As mothers we are so used to pick up our children. We carry them in our arms from the very beginning, watch them how they fall asleep in our arms, while we rock them gently. And they grow. They grow so fast. Suddenly they crawl or walk, stumble, get back up and continue on their journey of discovery.
Still though, they need us. They want us to pick them up, reaching out their arms in our direction, letting us know that enough is enough and that now they want to be held or carried by us. And we do. Once more we do our very own “gym session”, our parenting Olympics. We squad down and lift them up, hopefully engaging all necessary muscles… In any case, we lift them up. I bet thousands of times.
I had a post in my mind that I wanted to write today. But I totally forgot what it was about. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever had a post clearly structured in your mind and then you forgot everything about it? I forgot about it because my mind got occupied with all the thoughts triggered by my reblog of the question “would you want to know” and the comments of all of you.
Triggered by a comment I believe we need to differentiate between would you want to know at all or would you rather not know forever. If you would find it out would you want your partner to be the bearer of the bad news or would it make no difference to you and the decision you’d make if your partner would break the news or someone else?
I’m not sure of course where you are at but I think I would want to know anyway. If you never know it’s a big secret to be kept. I get that in some cases it seems better to not say anything because of the impact it might have and because in the end it really didn’t matter that much. How can it not matter? It matters of course but in my books if it’s only been about sex then it doesn’t matter as much as if it includes more.
Yes, I call it “just” sex. Because I think that sex is not the most important ingredient in a working relationship. Hang on, not just in a working but actually in a good relationship. It’s not. It’s one of the spices you put in there but the basics are so many different things.
You have seen it. My Blast From The Past posts. And maybe you have wondered if I’m struggling coming up with things to write about. Honestly, sometimes it is the case and it is a good way to make a bridge to the point where you feel you have inspiration again. Sometimes it even triggers an additional post because you feel you need to go deeper into a thought only just slightly touched in the original post.
Have you ever heard people complain about not having a life anymore? I find that in general a very stupid thing to say. As long as you are alive you have a life! What I think is even harsher is hearing them say that they don’t have a life anymore because of their children. Shouldn’t your kids be part of your life? What makes me shake my head is when I hear them say this in front of their kids. Those are the moments I have to walk away in order to not go on a rant. Seriously: Just don’t get it!
First of all: You have a life. Your kids are part of your life and even if there are hard moments, they make your life so much better if you truly let them. Saying something like that in front of your kids is hard. Especially if it is said in such a serious way. How do you think it makes your kids feel? How would it make you feel?
Just had one of those moments, where I had to walk away. I had to turn around and walk away seeing the little girls face when the guy said it. It got to her. It hurt her. And I hope she will realize how much joy she brought in her parents lives. I really do.
I realize that sometimes we find ourselves in a situation that seems hard and maybe close to unsolvable. Maybe we feel like we are slaves to our job, our families, whatever else you can find out there. The way we live our life is up to us and we are the only ones in charge of it. Every decision we take is our decision. No matter how much pressure we feel we get from the outside. We hold the key. We are in charge. We can change everything.
I’d like to share a Blast From The Past about my life not being over just because of our children with you. And I also like to leave you with this: Next time when you want to say that your life is over, think about it. Think of everyone out there that truly sees the last couple of minutes of their life tick away. Think about how they usually live their last minutes. Because people who know that their life soon will be over usually make the most out of the very last moments. Maybe we should do that too. And live our life, every little moment of it. As if our time is running out.
What makes a relationship last? I know, I’m not the only one thinking about this question. What is it that makes people stay together and overcome obstacle after obstacle and only grow stronger in their bond while others throw in the towel after the first tiny bump in the road?
I guess there is probably no clear answer to this question. The reasons might be as diverse as the people involved are. And yet I think there must be one thing in common.
They just said on my favorite show in a report that it’s a surprising fact that women struggle so much with their body image… Are you serious? How can it be surprising? How can it be surprising that every woman, every girl who is not a size 4 develops issues given the fact that every woman, every girl in every kind of advertising looks like she is the perfect size with the perfect curves and the perfect skin (thanks to Photoshop of course…)? How is it a surprise that we question ourselves, our bodies, if cloths sizes suddenly are adjusted? So that even if we did not change weight wise we don’t fit in the size we used to wear for years?
Stop being so hard on yourself! See your beauty, acknowledge it and be proud! Have a little conversation with yourself and be kind…
As a Blast From The Past a little conversation I had with myself often in the past and some thoughts about struggling with our bodies…
The ones of you who have followed me for a while now know that I’m not a very religious person. I do believe but I believe in my way. So it might come as a surprise to you that I use this picture, this quote, this psalm to start my post. Maybe what I have to say from here on will shed some light on the reason why.
I’m sitting here, fighting back tears. Tears of sadness, anger, frustration. I just finished reading a post. A post of a fellow mother. A post about Orlando, but so much more. A post about her worries for her child. A powerful post of being strong, having faith in life and about fear. Fear because her child is “different”.
Initially I wanted to share the link in my Picks Of The Week tomorrow but it’s one of those posts that is too strong for me to wait. Too many thoughts in my mind at this very moment.
Her child is a rainbow. Her child is born as a girl in the body of a boy. It took me a while to find the right way to explain it. I tried “her son is a boy who wants to be a girl”. But that’s not true. It has nothing to do with what he wants. It has to do with what she is.
It just doesn’t let me go. The question Danny posted and I reblogged yesterday: What is true love?
It was interesting to see what you left in my comments. It was also interesting to see what was left in the comments on Dream Big, Dream Often’s blog. If you don’t mind I would like to share some comments from Danny’s blog, comments that made me think, nod and smile:
A post on a blog that I just only discovered made me think about friendship, distance and value of friends. Although the post on Nirvanamamablog is more about friendships and distance it made me think about the value of true friends more than about keeping up friendships over a huge distance. I believe that true friendships last no matter of the circumstances and that if you have a true connection 22hours plane ride and up to 10 hour time difference won’t break it.
Those are the friends you can not see for months but when you get together you pick up where you left it immediately. Those are the friends who understand you, no words needed. Those are the friends you can build on and trust. I have shared my thoughts about the value of true friends before. Over time you will encounter fake friends. I think it’s just something that belongs to life and maturing. It’s a lesson we all have to learn. The one thing that matters is to accept that not everyone is meant to stay. It’s learning to let go of the ones that are not worth hanging on to and not to shed a tear for. If a fake friend disappears it’s never a loss. In the contrary! You will only gain from it.
I hope you enjoy this Blast From The Past about fake friends and what I think of them (also inspired by the Daily Post Daily Prompt – Learning)…