Do you sometimes wonder as well why some relationships work and others don’t? Why some people who seem to be made for each other just simply don’t click or grow apart? Why others who seem so totally opposite work so well as a couple? Do you sometimes wonder what the magic ingredient is that makes a relationship last for decades? I just recently had a little chat with my daughter about this. At the moment she loves to play getting married with her Barbies (yes, we are still playing Barbie together…) and one day after we finished she looked at me and asked how it’s possible that some people break up why others relationship lasts forever.
It’s hard to answer this. Of course there are some ingredients that need to be there like love, mutual respect and attraction. But what don’t we all start there? So I tried to find the right words to explain that couples all start off more or less with the same things that connect them. But over time things change and that it depends on how they deal with it and how willing they are to grow together. I realized how hard it is to explain it, especially to a girl who so far only knows love for her parents, brother and friends.
I’d like to share a Blast Of The Past with you in regards to this. Some additional thoughts I had in relation to the same subject when I discussed it with my son. And I’d love to hear what your thoughts are…
I mentioned previously in a post: I’m in a really good place at the moment and I feel there is a lot of good heading my way. A lot of things have changed and will continue to change and I’m so ready for it.
While change is not always easy, it’s necessary. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it feels easy but most of the time it’s also scary. It needs a little push, a deep breath, maybe you need to close your eyes and “jump”. But once the first step is made things start falling into place. I like to share a post from a while back with you sharing some thoughts about change and how you can be the change…
Yeah, it has happened again. Maybe I should start a series called “observations on the train”. I guess I would repeat myself too often though… But while heading in to tick off my last shift for the AO2018 there they were again. Different guys. Same behavior and it made me think of this post…
I’m back. Back in my special time of my year. The month in which people are on summer break and enjoy the beach. Or then they, just like me, work on getting everything ready and make it run smoothly for one of the most amazing events in this world. While last year the team consisted of half new and half returning people this year all but 4 are new. And once again it amazes me how amazing all those young people I work with are. They are fun, they are polite, they have an amazing work ethic. All of them have one thing in common: They make you feel good. And I think it’s the vibe people feel when they arrive. It’s why our Slam is called the Happy Slam. I don’t want to repeat myself but rather share a post from last year as a Blast From The Past…
The Holidays are here. It’s a busy time. And a time of reflection. Maybe more than ever I wonder who real people truly are, especially now. How much is just a mask, just an act. Let’s face it. This time of the year is supposed to be the happy time. We are supposed to be cheerful and motivated. But the reality is often a different one…
For so many this time of the year is hard. They struggle. They are exhausted from life, from their struggles and most likely also from trying to act as if nothing is wrong. Maybe they even try to reach out, try to make you understand that they don’t feel their best. But it is lost. Lost in the business of this time.
I sure hope all of you are fine. I hope that you are happy at this time and that you can enjoy the holidays. That your reflections will be good ones, the kind of thoughts that will make you grow. I hope you will spend the next couple of days with people you love, people who love you and understand you. I hope that you will reach out to people close to you if you ever struggle but also be there for people when they do and see, hear or feel the little signs.
Most of all I hope you don’t have to fake it. And I’d like to share some thoughts about faking it in the form of a Blast From The Past now. But before I do:
Happy Holidays to all of you 🙂
It’s so hard to not cross that fine line between instinct and judgment. Between making a smart decision because of a gut feeling and labeling someone because of an idea we have… I really try not to judge, I try to keep an open mind. Try to give people a chance to make me see who they are.
I’m no saint. I’m only human and it happens. I make assumptions and then make a decision based on them. You could also call this judging. This year is almost over and I guess I’m in my usual state of reflecting and trying to figure out how I can make myself a better person. I don’t want to fall back into being too polite to listen to my gut feelings but I also don’t want to allow my assumptions to take over. It’s about finding that balance… and hopefully I will 😉
The thoughts about instinct vs judging has kept me busy for a while now, as you can tell when you keep reading my Blast From The Past. I guess it’s a good thing. It means that I try to stay aware of which is which and keep control over it…
I remember it so vividly. How easy it was to just pick up my kids. Both of them. It’s no longer possible, as much as I’d like to sometimes. Even if I try they are so tall now…
When they were little and wanted to be picked up all the time I often thought that I can’t wait for it to be over. It’s physically challenging sometimes. And sometimes it’s not just the physical part but also a question of wanting some space. Space they give me now (and sometimes I don’t want it…).
