I guess when you are out and about and experience so many new things it automatically makes you think about your past as well. Maybe a little bit. There might be things out there reminding you of something back in your past. There might be scents, those split of moments that take you back to your childhood, your youth, one of the many moments that make up your past. I had so many of those moments over the last weeks. And it makes me realize how much we are made up of our past. How deep it all sits and how much it still is a part of us. We react according to experiences we’ve made. We fear, we crave according to what we have been through.
While we are out there day after day writing the next pages in our book of life, the chapters that are behind us still influence us. It’s up to us if we let them fuel or slow us down. I’d like to share a post I wrote a year back about some similar thoughts today as a Blast Of The Past post. As always I’d love to hear what you think about it…
I’m watching my kids grow up. Sometimes it feels they have changed over night. Become taller, with a changed shape of their bodies. Suddenly they are not the silly kids but more like goofy teenager or pre-teen. I often wonder where has the time gone. How did we get from breastfeeding to that deep voice in a blink of an eye.
And while I sit here wondering about how fast the time between now and them moving out will pass by I think about parenting. About the changes we have already been through. About the sleepless nights and the many “I wish it would be over finally” thoughts. I think about the moments I felt like I gave up on something, on a part of me for being a parent. If you are a parent, you know what I’m talking about.
I think about the many coffees that got cold, the showers I wanted to take in peace, all the moments I went to the bathroom hoping to have a bit of quiet time only to have one or both of the kids barge in. I think abut all the moments feeling like you are no longer in control of your life but they are. I think about the times I felt my identity was lost, feeling like I was “just a mom”, not my own person any longer. I think about all the moments I felt guilty. Guilty for not playing with them while I was cleaning the house, guilty for not cleaning because I was playing with them. Guilty for being strict and guilty for not being strict. I could go on and on about feeling guilty but it would take over this post…I sit here and think about the thoughts of “what have I given up” but there is one thought that overwrites it: “What have I gained!”
When you are stuck in those difficult moments, sleep deprived, in desperate need of a shower by yourself it’s hard to see what you gain. But then there is so so much. And isn’t parenting about gain and giving?
I figured I share a post about this with you once again as a Blast From The Past. I hope you enjoy and as always wondering what your thoughts are…
There were a lot of “Me Too” posts going around on Facebook recently and the ones of you who know what it’s all about might agree with me how surprising it was to see the many, many me too’s. For the few of you who might have missed it and have no clue what it is about: It’s about basically putting your hand up if you have ever been sexually assaulted in any way. I had a “me too” to put up as well. I admit my assault is most likely one to simply brush off and yet it crossed a line big time. It was “only” verbally but I still feel sick when thinking about it. I can only imagine how it must feel when you are “properly” assaulted.
In the entire series of “me too” posts I’ve seen one stood out for me. It was the post of one of my newly found friends who shared her thoughts about the responsibility we have as mothers to make sure our sons will not turn into the reason why a woman would say “me too”. She wrote about the responsibility we have to make sure our boys understand where the line is and also that it’s their responsibility as well to protect girls and stand up for them if necessary.
So the responsibility is in our hands. Not only to teach our daughters to stand up for and how to protect themselves but also to teach our sons to be respectful and protective of the girls in their lives. It’s about needing and wanting to the the right thing. Always. So I’d like to express some thoughts I have put out there a couple of months ago about what keeps me on my toes as a parent. But also about all the things influencing our kids and constantly leaving marks. Marks that often need to be addressed but also as often might not even been discovered for way too long.
Ever day I look at my children and see how much they have changed. I embrace the cuddles, the kisses, the coming over in the night because they had a nightmare. I know that I need to embrace those moments as the kids grow up and soon they will not need me in the same way anymore. Totally fine, totally normal. And yet a lesson that I have to learn and get adjusted to. I’d like to share this post about my thoughts I had about the same thing a couple of months ago once again as a Blast Of The Past.
It’s one of those days I think about how much easier it would be if people would just simply be that little bit more open minded and I decided to post a Blast From The Past about it. Hope you enjoy…
Kids sometimes ask the weirdest questions. And sometimes they also ask the deepest and the most difficult questions. I had some tough ones to answer today, not as tough as the ones in my Blast Of The Past post. I wonder how you guys answer questions like that? Honestly and child friendly or do you just make something up?
When you are out and about you will see them. People. Doing stuff. Things you would do differently. Maybe you even judge. Because it’s oh so in our nature to do so. You watch and you might think “I’d never to this”, “I’d say that”. And then one day it dawns to you: You just did!
Or you ear drop on people making remarks about others in regards to how they do things wrong and how they, of course, would never do that…
Happens to me all the time. And actually just recently again. So I thought I share my thoughts in form of a Blast From The Past and hope you enjoy…
Do you have this thing called “Dry July” as well? The challenge to not drink alcohol for the entire month of July? Well, we do down here. And I decided to try to tackle it. And while I realize how much I enjoy my glass of wine in the evening and also how I feel like I miss it at the moment, it also makes me think about what addiction actually is. It’s not only physical. It’s mental as well. My body doesn’t react cold turkey style but my mind challenges me every evening when I sit down on the sofa. It challenges me in asking for that glass of wine every time our dinner is served. A good lesson to learn and a great challenge to go through. Not to speak of the realization that comes with all of this. So I decided to share a Blast From The Past in regards to drugs today…