Let’s Get Physical? Oh Hell No!

I don’t like it when parents slap their kids, not at home and especially not in public. There is no place for it. If you get to the point where you lose control over yourself to a point where you have to get physical with someone that is so obviously smaller and weaker than you, then you have really lost a lot. But of course that’s only my point of view. I’ve watched a mom lose it today. Her little boy must have only been just under four (I guess) and I admit he behaved like (excuse my language) a real asshole child.

Yes! I called the child an asshole child. And yes, I believe there are asshole kids out there. Unfortunately. But you know what? I don’t think they were born asshole kids. They were turned into one.

I truly think that there are kids that are easier to handle than others. I believe that we all come into this world with certain tools nicely tucked up in our “luggage” and then over the time we start using them. And we get taught to use them and new tools in a certain way. Some parents teach the right things, some the wrong things and some neglect their kids. I don’t know what happens to the kids that turn out asshole kids or who truly is responsible. I believe though that an asshole child has a tendency to be difficult from the very beginning and then it’s up to the parents to lead by example and to set the boundaries.

But you don’t have to get physical!

I think as a parent you lose big time the moment you hit your child. You lose your control and the child will eventually pick up on it and use it against you. And you lose your child or at least part of his or her respect.

So back to that mom (sorry, I kind of lost myself here…).

She slaps her son. And pretty hard. Of course the noise level which was already above everything gets even higher. Where he was throwing a tantrum before he is now crying his lungs out. Everyone is watching of course. And her reaction? She smiles at us, shrugs her shoulders and says: “That’s what you get if you don’t listen, right?”

Nope. Not right.

If it would be the right way, then why is physical punishment in our society not a must? Why would physically punish a child be okay while physically punishing an adult would not? Why can parents get away with physically hurting their kids while it will create an legal issue if adults get physical with each other?

I really don’t get it. I don’t get how you can approve of hitting a child. I can’t understand how it can become a parenting tool for some families. I really can’t. Funny how in our society it’s not okay if the stronger one physically abuses the weaker. But in parenting it seems to be okay.

To sum it all up, I’d like to use Haim G. Ginott’s words:

When a child hits a child, we call it aggression.
When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility.
When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault.
When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline.”