And while they can no longer be just lifted up like this, I think all of us still crave for it occasionally. And when that moment is there, we find a way to at least get to a similar point by hugging and cuddling. The carrying… well that is no longer an option 😉
I guess when you are out and about and experience so many new things it automatically makes you think about your past as well. Maybe a little bit. There might be things out there reminding you of something back in your past. There might be scents, those split of moments that take you back to your childhood, your youth, one of the many moments that make up your past. I had so many of those moments over the last weeks. And it makes me realize how much we are made up of our past. How deep it all sits and how much it still is a part of us. We react according to experiences we’ve made. We fear, we crave according to what we have been through.
While we are out there day after day writing the next pages in our book of life, the chapters that are behind us still influence us. It’s up to us if we let them fuel or slow us down. I’d like to share a post I wrote a year back about some similar thoughts today as a Blast Of The Past post. As always I’d love to hear what you think about it…
I’m watching my kids grow up. Sometimes it feels they have changed over night. Become taller, with a changed shape of their bodies. Suddenly they are not the silly kids but more like goofy teenager or pre-teen. I often wonder where has the time gone. How did we get from breastfeeding to that deep voice in a blink of an eye.
And while I sit here wondering about how fast the time between now and them moving out will pass by I think about parenting. About the changes we have already been through. About the sleepless nights and the many “I wish it would be over finally” thoughts. I think about the moments I felt like I gave up on something, on a part of me for being a parent. If you are a parent, you know what I’m talking about.
I think about the many coffees that got cold, the showers I wanted to take in peace, all the moments I went to the bathroom hoping to have a bit of quiet time only to have one or both of the kids barge in. I think abut all the moments feeling like you are no longer in control of your life but they are. I think about the times I felt my identity was lost, feeling like I was “just a mom”, not my own person any longer. I think about all the moments I felt guilty. Guilty for not playing with them while I was cleaning the house, guilty for not cleaning because I was playing with them. Guilty for being strict and guilty for not being strict. I could go on and on about feeling guilty but it would take over this post…I sit here and think about the thoughts of “what have I given up” but there is one thought that overwrites it: “What have I gained!”
When you are stuck in those difficult moments, sleep deprived, in desperate need of a shower by yourself it’s hard to see what you gain. But then there is so so much. And isn’t parenting about gain and giving?
I figured I share a post about this with you once again as a Blast From The Past. I hope you enjoy and as always wondering what your thoughts are…
There were a lot of “Me Too” posts going around on Facebook recently and the ones of you who know what it’s all about might agree with me how surprising it was to see the many, many me too’s. For the few of you who might have missed it and have no clue what it is about: It’s about basically putting your hand up if you have ever been sexually assaulted in any way. I had a “me too” to put up as well. I admit my assault is most likely one to simply brush off and yet it crossed a line big time. It was “only” verbally but I still feel sick when thinking about it. I can only imagine how it must feel when you are “properly” assaulted.
In the entire series of “me too” posts I’ve seen one stood out for me. It was the post of one of my newly found friends who shared her thoughts about the responsibility we have as mothers to make sure our sons will not turn into the reason why a woman would say “me too”. She wrote about the responsibility we have to make sure our boys understand where the line is and also that it’s their responsibility as well to protect girls and stand up for them if necessary.
So the responsibility is in our hands. Not only to teach our daughters to stand up for and how to protect themselves but also to teach our sons to be respectful and protective of the girls in their lives. It’s about needing and wanting to the the right thing. Always. So I’d like to express some thoughts I have put out there a couple of months ago about what keeps me on my toes as a parent. But also about all the things influencing our kids and constantly leaving marks. Marks that often need to be addressed but also as often might not even been discovered for way too long.