There’s a lot on my mind today and yet I can’t really put it in words. It’s one of those moments where you want to express yourself but simply can’t. I still don’t really know if I have processed it. I guess it’s not real. It’s just not real because I don’t “feel” the loss. It’s not part of my day to day life. Sometimes it’s a good thing, sometimes not.
I guess when you lose someone that was so important to you all of your life and you are used to seeing that person on a regular base it hits you hard. Not that it wouldn’t have hit me.
But it’s probably easier to forget that the person is actually gone when you lived the past 10 years on the opposite sides of this planet. You don’t see each other. The days go by and it’s just normal to not spend time together. And then, when that person is gone, it doesn’t change your day to day really. Because it’s not as if a part of it was removed.
On some days I’m not even aware of the fact that my Dad is no longer with us. But then it hits me and it almost feels like a little electric shock. It’s real. He is no longer here. There will no longer be moments to share, memories to be make. No more phone calls. No more hearing him whistle with the birds, no more of his giggling. I will not have the chance anymore to hug him and smell the very familiar scent of his skin or aftershave.
It comes in waves, that realization that he is gone. I still have no answers to the questions that were in my head when I wrote the following post one year ago. What I do know is, that he is up there with the stars, whistling with the wind now…
Sometimes the direction seems clear. You know which way you have to go. But there are still choices you have to make while heading there…
Inspired by Cee’s Which Way Challenge
You know how we say that time flies by? Today I had this interesting feeling when realizing that it’s Saturday once again and the end of February is only just around the corner. But then what I did last Saturday at the same time already seems so far away. Time is indeed a very interesting and fascinating concept and I can see why a man like Einstein was so intrigued by it. I can see why we would love to figure out how it works. We figured out a lot over the last centuries… but will we ever figure out something so complex as time? I doubt it.
Anyway, here are the posts I enjoyed reading the most over the last week. I hope you all had a great week and are looking forward to a wonderful weekend. Happy weekend you all 🙂
I have a thing with poo. Not what you might think now. Nothing gross. Nope. It’s more about the fact that I get really annoyed with people not picking up after their dogs. This post is triggered by a post pensitivity101 recently shared.
Dog owners or not, we all know that dog owners are meant to pick up their dog’s left over. There are bins and bags for this special purpose everywhere. But many people seem to ignore it. And it drives me insane.
It’s been a beautiful morning today. One of the mornings you can’t help but enjoying your early walk with the doggies and maybe add another little bit to the usual round. It was one of the mornings you can’t help but looking up, watching the birds fly by (Cockatoos make such noise!) and enjoy the sunny morning.
And then I passed the train station.
I can’t tell you how often I pull instead of pushing or vice versa… and I always feel stupid. Years ago I used to explain it with the language “problem”. Now I don’t have that excuse…