Blast From The Past – Ode To A Playground

We spent a wonderful evening with our friends last night and as we all are from overseas, we sometimes talk about our “motherland” and how we spent our childhood. Moments like those bring up memories and one of them is about a special place I used to spend time at.

I’d like to share a post about it as a Blast From The Past today. Do you have a place like this as well?

Not my spot, but pretty similar to it…

You’re gone. It will never be the same again. The magic I found in you will not return. The timing though could not be better. I wonder why it happened at that moment. Maybe it was meant to be. Maybe it happened so I could let go of you for good as everything was about to change anyway…

I’ve spent many hours sitting with you admiring the moss growing on your roots and imagining that little fairies would live inside and under you. The little creek that was softly flowing past you took my imagination even further. Maybe there would be water fairies too? Would the fairies get along? Would they need little boats too? How would they build their houses? Was the moss enough for them to keep warm? Were they hiding in pine cones?

I was a child. A child that took her horse for a ride and stopped on a regular base next to you to let the horse have a drink. Then I decided to actually stop and have a snack and let my imagination run wild. I child that picked up pine cones, pretending they were little forest people. A child that collected sticks to build little shelters for the pine cone people. A child that was looking forward to return, smell the fresh forest air, listen to the splish splash of the creek, watching sticks float by, caressing her horse while telling the forest people story to the beautiful mare. A child that eventually turned into a teenager, who still loved to escape the real world on her rides and take a breather, sitting on the cool moss, smelling the moss, the soil, the forest. A teenager that turned into a young adult, enjoying to take a break at that very spot and let the mind wander.

You provided me with many beautiful days. Hot summer days were spent in the shade of your branches. Crisp fall days were equally enjoyed. In winter though you were off limits as there was just no way to get to you. Every spring I was wondering if you would still look the same or if nature would have changed something. Of course you changed slightly. The loss of a branch, a new created little arm of the creek. They were small changes. What didn’t change was the calm you gave me. The little escape from whatever was going on in my life. The energy I found back to after taking a break under the branches.

I still visited you after growing up, even after losing my horse. And I was hoping for many moments spent admiring you with my children. But it was not meant to be.

We decided to move to Australia but that was not the biggest change. Nature changed. It changed everything.

It was a huge storm. A lot of rain. And the river that fed the creek carried too much water and too much debris to be handled. There was a massive flood that changed the entire area you grew in. Months after the storm, when it was safe to return and things were kind of cleaned up everything looked different. Gone was the creek. Gone was the gentle river bank. Gone were you.

Gone was my childhood.

It seemed like a clear end to a chapter of my life. It seemed like a sign that it was time to move on.

The interesting thing is that this area was what I would have missed the most. Now it’s no longer there. As much as I felt sad for it to be gone, it helped me to let go of what would no longer be there. My childhood, my horse and my life in Switzerland.

The memories though will stay with me forever.

Inspired by the Daily Post Daily Prompt – Ode To A Playground

When Honey Takes You Back

Maybe it was the post of a friend of mine about the loss of her mom. Maybe it was the honey on my toast this morning. Maybe it’s because I know I should continue writing his story but I froze… Whatever it is I can’t help thinking of my dad today.

My dad passed away in a beautiful age of almost 95 a couple of years ago. He suffered from dementia and in a way it robbed him of the last good years of his life. He had a fantastic life. I life definitely worth sharing. Dementia changed him though.

Some might say it was the age. I tell you it wasn’t. And I’m for sure not the right person to even make such a statement. I have not seen my dad in the years dementia struck really. Only at the beginning of it and at the very end. Given as we live in Australia and he was back in Switzerland. It changed him. And yet, it didn’t manage to entirely get to him.

I saw him for just about 2 weeks before he past away. While I was there he suffered from a really bad cold that turned into a chest infection and that took the last strength out of him. To be honest I thought he would pass away on the very first day I saw him again. He looked so bad. It was a brutal moment. Finally have made it over there again, being exhausted from the trip, dealing with all the feelings of being back and then seeing him so unwell. But he somehow “recovered”. I was told he really never made it back to the “strength” he had left before but he at least got to the point where we could interact. And I could tell that he recognized me and my family.

Dementia is brutal. It’s eating away on a person and from the outside you see them disappear. I often wonder how frustrating it must be for someone suffering from it and realizing in the early stages that bits and pieces are simply not connecting anymore. That parts of your memory are suddenly turning into clouds to then only disintegrate into nothing. And yet, when I saw him, I had the intense feeling that there was so much more there. Somewhere in there. Under a big pile of dust or in a big, thick cloud. Not easy for him to access anymore but still sort of trying to get to the surface. And sometimes it felt almost like that moment the sun is peaking through storm clouds for a brief moment. Those memories, the him he used to be, it all came through. Just for a short moment.

