Make Me Smile

Sometimes the idea of how a perfect day would look like for me is not really matching the idea of a perfect day for my kids.

Well… normal, right? The idea of a perfect day for me is so far off of what they consider their perfect day. We all are different, even as adults. So how do you find the perfect middle? I guess, because we home-school we need to find this compromise more often than other families, as our kids are at home while others spend their day in school. And it can be hard to do so. Sometimes we manage to find a perfect compromise and sometimes we don’t.

I’ve mentioned before how much I love the fact that we home-school. I also mentioned that it is not always an easy ride. I am torn. I am torn between getting the things done I have to do and getting a little piece of the ‘perfect day in my life cake’ as well. I am torn between making my day work and making the day work for my kids. And as much as I want to please all of us, there are only 24 hours in a day. I figured I would list the things which would happen on perfect day for the three of us (let’s just not mention my husband here).

How my perfect day would look like (maybe)

• get up late eat a yummy breakfast with all the naughty stuff and feel good about it
• looking forward to a day with just me time
• go for a relaxed walk in the park with the dogs (and they listen to me all the time) and meet friendly people
• have a nice cup of coffee when I come back and a piece of chocolate (or more)
• sit down and enjoy reading a book or some blog posts
• Maybe go to the beach
• write posts or simply just write
• write a long email to my best friends overseas and tell them about what’s going on at the moment
• maybe eat something
• workout in piece and quietness and take enough time to properly stretch
• sit outside for a while and just relax
• eat dinner
• watch TV
• go to bed and sleep

How the perfect day for my daughter looks like

• sleep in (thanks for that!)
• get up and get the favorite breakfast right away
• not brushing the teeth
• not brushing the hair
• not changing out of her pj’s
• watch TV
• play Barbie (with mom)
• still play Barbie (with mom)
• keep playing Barbie (with mom)
• eat lunch
• play Barbie (with mom)
• maybe do some school, but only the favorite subject
• play more Barbie (with mom)
• get some cookies
• eat dinner
• get a dessert
• Why do I have to brush my teeth again?
• watch TV
• go to bed late

What the perfect day for my son would look like

• get up early
• eat the favorite breakfast
• watch TV (with mom)
• Maybe remember to brush teeth while getting dressed
• play Minecraft (with either mom or dad or the best friend)
• keep playing Minecraft
• maybe interrupt playing Minecraft to get some chocolate
• maybe interrupt playing Minecraft to play Pokemon
• starving! Need to eat lunch NOW
• acting like a teenager although not just there yet
• go back to playing Minecraft (totally okay if nobody joins in)
• keep playing Minecraft
• school? Why?
• A little more Minecraft
• Maybe interrupt Minecraft to watch TV
• STARVING AGAIN! Need dinner NOW
• Dessert
• brushing teeth again
• Watch some TV and fall asleep on the sofa

Well, of course for all 3 of us this is not going to happen really… So taking it all in consideration this how my day looks like (more or less):

What my day actually looks like:

• Getting up and making breakfast right now for starving children
• Somehow manage to eat breakfast as well in between taking care of the laundry, reading blogs on my iPhone, commenting on them and answering on comments (all while I am doing the laundry and start cleaning)
• Cleaning
• Get kids to brush teeth and get dressed
• Convince my daughter that hair needs to be brushed
• Putting laundry away
• School
• Time for blog (kind of) and a coffee
• Outside time and some exercise for the kids…
• Playing Barbie with my daughter while my son is still doing school
• Making lunch
• Cleaning up dishes
• Everyone outside! Dogs need to get a walk, kids need some outside time
• Explaining to my son why he can not play Minecraft now
• squeeze a 20min workout in
• Explaining my daughter why I can not play Barbie again with her now
• Snack time for them
• After school activities (actually sitting down and reading again or going grocery shopping)
• Making dinner
• Cleaning up after dinner
• Getting kids ready for bed
• Exhausted…

I know it does not look like much but it’s exhausting…

And sometimes I feel like I don’t want to do it all. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to clean, I don’t want to cook and I don’t want to do the laundry. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to play, I don’t want to sit down and watch the TV show the kids want to watch with me. Sometimes I feel like I just want to shut it all out for a few hours and be. Just be.

But then I see the kids. I look in their eyes. They look at me and don’t even ask. But I can see it in their eyes, how much they would like to have me around. And what can you do? I see the smile on my daughter’s face when I say “okay, let’s go and play now”. I see the smile on my son’s face when I ask him which show he would like to watch with me. I enjoy their smile and it makes me smile. I enjoy seeing them happy and after all it is only a small little effort from my side to stop and listen and make them happy. And after all this is what it is all about. Seeing them happy. Making them smile.

They will be all grown up way too soon. Maybe then they don’t want to watch TV with me anymore and for sure there won’t be any playing Barbie together any longer. So all those moments that seem a bit ‘uff’ now would be so dearly missed then. I would not have these kind of memories. Watching them play, seeing them smile when I change the Barbie for her or when I enjoy the show he picked. Doing something together does not have to be a hike or a trip or going to the museum. It can be the little things. Shooting some hoops together, watching them on the trampoline and maybe join in. Playing tag or hide and seek. Drawing or making crafts together. Pretend we are princesses or superheros.

And those moments take you back to a happy place. Our life was not always cleaning, washing and cooking. It was playing and singing and dressing up too. And through our kids we get some of it back. Little by little. It won’t last long though and this window will be gone again.

So yes, my day is not always the way I want it to be. But it is good enough. It is more than that. It actually is great. And I don’t mind spending it with Barbie as long as my little girl is right there with me. And I don’t mind spending it throwing balls or playing cards or games, as long as my boy is there with me. I don’t mind it all, as long as they smile. Because it makes me smile.