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Okay, that sounds good but I’m a bit torn re the $20 you have to pay. On the other side it’s covering the shipping I assume or do you pay that? I have a skincare business and our customers have a 60 day money back satisfaction guarantee. If they don’t like the products they get the money back (all they lose is shipping on the return). So I’m interested to hear about other companies and their policies.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Stitch Fix doesn’t work with others partners. But Amazon now has a site that help small businesses get exposure to build their business. is another site-very nice, it’s all handmade products from around the world. You could look on website to see who it all works out. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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