So when I sat down for breakfast this morning I felt like a piece of toast and honey. When we were kids my dad used to love to mix honey and butter. He called it “ant cream”… Don’t ask me why… And that mixture had this amazing creamy and sweet taste. When I’m focused I usually take my toast and spread the butter on it and then the honey. This morning though I was in thoughts. And in between putting the kettle on, drinking a glass of water and getting other things ready I mixed butter and honey just like we used to do it with dad… And somehow it tasted so much better then my usual toast with honey on it.

 

Posts I wrote about my dad:

About an ant hill
About not being an empty shell
About his passing
About him
About mountains
About luxury
About my favorite childhood memories
About the wind and stories it carries along

Sunset

 

Share Your World – 7th September, 2018

Cee has offically handed over the task to sparksfromacombustiblemind in regards to the Share Your World Challenge and has found an amazing successor.  Today I will tackle another great set of questions and the challenge is as much fun as it was previously. So in that sense nothing has changed really. If you are into Q&A then definitely check out the “new” Share Your World from now on.

For those of you who have not participated so far here are the rules (that have stayed the same):

Rules

‘I will post four different questions each week for you to answer.  There are two ways which you can participate.

  1. Create a SYW  post.  Then post the link to your blog in my comment box or leave your answers in the comments box of my blog.
  2. To make it easy for others to check out your photos, title your blog post “Share Your World”  and link it to this post.
  3. Remember to Follow My Blog to get your weekly reminders.

I usually will respond to your entry on your blog, rather than on my page.”  

But now let’s get to the main part:

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Blast From The Past – Favorite Childhood Memory

It’s still cold here in Australia but the sun is getting stronger again. The combination often makes me think of fall days in Switzerland and today while standing in the park watching soccer my mind took me back to my childhood. To some of my most favorite moments. The  picnics, the hikes, the horses… my dad. So I’d like to share this post as a Blast From The Past (on many levels) today…
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So Far…

I had the privilege to watch Pink live yesterday and it was amazing. I will not bore you with a post about how inspiring I find her. I will not tell you how happy I am that my daughter was there with me and hopefully got the message she was spreading. I will not mention how much my son liked the show and the music and how impressed he was about her performance. And I will not let you know that I almost feel like having a crush on her…

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Wind In My Face – A Blast From The Past

It’s a cold early winter day. The wind feels almost icy on my face. I walk our dogs but my thoughts are somewhere very different. Not here in Australia and not with the dogs. I feel the cold wind on my skin and it takes me back to my childhood. I remember the day so well. It’s one of the days that is so clearly there still. Not a foggy memory. It’s almost like watching a movie.

We are in the back of a valley, it’s winter. I’m riding the white pony of a friend. His fur is long and on the tip of the hairs there are little, tiny ice drops from his sweat. The snow under the hooves crunches with ever step the pony is making. I’m young. I’m not an experienced rider yet. My Dad is there. Right next to the pony, holding on to it. I remember him wearing all black. Black, long and thick coat and a black beanie. We were talking about so many things, things a girl my age care about. We talk about the local ice hockey team. Yes, I still remember this. So many years ago.

So many beautiful moments spent with him and this one is still here. Like a movie I’m watching over and over again. While I walk back home I know I want to share a post I wrote about it once again today. And I know it will be one of the days I will spend thinking about him a lot. Maybe it’s one of the days I will head to the beach. Later today. Sit there and let my mind travel back and “spend some time with him once again”…

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The Story Carried By The Wind


I’ve been out there again. Walking along the beach today. It was a calm day, not many people on the beach and even the seal that every now and then finds some peace on said beach wasn’t around. The water was calm, some grey clouds hanging around. While walking my my head was silent. It doesn’t often happen. No thoughts. Just my breathing, the sound of my steps in the sand and he gentle splashing of the couple small waves.

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Song A Day, Second Round – Day 3

It’s the second round in the Song A Day Challenge for me and this time I got invited by Rob, whose blog Art By Rob Goldstein is truly amazing. I truly enjoyed the last “run” as it makes me think about the music I like to listen to and also why I do like the songs that much.

The rules are:

  • Post a song a Day for five consecutive days
  • Post what the lyrics mean to you ( optional)
  • Post the name of the song and video 
  • Nominate two different bloggers each day of the challenge.

Just like so many songs, this one here was a steady “friend” of mine for a while, dealing with boys and growing up, maybe even with finding myself. You never stop growing up, you know… and you also deal with boys for all your life in that sense 😉

Today I’d like to invite Jacqueline to participate in this fun challenge. Hope you have fun 🙂