The Room To Be Yourself

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Our children mix with a lot of kids from all kind of different schools. They have a really good group of friends, all with similar values from what I can tell. It all happened by coincidence, you know. The way they found each other. Being home-schooled children, mine didn’t find their buddies in the classroom or playing during recreation. In a way it was life that brought them together.

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When 3 Become 4

I’ve shared my thoughts before about how life changes when you as a couple have your first child. When 2 become 3.

It’s a big dynamic changer, don’t you think? Suddenly your life evolves around the tiniest and youngest member of the family. You no longer have priority. Your needs are second. Add to that the exhaustion that comes along with being a first time parent and you most likely find yourself wondering how you got to the point where you are at and admit that you would have never thought you’d feel like this ever.

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The Story Carried By The Wind

I’ve been out there again. Walking along the beach today. It was a calm day, not many people on the beach and even the seal that every now and then finds some peace on said beach wasn’t around. The water was calm, some grey clouds hanging around. While walking my my head was silent. It doesn’t often happen. No thoughts. Just my breathing, the sound of my steps in the sand and he gentle splashing of the couple small waves.

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Finish Your Food!

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As kids and as parents we know the scenario all too well. There is a plate of food standing there with either something on it that kids don’t like or maybe it’s just too much for a child to handle. Many parents have the approach of “finish what’s on your plate”. I remember many stories my mother told us children about her having to stay at the table for hours because she couldn’t finish her food. Thankfully she did not incorporate this into her style of parenting.

I still see parents telling their children to finish their plate although it’s pretty obvious that they simply can’t fit anything in their tummies anymore. And I honestly struggle with this kind of approach.

I struggle for multiple reasons.

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Being a mother is a full time job. Actually it’s a 24/7 job. From the moment we open our eyes till the minute we fall asleep in one way or another we focus on our children. Even during the night. Have you realized that your sleep is not as deep as it used to be before you had children?

The interesting thing is that although it can be exhausting at times, we don’t really look at being a mother as a job in that sense. That’s because the things we do we do out of love. It’s natural, it’s normal, it’s who we are, who we want to be.

Our reward is not the paycheck at the end of the month. It’s not a promotion and it’s not an award. It’s a hug, a smile, a kiss. It’s seeing the sparkle in our children’s eyes. It’s seeing them happy, hearing them giggle. It’s their “mommy, I love you” or “you are the best mom ever”.

I often hear and sometimes say it myself: You give up a lot when you become a mother. But is it really a sacrifice? Not at all. While you give up some aspects of the life you knew you gain so many new ones for the years to come.

I think it was Steve Jobs who once said that old things have to leave in order to make room for new things (or something down that line). I guess you can apply that to phases of your life as well. This old you will have to make room for your new you. In order for you to grow. And clearly, as a parent we grow massively. The responsibility we have suddenly, the love we feel and give, the fears, sorrows and happiness we will encounter shape us.

Being a mom is tough at times. So is being a dad. We make mistakes. We don’t know the answer to everything. We wing it more often than we want to admit. It’s learning by doing without a manual that truly helps.

But when your kids tell you that you are the best mom ever, because you are always there for them it makes up for everything. When they tell you that they love you because you always look after them, because you give the best hugs and because you make them feel loved and understood, you know that you are on the right track. When your children look at you and you instantly know that this is what love is all about, you have clearly hit the jackpot.

We often refer to ourselves as being “just a mom”. But being “just a mom” is so much more than being anything else. And it’s sure something we all can be proud of.

Happy Mother’s Day 🙂


It’s hard sometimes to apologize. Not just because we lack for words to explain how bad we might feel for something we have done. But also because sometimes we feel like we’ve not done anything wrong. Because we realize that the other person feels we need to apologize but in our mind we did what we had to do.

It’s then when we desperately try to explain why we acted a certain way. We use “but” and “because” and what was expected to be an apology ends up being a desperate attempt to make the other side realize that we simply saw it differently.

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