I don’t know how often we will write or read texts, articles, posts like this one here. Post in which we mention how bewildered we are about what has just occurred again. Statements we make about having enough, highlighting the fear, the anger, the numbness we feel. They pain we feel for the parents, the families, the friends who have lost loved ones once again. Maybe we even express our hope that now, finally, something will change, to then only realize that time will go buy, nothing will change until the cycle will begin again, from the beginning till the end with the same result.
You know what, Eric, you just inspired me to write this post. Not because of the post I link to but because of your comment in regards to parenting. Parenting is NOT easy. It’s not easy because there is no manual. It’s not easy because there is mother’s and father’s guilt…
The shops were full with heart shaped boxes of chocolate, flowers and advertising about making sure you buy something nice for your Valentine were everywhere. Every year it gets me. And I admit I did it too, I advertised my products in connection to V-Day in a different way too. Trying to make a sale, trying to convince someone they need to buy it in order to make their loved ones happy.
But is the gift really what matters? Is it really only about an item to purchase and then gift? Is it how we show our affection and love? Is this entire hype not much more about making a sale? Filling tables in the restaurants, selling the bubbly? Do we really need to buy stuff to show our love to each other?
I don’t think so. V-Day is part of our society. It’s nice to have a day to celebrate relationships. Just like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I don’t have an issue with that. But where does it stop. You have birthdays, Christmas, name days (who celebrates them?), Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas in July (yes that’s a thing here in Australia) and so on. They all have one thing in common: They make us believe that we have to head out and buy a gift or gifts for the people we care about. And we expect to get a gift too.
Recently I heard a statement of a young woman: “And you know what he did? He bought me the handbag and told me what it is before he gave it to me. That was it. My day was ruined…” So that guy heads out, spends heaps of money on a handbag (heaps!) and then gets so excited because he knows that she always wanted that handbag that he can’t wait any longer to give it to her and then her day is ruined? Seriously?
So much pressure! Pressure on people buying things, wrapping it right, presenting it right and in the right moment, the right day, the right time. Instead of going with the flow and gifting a gift when you feel like it. Out of the blue, unexpected. Just like that. Because we want to. Not because and ad tells us to.
I’m not saying it’s all wrong. I love all those special days too. But keep it real. Keep in mind what it’s about. It’s not about filling the bank account of some company. It’s about a genuine gift for someone you care about. It’s about appreciation for each other. And that you can show in any form at any time… no need for a special day… Buy that special something on that odd day, when you feel like it. Write a card on Valentine’s Day to let them know how much you love them. Don’t get blamed into having to run after a gift. Tell your special person what they mean to you. In your way. In your words…
Definitely makes you think. Or not?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s totally radical to send your kids to school. But it’s also not that radical to decide to homeschool. The crazy thing is that people consider it a “far out” way of education.
It does take a village to raise a child. Different influences are important. Different people in their lives are important. Adjusting to different situations and group dynamics are important for them. But that doesn’t mean that everything has to be “outsources”…
Pick one (or more), it comes from my heart… 😀
A 16 year old girl drinks to much. She is intoxicated and trusts the guy who leads her to a room. She enters the room where it’s totally dark. He leads her to the bed. Because she is totally drunk her instincts probably don’t kick in.
There are actually 8 men in the room. And a GoPro.
They rape her.
“Turn her around.”
“Just like a piece of meat.”
And many more things Police will hear while watching the footage.
When Police knock on her door approx a week after because they have discovered the footage on the GoPro after having arrested one of the dickheads while spraying Graffitis she is shocked. She knew something has happened to her but didn’t recall exactly what and therefor didn’t go to the police. Afraid of not being taken serious.
Out of the 8 men 3 get sentenced. Maximum sentence is 13 years, the other two get away with 8 years and even less. Why did the one guy get 13 years? Probably because he was the one spraying the Graffiti… The other 5? Guess they were lucky…
Bottom line: While the girl is scarred for life the criminals who did this get away with basically nothing as they will be out in a couple of months on parole anyway. If you want to commit a crime to be stowed away in a comfortable cell with HD TV and other luxuries just rape someone. Because you’ll be out in now time. Don’t commit fraud. That will give you more time. Don’t get caught damaging stuff because that will give you more time. Don’t use illegal substances because that will give you more time…
Seriously? Wtf is wrong with our system? They filmed it. No doubt. She was unable to give consent. She was raped. She is 16. I sure hope they will experience heaps of what they did to the girl in prison over the short time they’re in there. Shame nobody will film it…
I should be grumpy. Or maybe upset. Maybe even angry. Scared. Why? Because some kind of idiot from my past has decided to harass me via emails sent to the place I volunteer. With lots of lies, aggression and even threats in it. But I’m not.
I tell you why: I’ve decided to not give him space because he doesn’t deserve it. His lies are so far fetched that it’s almost funny. His threats? I feel like a duck with water on its feathers. They drop off.
There is so much good in my life, so many good people so much positive energy that his own frustration that he tries to live out on me simply has no room. Will I just take it? Trust me it all goes to the right place and if it gets too much steps will be taken. But for now: I’m the bigger person.