Do you believe people belong to people? Do you? See, I don’t.
While I see why we use the phrase “I belong to you” and it makes sense in a way, it should never really mean that someone truly belongs to someone. There is no ownership. We are individuals and while we most likely feel happy to find someone that suits us and completes us, we will always remain individuals. Free and independent. Just the way it should be.
We link arms, we are partners, we move on and grow together but we never are a possession of the other one. I hope you don’t mind if I bring up a post I shared with you previously in regards to this. Happy weekend you all…
Do you sometimes wonder as well why some relationships work and others don’t? Why some people who seem to be made for each other just simply don’t click or grow apart? Why others who seem so totally opposite work so well as a couple? Do you sometimes wonder what the magic ingredient is that makes a relationship last for decades? I just recently had a little chat with my daughter about this. At the moment she loves to play getting married with her Barbies (yes, we are still playing Barbie together…) and one day after we finished she looked at me and asked how it’s possible that some people break up why others relationship lasts forever.
It’s hard to answer this. Of course there are some ingredients that need to be there like love, mutual respect and attraction. But what don’t we all start there? So I tried to find the right words to explain that couples all start off more or less with the same things that connect them. But over time things change and that it depends on how they deal with it and how willing they are to grow together. I realized how hard it is to explain it, especially to a girl who so far only knows love for her parents, brother and friends.
I’d like to share a Blast Of The Past with you in regards to this. Some additional thoughts I had in relation to the same subject when I discussed it with my son. And I’d love to hear what your thoughts are…
The shops were full with heart shaped boxes of chocolate, flowers and advertising about making sure you buy something nice for your Valentine were everywhere. Every year it gets me. And I admit I did it too, I advertised my products in connection to V-Day in a different way too. Trying to make a sale, trying to convince someone they need to buy it in order to make their loved ones happy.
But is the gift really what matters? Is it really only about an item to purchase and then gift? Is it how we show our affection and love? Is this entire hype not much more about making a sale? Filling tables in the restaurants, selling the bubbly? Do we really need to buy stuff to show our love to each other?
I don’t think so. V-Day is part of our society. It’s nice to have a day to celebrate relationships. Just like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I don’t have an issue with that. But where does it stop. You have birthdays, Christmas, name days (who celebrates them?), Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas in July (yes that’s a thing here in Australia) and so on. They all have one thing in common: They make us believe that we have to head out and buy a gift or gifts for the people we care about. And we expect to get a gift too.
Recently I heard a statement of a young woman: “And you know what he did? He bought me the handbag and told me what it is before he gave it to me. That was it. My day was ruined…” So that guy heads out, spends heaps of money on a handbag (heaps!) and then gets so excited because he knows that she always wanted that handbag that he can’t wait any longer to give it to her and then her day is ruined? Seriously?
So much pressure! Pressure on people buying things, wrapping it right, presenting it right and in the right moment, the right day, the right time. Instead of going with the flow and gifting a gift when you feel like it. Out of the blue, unexpected. Just like that. Because we want to. Not because and ad tells us to.
I’m not saying it’s all wrong. I love all those special days too. But keep it real. Keep in mind what it’s about. It’s not about filling the bank account of some company. It’s about a genuine gift for someone you care about. It’s about appreciation for each other. And that you can show in any form at any time… no need for a special day… Buy that special something on that odd day, when you feel like it. Write a card on Valentine’s Day to let them know how much you love them. Don’t get blamed into having to run after a gift. Tell your special person what they mean to you. In your way. In your words…
What is your story? Your personal love story? The story of you and your partner? How did you meet, what did you feel? Was it love at first sight? Did you know?
I love sharing beautiful love stories on my blog. If you are in love, in a relationship, please tell your story. Share it with me and my readers bu simply email the story or the link to it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’ve shared many already and I think yours deserves to be among them too.
How often do you hear someone accusing someone else of stealing their partner? It happens, right? Every time I hear this phrase it makes me think. Just like the other day when I was listening to the radio and the hosts had this discussion about Katie Perry and Taylor Swift and how they were best friends until one stole the boyfriend of the other. To be honest, I don’t even have a clue who did what there and it actually doesn’t really bother me of they get along or not.
But (here it is again): Suddenly so many thoughts started racing through my head.
I took my daughter to a birthday party yesterday and while watching them get rid of their energy by climbing walls, towers and other interesting object in one of the indoor climbing facilities I had a chat with one of the other moms. We talked about how the girls have met and the friendship they have between each other. She then mentioned how much the birthday girl meant to her daughter. That her daughter sees the birthday girl as her best friend but that it was not the same for the host than for her baby. She explained that although the birthday girl really appreciates the friendship with her daughter she knows that it’s on a different level.
Friendships can be like that, I guess. Being there and talking about this made me think of my best friend and the relationship we have and used to have. And while I did this I thought, that it’s all about the perspective we have and our expectations. Maybe the birthday girl thinks exactly the same way about the friendship to this other girl. But maybe she simply has a different way of showing it. So I remembered a post I wrote about a similar thought and would like to share it as a Blast From The Past with you today. I wonder what your take is. Do you think we can actually value something the same way but life it in a very different way?
We’ve spent the day out hiking in one of the beautiful forests in the closer area. It was just one of those amazing spring days. A day you just want to spend outside. Spring is in the air and that definitely also applies to all the “lovebirds” out there. Today I did not only see young couples. I also watched some more senior ones. As much as young love is beautiful I find it truly wonderful to see an older couple together. Today reminded me of a post I wrote earlier this year, which I’d like to share as a Blast From The Past. I did it again… I assumed that the older couple has spent a lifetime together and I admired them for still being so much in love with each other. But did they really? Or did they just find each other?