Chase Your Dream – But What If You Don’t Want To?

There was this discussion in a truly inspiring group recently. The idea of the group is to strive for more. To make yourself the best possible version of you you can possibly be and to dream big and go after your dreams. Simply. Easy.

Or is it?

There was this one person in the group that threw everyone off probably. Her remark was straight forward:

“I have worked hard all my life and always enjoyed my work. I have the best husband in the world and my kids make us more than proud. They have it all together. We live in a beautiful place and I love volunteering in the community. My friends are wonderful. I really don’t have any dreams. Nothing I feel I need to accomplish to feel better. I love my body the way it is. I love my life and where I’m at at the moment. Someone said that I might have to dream bigger but I wouldn’t even know where to start. I live my dream. It’s all there.”

It got really interesting after that. The “maybe you need to set your eyes on a bigger goal” came up, the “but there must be something you want to still achieve, see or do” was dropped. People said that they don’t really believe her because it simply can’t be that you don’t feel like chasing after or achieving something.

All I could think of was the word “content”.

How content must this lady be. What a happy place to be in. And then I started thinking about the quest people are in. The race after “the better”. A better version of you, a better life, a better work-life balance, a better body, a better job, a better lifestyle… the list could go on and on.

Dream bigger… don’t settle for second best… reach higher.

What if you don’t want to? What if the place you are in is exactly where you want to be? And why do you have to rectify it? Why do you have to explain to others that you don’t have dreams. Why does it make people feel sorry for you? Why is it not good enough for them? And does it really matter that they don’t see and understand what you do?

Once again we find each other in the position of explaining ourselves although we shouldn’t have to. Really, your life is nobody’s business but yours. Don’t get me wrong, please! I’m all for empowerment. Nothing beats empowering people. As long as they need it. As long as they want it.

So why is it that people question us, our decisions, our intentions, especially if it seems to be out of the norm? Because once again this is what it’s about, don’t you think? After all it’s not normal to not have dreams, cravings, things we feel miss in our life. So there is an attempt to box it up. Put it in the same drawer everything else is in because it’s convenient. Much more convenient than accepting that someone is just different. Unique! Happy! Content!

Let them be.

This person doesn’t feel any stress in her life. No pressure, no rush. She lives her life happily. Yet people tell her to come up with a dream and she almost feels like she is doing something wrong. As if she has to create a dream to chase after. With this comes pressure. Pressure to fit in, pressure to find something she can dream of. Then there is stress. Stress and frustration because she can’t find anything. Or maybe it will not feel big enough for her. And then she would have to start chasing it. Start running after a goal she never felt she has to set for herself. All because other people felt she needed it.

I really hope she is not letting others pressuring her into this. I really hope she keeps living her happy and content life and that she feels proud to have reached this point in her life where she can say “I have it all, all I ever wanted.”

23 thoughts on “Chase Your Dream – But What If You Don’t Want To?

  1. I hope she continues the way she is too. Too many people seem to believe it’s impossible to be happy with your life, and just because they always want bigger and better, doesn’t mean you have to. After all, when you get bigger and better, what’s next, biggerer and betterer?
    I love my life. I have a husband who loves me to pieces, a nice home, Maggie of course, and we are making friends here. Money is tight, but it’s not an issue because we have everything we need or want, though we do on occasion have some “wistful” thinking.

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  2. I never considered there was anything wrong with me. I longed for retirement and got it at age 71. The four years since have been marvelous — no pressure, no deadlines. The days are not long enough for me to do everything I’d like, but I never sit around wondering what to do next.

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    • I think it’s just not “in” to enjoy the small things… How sad is that??? That after a lifetime of working with and around pressure suddenly we find ourselves under pressure again because we should “do more” with the time we now finally have???

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  3. I love this. Sometimes I think I don’t dream big enough but I realize I’m pretty happy and content with where I am and maybe that’s ok. You absolutely can be living out your dreams.

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  4. How I agree. I wrote a blog a while ago – ‘Opting Out’ – realising that is what I have done to a certain extent. The opposite of aiming high is realising you and the ‘worthwhile career’ you have started on are not getting on, even on the bottom rung, let alone aspiring to success – best to get out. Some of us are better with the simple life. The best things in life are free; standing on the cliff top in a howling gale ( me this morning ) or going round to friends for tea and cake. I want to keep writing, but I’m not bothered if I never go on a cruise or visit the Great Wall of China.
    We have just finished watching a TV production of Vanity Fair – Thackeray introduced each episode with the words
    ‘A world where everyone is striving for what is not worth having.’

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  5. I came across this filming in Africa where they were implementing upliftment programmes and dragging communities into the first world. Many told me they didn’t want water and leccy in their houses with the accompanying bills, that caused stress – the wanted to be left alone to live as they had for centuries. Makes you think.

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    • Each to their own, right? We all have different dreams. For some it’s to be able to just finally stay at home and take up gardening. For others it’s traveling the world and for some it’s heading out to volunteer… so important to follow YOUR dreams and let others push you into theirs.

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  6. I am so relieved to discover that I am not the only person who has no dreams or goals to speak of. Thanks for sharing this story which was buttressed by comments from some of your followers, too.

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    • I think it’s really about how happy you are with the life you are living. And isn’t it beautiful if you are so happy that you don’t really chase after dreams anymore but dream of continue to be able to live this life you live?

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