Our Words, Our Children

There is something that makes me truly mad. It’s when I hear parents talk down to their kids. When they talk to their children as if they are worthless or idiots. I wonder how you can do this. How you can let yourself go so badly that you take away the one thing your child will need in life: Self confidence.

How can you be so selfish to stomp all over your flesh and blood, even if it is only verbally? How can you call your child “little shit”, “pisser” or “this one” or “this idiot”? How can you make your child feel unworthy of your company? Why would you call your child “wimp”? What makes parents feel they have the right to do this?

When I hear something like this I freeze. I so want to say something, do something, make them realize how much damage they do. The problem is, that I can’t believe my ears. I can’t believe that I really heard what I heard. I start asking myself if they really said that. And by the time I know that I heard right, it’s too late.

I watched a little boy, maybe 4 years old, hurt himself. He was walking in front of his dad and was looking back to his dad, smiling at him and when he turned around it was too late for him to see the pole in front of him and he hit it. He hit it hard. He almost fell over backwards and started crying. But instead of going over there and hugging his child, the father started yelling at him and telling him off for being “such an idiot” for hitting the pole, a “stupid cry baby” and told him to “finally toughen up”. 4 years old… Why?

Why would you say such a thing when your child is hurt? What triggers such a reaction? And more important: What does that trigger in a child’s mind?

If you tell your child often enough that she or he is a wimp, an idiot, a cry baby, a pisser or a little shit, this child will probably start believing it. This child will grow up, thinking he or she is an idiot, is stupid, ugly, lame, a loser, a wimp, a little shit, a pisser, a little fuck or simply worthless. What will they turn into? A loser? A victim? A bully? A psycho? A lonely person? Or will they find a way to realize that they are worth something, despite what their parents called them?

I wish people would realize how important it is to treat your children with respect and love. The same respect and love you expect from them. The same respect and love you expect from others. Different people seem to have different approaches to raising children, I am aware of that. I wonder though, why so many seem to think it has to be the rough way… How about nurturing them? Nurture: Cherish, care and protect, help and encourage! What is wrong with that?