Special is an interesting word. It can mean something good or something bad. It can be seen as a compliment or as a way of describing something which you are not really sure of, not really sure if you think it’s good or bad.
Every now and then I look at my life and have to admit, that I did some things in a special way, in a different way compared to what the norm was.
Yeah, I guess I am special!
I had red hair, still have, and that kind of made me special. The odd one out if you want so. I was able to go away over the summer holidays and we had horses. Again, something special. Then I got older. I decided to drop out of university and start working for events. Just for myself. Once again it was labeled a “special decision”. I had a long distance relationship for a couple of years that was also seen as special. And eventually I met my husband and got married to him after only 6 months of knowing each other. “Special” was probably the nicest word that came to mind when people thought of me back then…
I remember that people thought it was a special decision from us to live a 30min drive away from where we worked. In Switzerland this was considered a long commute. I often laugh about it now as a 20-30min commute is the norm here.
But it didn’t stop there. We decided to move country. Not in Europe, not simply across the boarder. Nope. All the way to Australia. Almost as far away as you can possibly get. Once again a “special” decision. Today I look back on over 10 special years in Australia with my special family. I look back on over 40 special years in my life. I run a special business and write a special blog. I post my special live videos on Facebook and think all of my friends are special.
Special is in the eye of the beholder. What one thinks is weird the other considers the best thing ever. For me, all those special moments, those special decisions make my life the special kind of happy it is. We don’t have to live a life others agree with. Yes, we do have to fit in but that doesn’t mean that we have to give up on our values, our ways, our personality, our dreams. It doesn’t mean we have to do it like everyone else does it.
Be courageous enough to be special.
Sometimes it’s not easy, actually it’s probably hard. Being special starts with deciding to actually be you and that can mean to also go against everything you learned. You grow up trying to please. Please everyone. Your parents, your teachers, your partner, your friends, your family. You want them to be proud of you. Usually that means you have to be someone they want you to be. But is that someone also the person you want to be? Or do you simply conform? In an ideal world the person they want to see and the person you want to be is the same. But often enough it’s not. And then you find yourself tackling all those expectations thrown at you from left, right and center. And that’s where the spiral begins.
That’s where you start swimming against the flow rather than with it. That’s when it starts getting tiring. And you might not even be aware of it.
It’s hard to find to yourself. It’s hard to admit that you are not the person the people closest to you want to see. But let’s be honest: If they truly love you, they will love the true you. If they really care for you and not just for themselves, they want to see you grow into your own happy self. And if they’re not happy with it, then it’s never been about you. Then it’s been about them. And that’s a battle you will never be able to fight. So don’t.
Let them be. Detach yourself from their expectations and start living your life.